How is it "weird" when the girl is older in relationships?

[njduck]

Quote:
I want to be that 70 y/o man. What better way to go then have a heart attack with a young hottie by your side, even if she just wants the money. I would be dead and wouldn't need it

 

[Criskin]

I read somewhere that this mindset is a remnant of past patriarchal societies. For a big chunck of recorded history, women were seen primarily as breeding stock. In an age of high infant mortality, the more childbearing years a woman had, the better chance she could provide her husband with a living male heir. Therefore the younger the woman, the more desirable her marriage prospects. A man could have children into his old age so it wasn't unusual for him to marry a much younger woman but a woman's chances at reproduction were limited so people tended to view the marriage of an older woman to a younger man as unnatural (unless there was money involved). The theory is that even though our modern society places less importance on childbearing, there is still that little thought secretly hidden in our brain which affects the way we look at couples who have an age gap, especially if the woman is the eldest.

That being said, my husband is 3 years younger than I am. It didn't bother me until I hit 30 and now he still claims to be in the middle of his 20s unlike "the old woman".

 

[watchdogps]

I am three years older than my husband. We started dating when I was 22and he was 19. There have been challenges, but I think it is more due to not having had the same level of life learning than age, per se. I had had serious relationships already, he had not. Believe me, its been rough at times.
On the other hand, a lot of issues have been because of his alcoholism and the things that come along with that. I doubt a younger woman could have dealt with it.
I think age is probably more an issue at that young twenties time though, than later when you have lived a little longer. Whatevr it is, being similar in life experiences is more important than being close in age.

 

[sourland]

Quote:
I want to be that 70 y/o man. What better way to go then have a heart attack with a young hottie by your side, even if she just wants the money. I would be dead and wouldn't need it

Sounds good to me. I meet the 70 year old status, but the Princess would whip the tar out of me.

 

[bgelber]

Quote:
I want to be that 70 y/o man. What better way to go then have a heart attack with a young hottie by your side, even if she just wants the money. I would be dead and wouldn't need it

Sounds good to me. I meet the 70 year old status, but the Princess would whip the tar out of me.

I want front row seats for that.

My husband is three years older than me..when I turned 40 I ask him if he wanted to trade me in for two 20 yr olds. His answer was "h*ll no I can't keep up with you much less a 20 yr old. "

 

[punk-a-doodle]

If you are a young woman dating an older man, you are a gold digger. If you are an older woman dating a younger man, you are predatory. If you are a dude doing the same thing, you are generally considered 'lucky' if dating a younger woman or tricked into it if dating an older woman. And we all know that any woman is 'asking for it' to begin with. Ah, culture.

There is also an idea that young men need to play and "sew their wild oats" before settling down, where as women should go straight from courtship to marriage. That means that a younger woman dating an older man is acceptable, and getting that financial and physical male protective 'security' that she apparently needs to survive in return, but adds to the idea that a younger man dating an older woman is having something taken from him.

A single woman is sad and lonely. A single man is living the life, yes?

There's the idea that women are mainly around for child bearing (hence, younger woman=good), that younger men are more immature, that men should provide for the family and that an older woman won't be able to do that, etc, etc. Basically, the discomfort around it reminds me of the same sort that dictates that "women shouldn't be allowed in combat because men don't want to see them hurt".

Oo, then there is also the idea that two men in a relationship are gay, but that two women in a relationship are 'confused' and 'in need of a man/are man-haters" as women 'can't really be gay'.

Basically, I let myself and the person I am with dictate the relationship, because culture is a really poor match maker.

 

[nuchickontheblock]

My DH is 6 years younger than me and we have been together for 20 years. Now that I am hitting the retirement age, he still tells me I'm "a babe". I'm just glad that "babeness" is in the eye of the beholder.

 

[Iowa Roo Mom]

SO and I are two years apart, and I am the elder in the relationship.

I agree with Debit, the only time it really becomes an issue is when he makes "old lady" cracks at me when our birthdays roll around, and for the 2 months that I am actually 3 years older than him. His father doesn't help any, he is 9 months younger than his mother and he is always telling her that she "robbed the cradle".

Oh well, some things never change I 'spose.