How to take a shower

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by JennsPeeps, Apr 1, 2009.

  1. JennsPeeps

    JennsPeeps Rhymes with 'henn'

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    Jun 14, 2008
    South Puget Sound
    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

    Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

    Walk to bathroom wearing long robe. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

    Get in the shower. Use wash cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

    Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

    Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

    Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner

    Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

    Rinse conditioner off hair.

    Shave armpits and legs.

    Rinse off.

    Turn off shower

    Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

    Spray mold spots with Tilex.

    Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.

    Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

    Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head.

    If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

    Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

    Walk naked to the bathroom.

    If you see wife along the way, shake at her while making the woo-woo sound.

    Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

    Admire yourself and scratch your butt.

    Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

    Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

    Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

    Leave coarse hairs stuck on the soap.

    Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

    Pee.

    Rinse off and get out of shower.

    Partially dry off.

    Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

    Admire self in mirror again.

    Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, and light and fan on.

    Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

    If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake at her and make the woo-woo sound again.

    Throw wet towel on bed.
     
  2. sparkles2307

    sparkles2307 Terd of Hurtles

    I have always LOVED that one...it reminds me of my house lol
     
  3. Happy Chicken Mama

    Happy Chicken Mama Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Can't breatthe... too funny... oh so true!
     
  4. TheOLDNewChick

    TheOLDNewChick I'm an original

    Jun 12, 2007
    Tioga, Louisiana
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
  5. new-roo

    new-roo Scrambled

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    Oct 19, 2007
    [​IMG]
     
  6. Colored Egg Farmer

    Colored Egg Farmer Chicken overload

    [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  7. Highlander

    Highlander Tartan Terror

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    Oct 1, 2008
    Prague
    that's great! so true! [​IMG]
     
  8. Duncan

    Duncan Out Of The Brooder

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    Mar 12, 2009
    Duncan, SC
    WooWoo!
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2009
  9. HarlansHollowFarms

    HarlansHollowFarms bana-bhuidseach anns gára

    Jan 16, 2009
    good one [​IMG]
     
  10. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    that is funny, but neither one of them ever turned ON the water!!! [​IMG]
     

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