How Do You Get Through It?

[FrenchHen]

I don't know who you might invite, but there is a long lost tradition of a "memorial meal" where you and others gather to share a meal and remember the person you love. I'd say loved, but you still love her. It's a way to celebrate her life among people who held her dear.

As for the stepmom thing, that will always be weird. I dearly love my stepmother, but occasional weirdnesses still pop up. Hallmark doesn't make a "You're a really nice lady, and I'm glad you make my dad happy, but you're not my mom, so happy Mother's Day??" card.

They do make a generic one that doesn't use any variation of the word "mom." If it's not too hard, give her a card focusing on the fact that you're happy she's with your dad.

Good luck, family stuff can be hard to navigate.

 

[New adventure]

I lost my mom 5 years ago, and still miss her so much. It helps to talk about her to my daughters and granddaughter (who only met her once when 3 months old) and my sisters. I'm lucky to have a great MIL so we spend time together, and I have plants in my garden that she loved.

One thing you might consider doing is taking a few flowers or something to a local nursing home and visit the moms there that might not have family close by.

Hugs to you, keep the memories alive. Elaine

 

[HennysMom]

to you sweetie. I still have Mom, but I lost her for over a year and a half due to stupidity on both our parts - as well as I lost my dad during that time - we all stopped talking, dumbest thing ever and all of our one regret in life as it wasnt until Dad was diagnosed with cancer that it made us all see just how precious life really is. I only got to spend 2 months with my dad before he passed away - and tried making up for lost time during those 2 months of the rest of his life, so I can relate in that aspect to what you're going through. Not a day goes by I dont miss my dad, not one - Thursday last week was 9 months that he's been gone, and it hasnt gotten any easier, it seems to be getting harder as time goes by I think.

It will get easier, I know...eventually. DH lost his dad a bit over 3 years ago and, I know it gets easier....but it doesnt mean we will miss them any less or love them any less.

For Fathers Day (which happens to be either the day before or on my Dad's birthday every year) - we plan on releasing balloons with little notes attached to each.... messages for Daddy we call them. And then - up they go..... symbolic, yes, but will it help? Yes it will. It will help me, Mom, my kids....and I cannot wait to see 70 red balloons fly up into the sky as thats how old he would have been in June. Of course, we'll have to do it someplace where no one is watching

as I"m sure its against the law..but...I dont think God will mind me breaking this one even if the EPA or police do. I'll gladly go to jail or pay a fine for this...

Peace and prayers be with you sweetie - your Mom is still with you and can and hear you, so talk to her when you're lonely. She's listening

- and she'll always be your Mom, always.

 

[thechickenchick]

Quote:
I found this interesting! My Dads birthday was the 17th. Is that the same as your Dads? Coincidentally it was my Dads birthday when my parents both died in an accident. So Fathers Day is sort of a triple whammy for me

. Hugs to all of you

.

 

[HennysMom]

Quote:
Dad's bday is 20 June - many years Fathers Day and his birthday have fallen on the same day over the years.

This year they will be a day apart.. next year.. I think they'll be on the same day again.

I'm so sorry about your parents...