How unacceptable is it? Opinions

[Cassandra]

Me too. there are some folks in my family that I can't see do without, but I never loan them money. On the rare occasion that one would ask, I'd only give it to them if I could afford to not get it back. If I didn't have it to give, I'd just offer to let 'em eat with us or whatever I could do to help, y'know.

If it was someone else? Well, if I wouldn't just give it to them, I darn sure wouldn't loan it to them.

Having said that, I recently "loaned" one of them a couple hundred dollars and got it back pretty quick. (Though not as quick as she said she would.) But whenever she would call to say "I haven't forgotten. I am gonna send you that money back." I always just said, "I know you will send it when you can."


Cassandra

 

[shareneh]

You got of cheap! Now you never have to borrow them money again, even if they pay you back.

 

[BethinIrving]

I don't loan money. I give money. And food from my storage if they need that as well. And the use of our extra car if they need that.

If a friend or family member has financial difficulties, they need help -- not besmirching.

We are not a bank or lending instution. We are all fellow humanbeings all floating through space on the same hostile planet, trying to stay to the path.

If you feel a weight upon your shoulders after you have helped someone else, that weight you feel is exactly what you've lifted from them. Many times they've been carrying that weight a long time.

Unfortunately we live in a society that even judges the worth of a human in terms of dollars. People are priceless. Money is not.

The next time someone says "I'll pay you on payday". Tell them it's a gift.

The day will come at some point in your life, when you will need something and it will require the loving kindness of another person to provide it to you.

Let's hope they don't put chains of conditions on that help you've received, or view you later as some sort of looser.

We all walk the same planet, we all breathe the same air...

 

[Poohbear]

I've got one rule about loaning money. DON'T!! Relatives know I don't spend much but when they ask for money I tell them mine is all in cd's in the bank and I can't get to it. I don't ever let more than 10.00 show in my billfold and when they ask, I'll take out the money I have in my wallet and say "Will this help"? They always tell me that's not enough and I just put my money back and say "sorry".

 

[rubyv67]

I have a family member who has 2 1/2 times the income coming in their house. I have a child on disability. No car and still pay them to come take me shopping once a month. I learned the hard way about tools. And without trying to sound overly religous, I got to where if I do anything as "done unto the Lord" it doesn't fuel my short temper when I don't get it back. I'm really sorry for your situation, don't let it ruin a family relationship.

 

[CountryMom]

We don't loan money, but when asked we say I will gladly pay you for your time to help me out here by working on the ranch. My hubby's cousin is one example who is down and out right now. He is happily building my pens I desperately need and I am happily paying him for his hard work. We also gave him a deer this season for meat for him and his family. We have also been supplying them with a fair amount of eggs.

I would rather do something for a family member or friend than just give cash. Point of our cell phones. I have a cousin who is back in school and struggling. Thus we have a cell phone extra we gave to her since she is having trouble even making rent. One less utility for her to worry about with the phone. Only time she has gone over minutes was when her Mama died. She called and offered to pay the extra, but we knew it would be too hard on her. And it wasn't like an average situation with her Mom passing and all the calls that needed.

 

[ChickaD]

Sad to say, with some people, lending or giving them money winds up enabling them to continue whatever behavior or decisions led to their dependency on you in the first place. It just perpetuates the problem, although your intentions are good. Of course, there are exceptions to this, but if the problem tends to recur, well then...you need to be the one to change the pattern.

 

[ams3651]

I try my hardest not to borrow money because I know if I dont have it now I wont have it later. My father "loaned" me a couple hundred $ when I got my van, I was short for a little. I paid him back part of it but its been 1 1/2 years. Before that I was driving his truck for nearly 2 years after my car craped out. I havent got a Christmas present from him in all this time and I kind of dont expect it either. I know he knew he'd be lucky to get it back, same with my mom, I borrow from her from my next tax return. Its deposited into her account and she takes what I owe. They were in my same financial situation when they were my age.

But there is the thing with my best friend, we just have an average of $20 going back and forth and no one keeps track. about once or twice a month we go out to lunch, sometimes she doesnt have the money, sometimes I dont have the money, sometimes we pay for both. Right now I owe her one lunch but if I cant get to it right away we could still go and pay for ourselves. If I get a large check and she needs $30 for groceries in between checks I will offer and vice versa.

 

[lovemychix]

My 31 year old sister borrowed a lot money from my 19 year old sister and has the nerve to buy a new flat screen tv and sectional couch and not pay her anything. I don't tell them I have any money. Not that I do but if I did I'm

My older sisters hubby is a head engineer at a resort and they are borrowing money off a college student.

 

[BethinIrving]

Quote:
CountryMom, you are a jewel! I've found folks are wonderful about doing things to help return the favor you blessed them with when they needed it.