YELLOW URKA-GURKA
Dog runs around the house and hides under furniture while making a prolonged uuuuurka-guuuuurka, uuurka-guurka noise. (This noise is the only thing guaranteed to wake up a true dog lover who is hung over from a post dog-show celebration at 3:30 a.m.) After mad scrambling to capture the dog and drag him outside, the episode ends with an inaudible ten yard slimy yellow froth from the living room rug to the back door.
BLAP DISEASE
Dog exercises hard and (a) eats large mouthfuls of snow (winter Blap Disease) or (b) drinks a bucket of water (Summer Blap Disease). Within two minutes of returning inside, the dog spews out large amounts of clear slimy liquid while making a distinctive blap sound and a sharp percussive noise as it hits the linoleum.
GARKS
Dog suddenly clears his throat with loud and dramatic gggaark, gggark noises generally followed by prolonged iiiksss and then loud satisfied smacking noises. There is nothing on the rug. Dont investigate, you dont want to know.
RALFS
Apropos of nothing, the dog strolls into the dining room and waits till the innocent dinner guests are all watching him. Then, with a single deep gut wrenching raaaalff dislodges the entire weeks contents of his stomach on the dining room rug.
Variation: Then he eats it.
In all the above events the dog is entirely healthy and indeed deeply pleased with himself.
Dog runs around the house and hides under furniture while making a prolonged uuuuurka-guuuuurka, uuurka-guurka noise. (This noise is the only thing guaranteed to wake up a true dog lover who is hung over from a post dog-show celebration at 3:30 a.m.) After mad scrambling to capture the dog and drag him outside, the episode ends with an inaudible ten yard slimy yellow froth from the living room rug to the back door.
BLAP DISEASE
Dog exercises hard and (a) eats large mouthfuls of snow (winter Blap Disease) or (b) drinks a bucket of water (Summer Blap Disease). Within two minutes of returning inside, the dog spews out large amounts of clear slimy liquid while making a distinctive blap sound and a sharp percussive noise as it hits the linoleum.
GARKS
Dog suddenly clears his throat with loud and dramatic gggaark, gggark noises generally followed by prolonged iiiksss and then loud satisfied smacking noises. There is nothing on the rug. Dont investigate, you dont want to know.
RALFS
Apropos of nothing, the dog strolls into the dining room and waits till the innocent dinner guests are all watching him. Then, with a single deep gut wrenching raaaalff dislodges the entire weeks contents of his stomach on the dining room rug.
Variation: Then he eats it.
In all the above events the dog is entirely healthy and indeed deeply pleased with himself.
