How I butchered my first chicken

Skip

Songster
11 Years
Nov 23, 2008
300
2
129
In the middle of it all
I just have to tell you!

My ol' roo, Skip (hence my username) was an Ancona. He was calm and gentle. Until I had to keep him confined for the winter.

Then he lost his mind.

I introduced three new birds and he attacked them. Viciously. They still have the scars. Anyway, I had to wait until they all got up to roost before trying to catch Skip, because he was so darn fast. They were all on the roost, and I made a grab for Skip's legs. Caught him! He made quite a fuss, flapping his wings furiously, crowing his head off.

I tried to move him into a new enclosure, but he escaped, and started tormenting our other roosters. I couldn't catch Skip again, so I put out a bowl of water and waited. And waited.

Skip lounged around all day, running in circles, until he finally went to the water bowl. I was ready with a shotgun. A clean head shot, I'm very proud of myself. I caught him, slit his throat, bled him out, and brought him in to scald.

After he was scalded and plucked (it was amazing how skinny he was without the feathers. I expect it was because he was an Ancona.) I carefully took out the crop and windpipe, cut off the head and feet and the oil gland. I made the eviscerating cut, and started pulling out the innards. I was amazed I wasn't disgusted. It seemed perfectly natural to me. I broke a lung by accident, but everything else went fine, save one thing:

The airway still worked after I was dead, so if I pushed down hard on little Skip's chest, he would squeak! I thought that was hilarious.

Had him for dinner later that night. The smell of rooster was still all over him, and after spending two hours in cold, 40 degree, wet-handed hell, I wasn't very keen on sticking some of that strong-smelling meat in my mouth. But I did it, and it was DELICIOUS!

Best chicken I ever ate, and it wasn't even the best it could be. I think slaving away for the two hours in cold, pouring rain made it taste even better.

~Skip
 
Quote:
This IS hilarious, in a sick demented sort of way, a humor I certainly can appreciate!!
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You will have to find a new handle now, since your name sake was, well... um... eaten (she whispers with a chuckle)
 
To Apopka Cluckers:

Go for it! Your taste buds will thank you!

To Laskaland:

Oh my gosh, I didn't even NOTICE I wrote 'After I was dead'. That's hilarious!
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To tackyrama:

Thanks!

PS: I did two more birds today, Stewie and Curby. It's gotten so much easier, but I left Stewie's lungs in by accident.
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