How soon is too soon to date?

[ams3651]

can you get a legal separation? The first 2 years I was with my ex he was still married but legally separated, they both were too busy arguing to finalize the divorce. If you can do that it leaves an opening for you to move on but if not, I agree, it could be used against you. Especially considering hes in the military.

 

[Ridgerunner]

I'll weigh in with SpeckledHen, Opa, and Miss Prissy. If there are kids involved, you need to stay squeaky clean until everything is final. You are putting yourself and the kids future at risk if you don't. Alimony, child support, custody, visitation rights. These are all unsettled now.

 

[DAFox]

Is it too difficult to get the divorce process going while he is overseas?
I agree with the posters who said wait until it is final. Even if you think that your husband would be ok with it, the second he talks to his buddies, his family, his lawyer all that could change. And if it got messy, the judge could cause problems.
Dale-Ann

 

[Mahonri]

Quote:
My thoughts exactly.

No dating until the decree is final.

You MUST protect yourself and your children.

 

[Knight Hawk Ranch]

I would wait also. No point in inviting trouble.

 

[deb1]

I understand wanting to move on and find someone else but you need to protect yourself for your kids. Talk to a lawyer, you might be able to start the process now.

Once you are legally seperated then dating shouldn't be a problem.

 

[redhen]

If you can get a legal seperation while hes still over there then i'd go for it. After your legally seperated, then i see no problem with dating.

 

[sonew123]

Quote:
I agree with Redhen-once the seperation is final-which shouldnt be a problem because you have not physically lived together in 5 years-then date. Just make sure that you two have not had um any "hook-ups" with eachother within a year-that would constitute you two still being married and might lead to a abandonment issue. If you can prove to have lived seperate lives in different places by choice on both parts-not just being seprated by him being over seas...then go for it-once the pseration is legal.

 

[Opa]

While Redhen is correct in suggesting a legal separation, it will not prevent your conduct from being an issue with the ex. It could create more problems than you could imagine. Alot of divorces start out amicably enough, very few end that way. Once his friends and family weigh in with their advice and perhaps his own ego sits in things will change. Staying aboved reproach now will eliminate problems in the future.

 

[FarmerChick]

Date out in the open.

Yes you can. 5 years alone and divorce is coming, and you know he won't fight for custody of the kids, then definitely date out in the open.

Like you I don't hide and if it is final and done, move forward. You do not have to sneak. You do not have to wait now. Women are allowed in this day and age to move forward and fine happiness. Get out there and live!!! The divorce on paper is not going to make a difference that I can see since you know your own issues in the divorce at this point.

Live your life and move forward......best of luck to you!