Hubby vs. My Mom

[Quail_Antwerp]

Quote:
Hmmm, I don't see that her DH put her in the middle of "stuff". I think she put herself there, with help from her Mom. I think they put DH in the middle. Is he the one working and paying for feed? I think it's a little unfair to expect him to keep doing it. Also, I agree with an earlier poster. Hubby comes before Mom. Good luck!

No, my husband didn't put me in the middle of it. I am the one who went to him when I learned that my mom needed to do something with her chickens.

I am the one paying for the feed, not my husband. I wouldn't put that on him since it was ME that agreed to keep the chickens. BUT he did build the coop.

I am just going to tell my mom that the chickens have to go. I will give her until next weekend, or is that too long? If they aren't gone by next weekend, I will either sell them all off, or take them to them.

My husband is a wonderful man, so please don't anyone think he isn't. He just doesn't like what he thinks is someone taking advantage of his wife, even if that someone is my mother. He says enough is enough.

 

[DuckLady]

Hubby first.

If my hubby ever put his mom first over me (except for illness and injury or something she really needed done), especially if she was taking advantage of us, I would have a lot of resentment. Believe me she has tried.

 

[miss_jayne]

Quote:
Hmmm, I don't see that her DH put her in the middle of "stuff". I think she put herself there, with help from her Mom. I think they put DH in the middle. Is he the one working and paying for feed? I think it's a little unfair to expect him to keep doing it. Also, I agree with an earlier poster. Hubby comes before Mom. Good luck!

No, my husband didn't put me in the middle of it. I am the one who went to him when I learned that my mom needed to do something with her chickens.

I am the one paying for the feed, not my husband. I wouldn't put that on him since it was ME that agreed to keep the chickens. BUT he did build the coop.

I am just going to tell my mom that the chickens have to go. I will give her until next weekend, or is that too long? If they aren't gone by next weekend, I will either sell them all off, or take them to them.

My husband is a wonderful man, so please don't anyone think he isn't. He just doesn't like what he thinks is someone taking advantage of his wife, even if that someone is my mother. He says enough is enough.

i, for one take no stand that your hubby isn't wonderful. in fact, my guess is he is. he is doing the right thing, making you the Queen of your household, sounds like a good man to me. you keep hold of him! my husband treats me like the butter and vice versa.

sounds like you just have a problem that you needed to feel safe about and have an outlet for your feelings. we all have those days, weeks, months, years, eons!

tell your husband he rocks!

 

[tntstanifer]

Quote:
Hmmm, I don't see that her DH put her in the middle of "stuff". I think she put herself there, with help from her Mom. I think they put DH in the middle. Is he the one working and paying for feed? I think it's a little unfair to expect him to keep doing it. Also, I agree with an earlier poster. Hubby comes before Mom. Good luck!

No, my husband didn't put me in the middle of it. I am the one who went to him when I learned that my mom needed to do something with her chickens.

I am the one paying for the feed, not my husband. I wouldn't put that on him since it was ME that agreed to keep the chickens. BUT he did build the coop.

I am just going to tell my mom that the chickens have to go. I will give her until next weekend, or is that too long? If they aren't gone by next weekend, I will either sell them all off, or take them to them.

My husband is a wonderful man, so please don't anyone think he isn't. He just doesn't like what he thinks is someone taking advantage of his wife, even if that someone is my mother. He says enough is enough.

Sounds like my hubby. He doesn't like anyone upsetting me. And it's obvious that you are a little stressed over the whole situation. Giving your Mom a time frame is a good idea. Just how long that time frame is.....well, that's up to you & hubby. Post on freecycle or craigslist looking for fencing and maybe you can help your Mom find some fencing materials so she can get that run fixed. Maybe she's got something she can trade or sell for a roll of chicken wire? Your Mom really needs to step up and take care of what is hers. Hopefully she will understand and sympathize when you tell her how stressed you are.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

I already posted an ad on my local freecycle for chicken wire

Thank you! I didn't think about posting it on CL though, so I will do that, too!

I also posted a little selfish bit in the ad on freecycle...looking for scrap lumber

because I want to try to build my own chicken tractor, but that has nothing to do with my mom's chickens, just want to try building it for my own.

Thank you everyone for your advice and for letting me get it out, off my chest.

 

[MagsC]

I guess I would set an expected time with her and if necessary get her some feed before taking the chickens back over there.
The proposed "time" could include when she has the run fixed, within reason.

 

[miss_jayne]

Quote:
wow...you are fast acting like drain-o, girl!

nothing wrong with the double dip asking for tractor stuff!

thanks for the honor to help a/o give our two cents.

 

[FloridaChickenChick]

You go, girl!

And give your hubby a hug. Maybe your mom, too. It wouldn't have been an issue for you if you didn't care for your mom's feelings.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

Quote:
wow...you are fast acting like drain-o, girl!

nothing wrong with the double dip asking for tractor stuff!

thanks for the honor to help a/o give our two cents.

Yea, fast acting bodes well for me LOLOL

I do feel much better about it, just by expressing it and all. And hubby pointed out that I will be happier once her chickens are all where they should be, because then I can give more attention to my own.

Not that mine have been neglected! But I babied hers as if they were mine, and he says mine are jealous for having to share

FloridaChickenChick: Yes, I love my mom very much. Where my mom lives there was a problem because the chickens got out and a rooster chased a lady down the street (so was said) and my step dad never liked her chickens, so it was originally out of love for my mom that we offered to foster them so she wouldn't have to give them up.

I will give them both hugs. I already read to him the post where someone said to tell my husband he rocks...too much more of that and his shirt buttons are going to pop off! LOL

 

[gumpsgirl]

I know the feeling of trying to keep the peace and it is NOT FUN playing the peacemaker! I hate that for you. I would have to say that your first priority here would be to keep your husband happy. Remember, your mom has had one of those husband things to and she should understand. Just be completely honest with her and let her know that it is putting some strain on your marriage. Hopefully you will be able to reach a reasonable compromise soon. Hang in there!