How
> the Fight Started...
>
> ************************************************************
> One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a
> cemetery plot as
> a
> Christmas gift. The next year, he didn't buy her a
> gift. When she asked
> him
> why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the
> gift I bought you
> last
> year!"
> And that's how the fight started...
> ************************************************************
> My wife walked into the den & asked "What's on
> the TV?" I replied
> "Dust".
> And that's how the fight started...
> ************************************************************
> A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
> She is not
> happy
> with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel
> horrible; I look
> old, fat
> and ugly. I really need you to pay me a
> compliment."
> The husband replies, "Your eyesight's darn near
> perfect."
> And that's how the fight started...
> ************************************************************
> My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
> anniversary.
> She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to
> 200 in about 3
> seconds."
> I bought her a scale.
> And that's how the fight started...
> ************************************************************
> I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our
> anniversary?"
> It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet
> appreciation.
> "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"
> she said.
> So I replied, "How about the kitchen?"
> And that's when the fight started...
> ************************************************************
> My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
> while we were
> in
> bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have
> sex?"
> "No," she
> answered.
> I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
> She didn't even look at me this time, simply said,
> "Yes."
> So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a
> friend."
> And that's when the fight started....
> ************************************************************
> When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take
> her someplace
> expensive. So, I took her to a gas station.
> And that's when the fight started....
> ************************************************************
> I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light
> for $14.95.
> Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I
> told her the beer
> would
> make her look better at night than the cold cream.
> And that's when the fight started....
> ************************************************************
> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
> reunion, and I
> kept
> staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat
> alone at
> a
> nearby
> table.
> My wife asked, "Do you know her?"
> "Yes," I sighed, "She's my old
> girlfriend. I understand she took to
> drinking
> right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear
> she hasn't been
> sober since."
> "My God!" says my wife. "Who would think a
> person could go on
> celebrating
> that long?"
> And that's when the fight started....
> **************************************************************
> I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were
> alongside the road
> and
> slowly the other driver got out of his car.
> You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and
> little things
> just
> seem funny?
> Yeah, well I couldn't believe it. He was a DWARF!
> He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
> "I AM NOT
> HAPPY!"
> So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which
> one are you?"
> And that's when the fight
> started...
> ************************************************************
> I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
> reason, took my
> order
> first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare,
> please."
> He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad
> cow?"
> "Nah, she can order for herself."
> And that's when the fight
> started...
> the Fight Started...
>
> ************************************************************
> One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a
> cemetery plot as
> a
> Christmas gift. The next year, he didn't buy her a
> gift. When she asked
> him
> why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the
> gift I bought you
> last
> year!"
> And that's how the fight started...
> ************************************************************
> My wife walked into the den & asked "What's on
> the TV?" I replied
> "Dust".
> And that's how the fight started...
> ************************************************************
> A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
> She is not
> happy
> with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel
> horrible; I look
> old, fat
> and ugly. I really need you to pay me a
> compliment."
> The husband replies, "Your eyesight's darn near
> perfect."
> And that's how the fight started...
> ************************************************************
> My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
> anniversary.
> She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to
> 200 in about 3
> seconds."
> I bought her a scale.
> And that's how the fight started...
> ************************************************************
> I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our
> anniversary?"
> It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet
> appreciation.
> "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"
> she said.
> So I replied, "How about the kitchen?"
> And that's when the fight started...
> ************************************************************
> My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
> while we were
> in
> bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have
> sex?"
> "No," she
> answered.
> I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
> She didn't even look at me this time, simply said,
> "Yes."
> So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a
> friend."
> And that's when the fight started....
> ************************************************************
> When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take
> her someplace
> expensive. So, I took her to a gas station.
> And that's when the fight started....
> ************************************************************
> I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light
> for $14.95.
> Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I
> told her the beer
> would
> make her look better at night than the cold cream.
> And that's when the fight started....
> ************************************************************
> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
> reunion, and I
> kept
> staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat
> alone at
> a
> nearby
> table.
> My wife asked, "Do you know her?"
> "Yes," I sighed, "She's my old
> girlfriend. I understand she took to
> drinking
> right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear
> she hasn't been
> sober since."
> "My God!" says my wife. "Who would think a
> person could go on
> celebrating
> that long?"
> And that's when the fight started....
> **************************************************************
> I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were
> alongside the road
> and
> slowly the other driver got out of his car.
> You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and
> little things
> just
> seem funny?
> Yeah, well I couldn't believe it. He was a DWARF!
> He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
> "I AM NOT
> HAPPY!"
> So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which
> one are you?"
> And that's when the fight
> started...
> ************************************************************
> I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
> reason, took my
> order
> first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare,
> please."
> He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad
> cow?"
> "Nah, she can order for herself."
> And that's when the fight
> started...
