how would you handle this?

[AhBee01]

I have decided to stand my ground, I asked for a talk while my brother was present, and as usual it isn't going to happen. I just might go a head and have the talk any way, as the wedge she has created between my brother is already there. I do feel for him, but at the same time I feel he should tell her if she wants to keep them apart she can but while they are on his watch he won't. That will never happen.
She works Mon - Thurs, and My Mom babysits, so my brother can sleep, he works midnights. She already let my mom know under no circumstance is my kid aloud over there, and her kid is not to come here. It's just a nightmare I can't wake from.
I try to make sure I don't let my feeling rub off on my son. He sees I'm not myself, I am so hurt by all of her crap I can't think straight! I'm such a turn the cheek kind of person, and so naive, that people can treat people this way! I have never in my life knew of an adult that wanted to make a child feel inferior. It really blows my mind!

 

[MandyH]

That lady has issues. I would not let my child be any part of it.

 

[Mattemma]

Maybe try the talking when she is off.Like someone suggested go out to lunch,or go somewhere for a walk.Just do it away from the kids. I would no do it with her and your brother together.You should talk to him seperate to figure out what you two want for your adult sibling relationship,but if he wants to be under her nail then I guess that is his choice.You just need to work out how you want your relationship with him to be never mind the wife.

I recall reading it is best to say," I feel...." instead of "You did this(or that) which ticked me off....."

Let her have her say and you have yours.Then think what you can do to meet her needs and yours.If there is no middle ground then cut off contact.It will be tough but after a while both families will be used to no contact.

Best wishes!