Husband just died

[EweSheep]

Yeah, Opa DOES have my vote! Even an old roo can give his insights on what's going on. Vulerability....an ugly word for someone who is going thru a mess in life.

 

[wolftracks]

Quote:
See this was all I was trying to say.

DUH!

 

[Abirdbrain]

As a 59 yr old member of the general community, I'll say this: You seem smart enough to know, you are on your own. You need to take the time to grow into the space left by your partner, and become a fuller you. Everybody wants the perfect partner. They are a dream, a standard of perfection, and DO not exisit. We move forward to what we can negotiate with, train, and accept. As we get older, we deal with more what we dont want, than the ideals of what we want. Remember to really choose well, as faults will be evident early on. Keep your eyes and your heart open, break your tail working on your things, but never your heart. Failure, is not an option, only a stop sign on a longer road, to where we want to be. Get going, and best of luck.

 

[michickenwrangler]

Heck, I KNOW Wayne wasn't perfect. Mood swings, poor health, old-fashioned almost to the point of sexist, somewhat of a Hitler sympathizer.

I'm not looking for perfection, just companionship. I know what everyone is saying, but for the last 4 years I've known it was just a matter of time before Wayne died. His health problems were just too many and he was in too much pain. He wasn't happy. I had hoped he would live for a few more years yet. I don't recall if anyone here on this forum mentioned it or if it was one of my other friends, but I've been mourning his loss a long time. I knew it would happen, I knew what I HAD to do when it happened.

I've accepted his death in my heart, again, my grief is now for myself, being alone.

I'm going stir crazy, I'm caught up on all my chores and housework, grading, the garage is mostly organized. And I have nothing to occupy myself with. People keep telling me to take up a hobby, but yeesh, between chickens, horses, canning and preserving, house and yard work, I'm afraid to get involved in something else.

I can't read now. Normally I could always veg out with a book, but since nearly all books have an overt or subplot of "finding love of my life" or "losing love of my life" I have a hard time reading ANYTHING now.

I was writing fanfic of Jean Auel's Earth's Children series but I was writing a Mel Brooks/Pythonesque type parody of the series and I just can't get in the mindset for good humor writing.

My friends keep saying that anytime I want to go out just let them know but when I actually ASK them if they want to do something, everyone's too busy.

 

[babymakes6]

Have you ever heard of letterboxing? That would be something you could do with your daughter once in a while.

 

[michickenwrangler]

Quote:
What's that?

 

[babymakes6]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Letterboxing
It is a fun way to get out and explore many state parks as well as other public areas that you may never have discovered. http://www.atlasquest.com/ is a great place to find out if there are any near you. You could probably even do it with your horse!

 

[tazcat70]

Michigan, I am sorry that this has happened to you. I hope you find yourself soon in the midst of all your loss.

 

[michickenwrangler]

Going to see the grief counselor tomorrow. We'll see how that goes.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
I hope something helps you out soon. My friend who lost her hubby in January is still having a hard time as well.