i don't own a chicken i own parrots, but i couldn't find anyone with same story on web. T_T
yesterday my beloved cockatiel, treasure, was walking about on the sofa without me knowing. the phone rang so i answered it half sitting on sofa. he must have wanted a cuddle and walked up to me because when i put the phone down and moved to sit down properly i accidentally crushed him
. all i heard was a shriek and he was completely limp. i must of broken his neck since he could only open and close his eyes. from accident to vet to put down because his heart beat was too weak. it all happened within a half hour. and this was on the day i needed to do GCSE exam. i had to do it straight after putting him down. being so upset i must of failed it.
i just can't forgive myself, he trusted me completely. we shared every meal with each other, bathed together, went for a relax in the garden together, watched tv together...
TT_TT i loved him more than anything in the world and i was the one who killed him.
i can't kill anything on purpose, i let fly's out the house rather than spray them.
and now his cage mate is lonely, it hurts even more that he does the flock call and he gets no reply.
so what if accidents happen, do they really have to happen over and over again. i had to grieve over 9 deaths last year, because of accidents. my heart hurts so much it feels like i'm having a heart attack.
how can i forgive myself?
how are you coping now anyway, how did you forgive yourself and get rid of the pain of loss?