How to waste half an hour

PotterWatch

My Patronus is a Chicken
11 Years
Apr 22, 2008
5,470
33
288
Virginia
Do you often find yourself with extra time on your hands? Have no fear! With the patented PotterWatch system, you too can waste countless hours in a fruitless attempt to get your chicks back into their brooder. Just follow these 14 easy steps:

1. Decide that it is such a nice day outside that it's a shame for your chicks to be cooped up in their brooders.

2. Open the brooder (make sure it is just a smidge too tall for you to easily reach your chicks, thereby requiring you to climb up into the top brooder section to catch some of them.

3. Allow yourself to be pecked repeatedly by a bad-tempered broiler.

4. Deposit the chicks into a rubbermaid container. Make certain that several of them try to fly out before you manage to get them all in.

5. Take the container to the grass and let the chicks go.

6. Repeat steps 2-5 with remaining brooders.

7. Spend some pleasureable time watching the chicks frolic in the grass, scratch in the dirt, and catch bugs.

8. Realize that since you are home alone, catching all of the chicks might prove difficult, you had better get an early start if you want them put away again before dinner.

9. *This step is best acomplished if you have a garden fence built that is too tall for you to reach over, but has just enough space in between the posts for the chicks to squeeze through.

Attempt to catch your chicks. You might wish to use a variety of tools such as the lid to the aforemention rubbermaid container, a child's sand shovel, a door that has been used as a play thing by some baby goats, and a variety of bad words. Due to the construction of your garden fence, as you approach the chicks, they will pretend to cooperate until you get almost close enough to grab them. They will then slip through the fence requiring you to walk to the gate and attempt capture again on the other side of the fence. Repeat this step many, many times for at least 20 minuets.

10. Realize that your attempts at capture are looking increasingly like Wile E. Coyote trying to catch the roadrunner. Start trying to block off the fence with anything you have handy, the door, some hay, the dog, etc.

11. After almost 30mins of this back and forth action, take a break, get some water, and regroup.

12. Use a piece of welded wire fencing to keep the chicks in one area. To get them into that area however, you need to somehow herd them under the milking stand, behind the bicycles, and back through the fence. You may want to stretch before attempting this step.

13. Finally acheive success and get all chicks captured and back into their respective brooders.

14. Go inside, fall on the couch and take a nap. You deserve it!
 

PotterWatch

My Patronus is a Chicken
11 Years
Apr 22, 2008
5,470
33
288
Virginia
No way! Far too hot out to be chasing chicks all over. Next time I let them out to roam free, it will be when the kids are home to chase them for me.
 

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