How would you react?

[babymakes6]

I have WHAT in my yard? :

I agree with most of what you al said, but DH has to handle this himself. It is not my tractor it is ours. It is not my hear that is broken - it is his. For now, the tractor is back and nothing happened.

I would have strong words with the woman. I do not do passive aggressive. If you anger me I will let you know. Passive aggressive ticks me off. She is extremely passive-aggressive and this is anger, over something else likely, coming out sideways. It is her way. She'll sing the blues about DHs "anger issues" and how he is not charitable, all the while she is being female doggish over something else altogether.


The most dangerous animal on the planet is a mother protecting her young. In my case the second most dangerous is a female protecting its mate. It is VERY hard for me not to rip her a new one, but I respect DH too much to undercut him with her.

I just wanted to tell you that I applaud you for standing up for what you believe. I have to say, I think that is why so many people do not have good marriages-because they do what they feel is right, rather than letting their spouse take care of the problem the way they feel it should be handled. Don't we promise to "love, honor, and respect" when we get married?​

 

[deb1]

Perhaps you could chain the equipment somehow?

 

[Krysstyllanthrox]

I have WHAT in my yard? :

She had a key and the tractor was missing this morning.



Family. What are you gonna do?

If the tractor is in your name, report it stolen.

Edited to add: now that I see the tractor is back and you are going to let your husband deal with his mom. Perhaps you can suggest to him that the ignition be changed? Or some other step to prevent this happening.​

 

[horsejody]

Just remember that you could be financially liable if the borrower has an accident and is injured (or if he injures somebody else). Even if he is the type to not want to hold you liable, there may be no choice if the health insurance companies are involved. If a health insurance company doles out money for medical expenses due to an accident, they are legally able to make a claim against the owner of property or equipment involved. I was involved in such an incident years ago when my daughter was injured in an accident. The insurance company got the bill and their first response was to start litigation against a property owner to recover their costs. Be very careful loaning equipment. If he gets hurt on it or runs somebody over, you could be ruined.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

I agree with Horsejody. But I also want to add that you said MIL bought you the tractor: was there an agreement to repay her? Have y'all done so?

You don't mention the nature of your business and the "competition" from the person who borrowed the tractor. I think that the specific circumstances can make a difference. For example, if the pay was minimal for work for a close frind or relative, it is significantly different than a job at the going rate for someone where there is no relationship. Also, how y'all use the tractor makes a difference--for farming your own land, in construction, work for hire on others' properties, etc.

Check your insurance; if someone other than you and DH is using the tractor and damages the tractor, will your insurance cover the repair? If someone else damages property or injures someone while using your tractor, will your insurance cover it? In either case, would the rates go up or coverage be canceled? Does your state require an operators license or contractor's license for this type of work, and if so, does the person have it? Did the "theft"/loan prevent your husband from work he needed or planned to do?

For the immediate term, lock up the tractor with chains and/or in a locked location such as a garage or barn or fenced location. You or DH needs to talk with MIL and cover all these things. If she loaned you the money, pay it back by checks that are clearly labeled as to their purpose--as much as possible right now, and keep paying regularly. If she gave you the money--try to find anything written where she said it was a gift.

 

[Prettiest Frog]

I went through this with my own mother. My response to her 'but I paid for it' was to ask her when she was coming over to pick up the title and the rent for our garage space was $400 a month.

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

DH handled it pretty well at this point I think.

He went to the insurance company and got a very clear story on what our protection and liability is/would be and then got a quote for the type of insurance that would be needed for the tractor to be used commercially off the property.

He explained his concerns to MIL and told her if she intended to let anyone take the tractor off the property again she would need to purchase the insurance to cover it. She said she would think about it. HE was, as he always is with them, calm and fair and reasonable. It is why I got so furious when she said he had anger issues....... He stands up to them with maturity and I am proud of him as always.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

It sounds like y'all are on the right track. I do think you need to reach agreement with MIL on ownership--even if the title is in your name, the fact that she paid for it and believes it to be hers is an issue that needs to be settled. In her mind when she paid for the tractor, did she feel like she was making a purchase that y'all could use, but that she retained at least an ownership interest in? Was repayment ever mentioned or discussed? Did she provide all the money or just some of it? There is an old saying about never borrowing or lending money to a friend because it ruins friendships. I think it can apply to family as well.