How do I help my friend help herself (weight loss).

[holliewould]

I went on a diet about 3 months ago because I was exposed to..well lets just say I was grossed out by packaged foods and factory farming. So what I did was quit eating anything processed. Like, if I can't pronounce what's on the bag, I won't eat it. So I lost about 25 lbs in a matter of a couple of months. I feel healthier, I even eat more then before. What do i eat you ask? I eat a lot of beans, vegetables, and if I have a meat craving I eat wild game or home grown meats. I don't drink or eat commercial foods at all. I go to my local farmer markets and fruit stands for eggs, beans, vegetables etc. I drink a whole lot of fresh coconut milk, eat a lot of bananas, you name it and I will eat it if it's not commercial. It's the best thing I ever did for myself and I look great, feel great, and eat more then ever. Since your friend doesn't seem to care about herself enough to make a change, maybe she cares about other things to make a change. Say for example, if she's an animal lover, expose her to the realities of factory farms. Show her how these big food companies are putting crap in their products that have the vitamins taken out of them, then sugar and salt and other things added, and toxic chemicals too. She is living proof of this. I bet you a million bucks I eat way more then her and am healthy, fit, and extremely energetic. Anyway, a change like this is very drastic. My moral fiber comes before food. Sometimes people need a reality check. Good luck with this, I know it's painful for the both of you. Let me know if you need recipes etc.

 

[luvmychicknkids]

Thanks everyone.

Lots of great advice. I love the swimming instead of walking idea, and her apartment complex has a pool so that would be great. She doesn't have medical insurance anymore....her hours at work were cut enough that she no longer qualifies. Honestly, I think she is going to HAVE to have a mood altering drug of some sort. She has been on prescription ones in the past, and that is why I reccommended the diet pills. Not necessarily for weight loss, but for the mood enhancing benifits. I know I would not survive a PMS without them.....seriously. I tried to get her to talk to the doctor about gastric bypass when she did have insurance (at her weight I am sure insurance would have covered it) but she never did. As for diets not working, I totally agree....that is why I am helping her select fresh, healthy foods and helping her prepare it in simple and healthy ways. Her whole style of eating needs re-vamped. As for having people to talk to with similar issues, Hi

my name is Christy and I have been fighting bulemia since I was 12. So, while I can't do everything, I kinda know where she is coming from. She knows she can call me, day or night, if she needs to talk.

And yeah, I agree that doctors can be pretty mean to fat people. She has never told me that they were to her, but I do get the impression they have been.

So, thanks for all the advice, anthing else I would love to hear it!!!

 

[riderbecky]

What a wonderful friend you are!

She is blessed to have you. However, I think that she needs some professional advice. I would speak to her about seeing a nutritionist and a personal trainer. People who are morbidly obese shouldn't just jump into an exercise regime without professional help to make sure that they don't hurt themselves.

Have you heard of Paul McKenna? He had a series on TLC called "I can make you thin". The most notable thing he said was his 4 golden rules

1. When you are hungry, go and eat.
- make sure you are hungry though and not just bored or thirsty.

2. When you eat, eat what you want.
- not what you think you should be eating. Deprivation only creates obsession. (on a side note that is why women should be making men wait...if you get my meaning

)

3. Eat consciously, enjoying every mouthful.
- not in front of the TV or reading or otherwise distracted by outside influences. (I try to eat at the table and make eating almost ceremonial)

4. When you think your full, stop eating.
- don't worry about cleaning your plate, stop when you THINK your full and try to leave food on your plate. If your hungry again in 10 mins...start again at GR #1.

What I've noticed since I started doing this, besides weight loss, is that I don't crave the sugary/chocolatey treats (unles I'm PMSing) I've also noticed that this may seem simple but GR #3 is harder than you might think as I like to eat infront of the TV.

He has a book and cd for sale on amazon and a web site www.mckenna.com

I wish you and her luck.

 

[riderbecky]

Edit: Sorry double post.

 

[pdsavage]

She needs counceling,to get to the root of why she over eats.If she doesnt she will trade one addiction for another.
she also needs to change her life style not just eating better and execise.
before i quite smoking i changed how i ate and took up a new hobbies stuff like that...

 

[Buff Hooligans]

The emotional part of why we eat is the hardest part. If she somehow investigated herself in that regard, it would start things off right.

We all KNOW what we should be eating, and avoiding, but can we always make our ourselves do it? No. Emotional eating (or boredom eating) is a real problem that can be helped. Too bad she doesn't have health insurance that would cover some counseling.

Best of luck with your friend. What a long haul she has in front of her...

 

[shortcake1806]

Check out www.sparkpeople.com . It's a wonderful place for weightloss help and it's totally free.

 

[hencackle]

MSG (monosodium glutamate) is linked with obesity as is high fructose corn syrup. Both are cheap, that's why the food industry loves to use these. The first is a flavor enhancer and makes poor quality food taste wonderful and it also triggers overeating. MSG does NOT have to be listed on the label as such....it often shows up as "natural flavorings". The use of MSG and high fructose corn syrup has risen greatly since the 1970s and so has the obesity rate.

The best way to avoid MSG is prepare food from scratch, using products that are known to be MSG-free.
MSG info

Gastric bypass isn't the answer, IMO. I personally know of one woman that lost weight drastically, had to have painful surgeries to deal with the hanging skin on her belly, legs, and arms. She still had bad eating habits and is regaining the weight. My neighbor knows of 3 more people with the same situation. Gastric bypass is a bandaid solution and just plain dangerous.

Your friend is so lucky to have someone to care about her when most people are quick to ridicule.

 

[tabsmonsters]

Since noone has suggested Weight Watchers yet( at least I don't think they did!), I will. I think the program is great. It isn't a diet, but a lifestyle change. They have it now that you can do it online if there are no meetings near by or for those too embarrassed to go. I go to the meetings myself. While I have been a little overwhelmed since I joined WW 3 weeks ago, I am trying to stick with it. I agree with others that posted that she may need counseling since she is an emotional eater. She can do WW without excersizing(sp?) and still lose weight. It's a slow process but it works! I believe the message boards are free without joining so I invite her to check them out. I think its great that you have taken such an interest in helping her through this. It won't be easy, but the benefits are well worth it! Good luck to her and to you!
Tabby

 

[Hangin Wit My Peeps]

Well being overweight myself and havening been in her shoes when it came to friends wanting to help...sometimes you just have to let them be and just do what your doing. Be there for her and try to help her the best you can. If she isn't willing to work at it she may become distant from you so watch that. If she wants you around then she is prob doing ok. The thing I must mention is that she should not be taking any type of diet pills. Not being obese as those are NOT good for the heart at all. It may end up harming her in the long run. Encourage her to seek a doctor who specializes in weight loss. I have been told by my docs NO diet pills even if they are all natural! Only if it's supervised through them.