How would this make you feel?

[lockedhearts]

Quote:
This recently happened to me in the fall. I felt confused at first and then I just accepted it, its still sort of weird as to what is going on. But I felt real hurt by it. They had some massive family health issues and I was there through it all, with what ever they needed, she needed. Spend countless of hours listening, comforting, helping out with the kids when she couldn't, took the kids when she was away at the hospital for extended periods of time and then when everything was fine I got nothing but silence, no more phone calls, no texts, some FB messages but they were short and were of no reference what so ever to our friendship. Just a question here or there about the kids school or what ever. Still now I see her at school functions or shopping and we chit chat for a few minutes and I get the same conversation, oh when I get some time we should get together for coffee. but she never calls. Mind you I did try calling her and I did invite her over for coffee, dinner or just go out the two of us or with the kids. I tried for a few months and she always said she couldn't because she was busy or her dh was not feeling well. Only to find out later she wasn't busy, or running into her dh in town and him asking why I haven't been by lately. I once told him she had said he was Ill and he looked confused so I took that as a sign and stopped trying. I can't offer you any suggestions, as I couldn't even come up with a solution to this myself. but yes I felt abandoned, maybe even used.


I think the used feeling sums it up pretty well!

Ema

 

[Randy]

Yep. Sounds like you have been dumped as a friend. It sucks but there is nothing you can do about it.

 

[KleineHippo]

I lost my best friend in HS due to teenage drama. We re-connected during college for about a month. Then she wouldn't call me back. Amazingly I was invited to her wedding. After that, I called her three times over a span of a few months - no reply. She put a status on Facebook about how she loved to reconnect with old friends. At that point I gave up. It was obvious her life was too busy to keep up with little ol' me.

Then I realized one day that there were people I had done the same thing to. So many wonderful people I have known over the years, but there's not enough time in the whole world to keep up with everyone. You have to decide somehow who to keep and who to let go of. Two of my co-workers died a couple years after I had last talked to them. One I found out more than a YEAR after he died. I felt awful. The point is we all do it because we have to. Don't be too hurt by it in the long run. Remember the good times without dwelling on the loss.

 

[justbugged]

I had 3 women that I thought of as close and intimate friends. I lost all of their friendships in less than a year. I am still not certain what I did that was unforgivable. I know that they may blame me for telling me to p#$& off. But I still don't really understand why they let me go without even a chance to make amends. I do know that I befriended rather difficult people. I knew what I was getting into, and would have been willing to apologize for what I seem to have done.

There was such a sense of abandonment that year. I haven't made another close friend since. So I occasionally meet people, but I am to afraid to get closer to anyone these days. I am afraid to call anyone, because I afraid that I seem to be annoying to other people. I would hate to bother or annoy another person. I can remember knowing people when I was a kid that would take up a lot of my parents time. These people didn't understand boundaries very well. I so don't want to be like those people.

One of things I have learned is that I am okay by myself without friends. I also know that not one of the people that I thought as friends have bothered to call me. So apparently I am one of the pathetic people, that some special people will try to befriend, but that they soon find that I am not worth the hassle as a friend.

I have found since that I am very self entertaining. So as long as I am very careful while I spend a little time in public I can seem to pass as normal. The only safe place I have is my home with my pets. I am blessed with a DH that is very understanding of me for the most part. DH also travels for work. I know that is the only way he can stand me. I try so hard to be normal, it is just never enough to have any kind of close friend again.

BYC has been good for me for the most part.

 

[NewHopePoultry]

I'd probably feel abandoned

 

[NewHopePoultry]

Quote:
You sound alot like me. I have friends in real life and I prefer my pets.

 

[Mattemma]

You could always mail a nice card,and then move on if there is no reply. No sense trying to be friends with someone who just doesn't care.

 

[mom'sfolly]

I enjoy my friends, and have decided that the one who never calls, but is usually available if I call her, is worth the effort on my part to make sure we get together. Yes, I do most of the initial contact, but I enjoy her company. Sometimes, friendships are uneven; that doesn't mean they can't be valuable. I think the choice comes when someone sucks all you have to give, and then gives nothing in return. Or when someone ignores you to the point of rudeness.

 

[lockedhearts]

mom'sfolly :

I enjoy my friends, and have decided that the one who never calls, but is usually available if I call her, is worth the effort on my part to make sure we get together. Yes, I do most of the initial contact, but I enjoy her company. Sometimes, friendships are uneven; that doesn't mean they can't be valuable. I think the choice comes when someone sucks all you have to give, and then gives nothing in return. Or when someone ignores you to the point of rudeness.

This pretty much sums it up! I have a friend that I do not talk to all the time, but if I needed them, they would be there and have been there over the years.​

 

[SillyChicken]

I'd feel irritated.

I've had similar issues with a few friends (even family members).
I seem to be the one doing all the calling, so after a while I stop too.
Friendship is not one sided, thats just being used.
I don't like being used.