How Do You Get Through It?

[rodriguezpoultry]

OK. It's going to be my second Mother's Day without a mom. My mom died of pancreatic cancer two years ago on February 9, 2007, my junior year of college.

Does Mother's Day ever get any easier? How do you get through it without bawling all day? How do you get past the anger? The jealousy when you see people buying cards, when you're the one buying the floral arrangement for the gravesite?

Is there something I'm missing. I just spent 8 hours at Wal-Mart watching people with their moms, listening to them bicker. Girls coming in and asking what a mom would like for Mother's Day. How do you answer that?

Do you buy a card, presents, flowers for your grandma? The one who gave birth to your mom? What about her sister? Do you get something for her sister for Mother's Day?

Any insight is appreciated, because I'm looking at an another Mother's Day without my mom. Are there any others out there like me? How do you get past it?

 

[92caddy]

I feel ya and hear ya, this will be my 2nd one without mom and boy do I miss her. I planted/made a flower garden in her honor. I put all her favorit flowers and colors in it. I go out and sit there and think of her and remember all of the good and bad times we had together. Thats what has helped me.

 

[thechickenchick]

Oh you are not alone.

I am sorry for the loss of your Mom. Mine has been gone going on 8 years now. I can tell you although it does get a little easier, I still get jealous when I see Mothers and Daughters out for Mothers Day brunch, etc. Then there are the daughters who don't appreciate their Moms.

I was 30 when I lost both of my parents, I may as well have been 12! I felt like a lost child. I am lucky now to have a wonderful MIL that is alot like my own Mom. She also treats my son like her own Grandchild. My DH understands why I get a little weepy or sentimental on Mothers Day, Fathers day......

Hang in there. Use your happy memories to get you through. My DH and I got married on my Moms Birthday. It made that day extra special and I felt like in a way I was honoring her and she was there.

 

[Mahonri]

I think you've done all of us who has a mother that is still alive a big favor.

Obviously, you really loved your mom. She is aware of that from the other side, don't forget that!

 

[redhen]

 

[Chicky Tocks]

I still have my mom. But I saw the pain that she went through when she lost hers. It's not a pain that goes away in any certain amount of time. You will always miss her.

One thing you can do for Mother's Day would be to sit down and create a scrapbook of your life with her. Remember her. Appreciate the time you had with her and consider that she very well could be looking down and worried that you're grief is causing you pain. You can still talk to her. Let her voice that only you know come into your mind and speak.

I'm sorry hon. It's hard, I know. I don't look forward to the day that I will inevitably lose my mom. I know it's going to hurt like hell. Keep her in your heart and always remember and eventually those memories will make you smile.

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

I am so sorry for your loss. I was also 30 when I lost my mom suddenly only two years after my father died.

Like the chickenchick it doesn't really matter how old you are. I still hurt that she never met my husband or got to cry at my wedding or meet my babies.

But, I believe she has. I think it gets better simply as time goes by and you get less angry. I was angry with my mother for not taking better care of herself.

It takes time to learn to forgive them for leaving us. I am sorry that you find mother's day so hard.

 

[gritsar]

First this

My Mom has been gone 16 years. I still miss her, but the pain is not as sharp.
I know you and I know your Mom is looking down on you with love and pride. Take comfort in that.

 

[TriciaHowe]

I am so sorry for your loss.
My husbands mom passed 4 yrs ago from breast cancer. She wasn't just my MIL she was one of my best friends. I peronally haven't found it to get any easier...... time may heal all wounds but I still miss her everyday.

 

[Robin'sBrood]

Quote:
I still have my mother but DH lost his to cancer 11 and a half years ago. It was very fast and a huge shock to us. Big

to you.