How do men do it????? But wait! There's more! Pg.3

[gritsar]

I take the worst teasing in the world from my DH. I am the only right-handed child of two left-handers and the things I do with a knife/scissors/screwdriver/other pointy or sharp object, scare the tar outta my husband. I can't walk and chew gum at the same time. We had to train our dog to help me up when I fall it happens so much. The way I dress to go out and care for my chickens is legendary.
I'm a constant source of amusement to my DH...and all the other officers when he tells the stories at work.

easttx, I'm fine. A little sore, but it'll pass.

 

[joebryant]

A man's job is to lie in and keep couches and recliners from flying away, not take care of some sick dog.

 

[kooltex]

My DH is the same way! Totally tunes out anything and everything!!!! Kinda scary when he suppose to be watching the 2 yo! Um humm

---Oh yeah, but he does notice if she is about to launch something at or strike the TV with something! That's Drama now,

 

[Royd]

Quote:
OK. This is one of my pet peeves, invented by women, to make women seem so extraordinary......THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS MULTITASKING....You can only do one thing at a time....Just because I have rice on the stove, laundry in the machine and sitting at the computer, thinking I'm special, I can only do one thing at a time.

Oh, contraire! I can brush my teeth while I comb my hair. I can stir two pots at once. I also do not feel the need to put my pants on one leg at a time. Both at the same time is faster.
And last, I can talk on the phone and do ANYTHING at the same time. (Ranchie will confirm!!)

And I can crack two eggs into the frying pan, at the same time.

 

[OrpingtonManor]

Quote:
Oh, contraire! I can brush my teeth while I comb my hair. I can stir two pots at once. I also do not feel the need to put my pants on one leg at a time. Both at the same time is faster.
And last, I can talk on the phone and do ANYTHING at the same time. (Ranchie will confirm!!)

And I can crack two eggs into the frying pan, at the same time.

me, too! (a sad testimony to my high school years spent working at McDonald's)

and, I can use a power drill in one hand and a power driver in the other.

now, if I could just find a third hand for holding the screw.

 

[OrpingtonManor]

Quote:
I was married to one of those once.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Oh, contraire! I can brush my teeth while I comb my hair. I can stir two pots at once. I also do not feel the need to put my pants on one leg at a time. Both at the same time is faster.
And last, I can talk on the phone and do ANYTHING at the same time. (Ranchie will confirm!!)

And I can crack two eggs into the frying pan, at the same time.

You win!

 

[chickaddict]

Quote:
The malady you are referring to is called "selective hearing"

This very common affliction affects adult males engrossed in any activity in which they do not wish to be interrupted.
Televised sporting events appear to be the number one cause of this medical event. In truly severe cases the subject does develop the ability to respond to the human voice.

DO NOT BE FOOLED

This is simply a defense mechanism of the disease. The disease will train the subject to respond with one word affirmative answers.
Okay - Yeah - and Sure are the top 3 responses. However your male may develop a response unique to himself.

VERY IMPORTANT!!!!!!!

The only sure way to know if your male is infected is to test the subject while the TV is on.

Asking an absurd question (Honey, can you please lick the dust of the cat?) or making an absurd statement (honey, I'll be in the Bahamas with the Mailman for a week, see you when I get back)
should elicit a response of shock. However if you receive any type of one word affirmative answer then he is infected.



--------This malady can also infect teenagers male and female--------------------


WARNING - THERE IS NO KNOWN CURE AT THIS TIME

The only way to know for sure that the subject has understood a word you have spoken is to maintain direct eye contact during the course of the entire conversation.
If you break direct eye contact at any point then you have lost him and must start over from the beginning.

KEEP YOUR SENTENCES SHORT AND SIMPLE - too many words can cause the infected to become aggravated and NEVER, NEVER NEVER attempt a conversation when his team is in the end zone.


Good Luck and may the force be with you

 

[michickenwrangler]

Quote:
Sounds like my husband!

 

[Junkmanme]

I used to tell my wife:

"Honey, I woulda done it IF I had heard your request."

She would have a fit. and I'd say:

"What did you say?"

(I also refuse to wear my hearing-aids.)

Ha-Ha !!!

-Junkmanme-