How to deal with grief? Chicken loss

[mschickiemama]

Hi,
Does anyone have tips for loss of pet chickens and the grief and guilt? One of my chickens died about 3 years ago, and I still have unresolved grief and guilt over it. I feel like I failed her.

So basically she was having a diarrhea problem for a while. I was away from home for some work so family members took care of the chickens. One day I drove down to visit & she had flystrike. It was horrible, and I never had this happen before. I bathed her and put her back outside (looking back I really should have put her in the house to protect her from flies (but I think my mom also said she didn't want her in the house?)). So inevitably she got flystrike again. I drove down to visit, bathed her, she was really weak. I remember I was holding her crying and went in the living room to ask my mom what to do. She was watching a TV show and annoyed by me interrupting I guess. She just said "She's just a chicken" or something. And she didn't want her coming in the house to be bathed anymore. So I bathed her outside in a little garden container. She was so weak & I knew she was going to die. I thought about "putting her out of her misery" but never did that before & I didn't know how. Plus she was my friend. I couldn't stop crying. I laid her in the chicken coop & she died that night...

I don't know how to get over this. It's one of the worst things that ever happened with a pet & I feel like I really failed her. Plus I'm angry at my mom too. "Just a chicken" ? Maybe in her eyes, but she was my friend truly. But I know not everyone is close to chickens I guess. I felt so alone & didn't know what to do...And then I had to drive back to my work...I was in panic mode and handled everything poorly. I failed her & I hate knowing she was in pain. I was her chicken owner and like her "mommy" and I let her suffer...

Well I actually feel better writing it all out. But it also still doesn't change what happened..

 

[Chicken_newbe]

Sadly losing a pet is the hardest part of owning one. It's inevitable but still so hard. You become attached whether it be a dog, cat, chicken, whatever. And seeing them sick and unable to help is an incredibly disheartening feeling. I've been having a lot of things with pets and humans going on lately and when things are out of your control all you can do is dwell on "what can I do/what could I have done". And when that pet passes, now you can dwell on "I should have done ....". Or instead, just know you did what you could at that time and know what needs to be done if it happens again. I'm so sorry for the loss of your chicken, It sounds like you really cared for her and gave her more love while she was alive than many chickens ever get.

 

[Chelseyb123]

Things happen. I had to put down one of my pet hens yesterday I should of done it sooner. She had been in my basement recovering for an
Month from frozen poop in an out of her vent. She lost the ablilty to push out her waste normally. it just kept building up an crusting over and making it harder an harder for her to go. I cant clean her vent all day long an everytime she would never be able to return to the or even lay eggs. But I personally did not want to be the one to out her down.but it needed to be done an no one else would do it for me. Its hard losing a pet.you did your best. Maybe you could of done more but who knows. Just remember you gave her a good life while she was alive before dying anx at least you cleaned her up an took care of her when she got hurt. Just Think about the positive an try moving on from this there's nothing you can do now other than beat yourself up over it.

 

[alexa009]

I had a production red who was my favorite chicken of them all and then one time she had went into the coop to lay a egg when it was over 100 degrees outside and me and my sisters were swimming then I got out and went into the coop and she was laying down dying. Me and my sister tried to help her by taking her in a cool garage with a fan but she passed away. I felt so bad for a week thinking it was my fault she died I should of watched her in the coop like I always did with my other chickens. Then I eventually got over thinking that it happens. I also felt better when the same thing happened to my buff orpington and we saved her. Things like that happen to chickens, It is a normal thing that happens once in awhile in a backyard flock. The best thing to do is take your mind off it and spend time with your other birds.

 

[mschickiemama]

Sadly losing a pet is the hardest part of owning one. It's inevitable but still so hard. You become attached whether it be a dog, cat, chicken, whatever. And seeing them sick and unable to help is an incredibly disheartening feeling. I've been having a lot of things with pets and humans going on lately and when things are out of your control all you can do is dwell on "what can I do/what could I have done". And when that pet passes, now you can dwell on "I should have done ....". Or instead, just know you did what you could at that time and know what needs to be done if it happens again. I'm so sorry for the loss of your chicken, It sounds like you really cared for her and gave her more love while she was alive than many chickens ever get.

Thanks & you're right. I did love her a lot! Just so hard thinking about how I could've done things different to lessen her suffering. Looking back I feel like I was so dumb the way I handled it. I should've kept her in my room or something since she wasn't feeling well (but I think maybe I wasn't allowed to have her in the house?) I have all these cute pictures of her from past happy times & when I see them I feel so much guilt. I hope the pets and humans in your life are doing better.

 

[mschickiemama]

I had a production red who was my favorite chicken of them all and then one time she had went into the coop to lay a egg when it was over 100 degrees outside and me and my sisters were swimming then I got out and went into the coop and she was laying down dying. Me and my sister tried to help her by taking her in a cool garage with a fan but she passed away. I felt so bad for a week thinking it was my fault she died I should of watched her in the coop like I always did with my other chickens. Then I eventually got over thinking that it happens. I also felt better when the same thing happened to my buff orpington and we saved her. Things like that happen to chickens, It is a normal thing that happens once in awhile in a backyard flock. The best thing to do is take your mind off it and spend time with your other birds.

Sorry for your loss. You're right. Spending time with the other birds helps. Lots of animals to love on..

 

[mschickiemama]

Things happen. I had to put down one of my pet hens yesterday I should of done it sooner. She had been in my basement recovering for an
Month from frozen poop in an out of her vent. She lost the ablilty to push out her waste normally. it just kept building up an crusting over and making it harder an harder for her to go. I cant clean her vent all day long an everytime she would never be able to return to the or even lay eggs. But I personally did not want to be the one to out her down.but it needed to be done an no one else would do it for me. Its hard losing a pet.you did your best. Maybe you could of done more but who knows. Just remember you gave her a good life while she was alive before dying anx at least you cleaned her up an took care of her when she got hurt. Just Think about the positive an try moving on from this there's nothing you can do now other than beat yourself up over it.

That sounds horrible! She was lucky to have you to care for her. Putting pets down is a tough decision (I actually had a chicken put down recently and cried so much). But now she's not suffering which is good. Yeah, I did give her a good life & most of it was happy times so I guess I gotta just focus on that. And you're right---maybe I could've done more, but who knows? I try to remember that

 

[mschickiemama]

Thanks all for the support. It's nice to connect with other chicken people

 

[featherhead007]

Hi,
Does anyone have tips for loss of pet chickens and the grief and guilt? One of my chickens died about 3 years ago, and I still have unresolved grief and guilt over it. I feel like I failed her.

So basically she was having a diarrhea problem for a while. I was away from home for some work so family members took care of the chickens. One day I drove down to visit & she had flystrike. It was horrible, and I never had this happen before. I bathed her and put her back outside (looking back I really should have put her in the house to protect her from flies (but I think my mom also said she didn't want her in the house?)). So inevitably she got flystrike again. I drove down to visit, bathed her, she was really weak. I remember I was holding her crying and went in the living room to ask my mom what to do. She was watching a TV show and annoyed by me interrupting I guess. She just said "She's just a chicken" or something. And she didn't want her coming in the house to be bathed anymore. So I bathed her outside in a little garden container. She was so weak & I knew she was going to die. I thought about "putting her out of her misery" but never did that before & I didn't know how. Plus she was my friend. I couldn't stop crying. I laid her in the chicken coop & she died that night...

I don't know how to get over this. It's one of the worst things that ever happened with a pet & I feel like I really failed her. Plus I'm angry at my mom too. "Just a chicken" ? Maybe in her eyes, but she was my friend truly. But I know not everyone is close to chickens I guess. I felt so alone & didn't know what to do...And then I had to drive back to my work...I was in panic mode and handled everything poorly. I failed her & I hate knowing she was in pain. I was her chicken owner and like her "mommy" and I let her suffer...

Well I actually feel better writing it all out. But it also still doesn't change what happened..

Who says you have to get over it? That bird was a friend.. I lost several from my flock, had to give some away and my prize rooster was killed by a neighbor because peeps "his name" got loose and attacked the guy. I dont get over it! After 1 year I still feel the loss of my beloved birds. :-(

 

[TikiMyn]

I am So sorry! It’s horrible to loose a friend!
I find that in the beginning, grief hits me hard. There is so much sadness and guilt because I always feel I didn’t do enough. But then, in time I start to remember more of the happy times. Grief still comes in waves, but it becomes easier, I promise