Husband Math

Date sort Score sort
Quote:
Of all the nerve! Does he have any idea how much money you are saving for the family, being a stay at home mom? If that was my husband he would be in the dog house for that. You should equally split the tax return and just because he has a 'real job' does not mean he gets exclusive use of the money. You are earning it too!!!
 
Quote:
Of all the nerve! Does he have any idea how much money you are saving for the family, being a stay at home mom? If that was my husband he would be in the dog house for that. You should equally split the tax return and just because he has a 'real job' does not mean he gets exclusive use of the money. You are earning it too!!!

So.... So, you, you mean Im not the only one who thinks half is fair?
hide.gif
 
Last edited:
This is a real touchy subject with me, but will try to get through this without crying. I have tile coming up in front of my kitchen sink, because we had a leak TWENTY EIGHT years ago that went UNDER the floor instead of on top of the floor and we didn't know it until the tile till it started coming up. A tiny spot that could have repaired is now a 4 ft. long 2 foot wide spot. I am devastated. He bought a boat for $600, a car of some kind that is a shell but is worth a fortune when fixed that cost $6000 because we lost a truck to a deer in Ind. when we were on our way to pick it up, and then had to pay xtra to have it SHIPPED here. It's still in the back yard. We have a safe FULL of every kind of gun you can imagine, which I don't mind, as some of them are very very unique, but they are worth a LOT of money and I am hurt that he doesn't think my kitchen, where i spend HOURS upon HOURS is worth keeping at least comfortable for me. He has a truck he found on CL that he bought for $150, a little Isuzu that is setting. . .two motorcycles that have set in the shed for 20 years (well, gosh that one is worth a LOT of money!!) and tools out the wazoo . . .we have deathrow at the back of our acreage that is worth several thousands and would more than fix my kitchen floor and replace the flooring the family room . . .o.k. I'm done . . .but it makes me so angry that I use cash off coupons, buy thrift store as much as possible, make things from scratch because I want too and love too, but no appreciation whatsoever. I know he is sick, but NOT that sick!!!!! See, I get so upset when I start talking about this . . .and the sad thing is, he is such a jam up good guy!!! Just thick when it comes to MY personal comforts.
 
Quote:
Sounds like your plate is pretty full, to the point of spilling over.

After so many years it is difficult to change the roles that have been established in a marriage - but not impossible. Sounds like you hate controvery and confrontation like I do. I avoid it because I grew up with it. But I won't be walked all over either. I will calmly, quietly and firmly put my foot down when needed.

If you have access to finances, tell him you are going to have it done, and be quietly firm. A trick I've learned? If the other person starts raising their voice, lower yours. They have to quiet down to hear you and it works to defuse the situation. No yelling.

If he says he'll take care of it, say no, I want it done professionally because the whole floor needs to be done. The kitchen is MY domain and it will be done MY way. I spend far more time there.

If you don't have access to finances it's time to change that. What happens if he dies, you need to have access to the accounts.

I could go on for a long while, having learned the hard way. But you are the one in control of YOUR life. If he's a truly good guy, you will be able to make him see the light.
 
Last edited:
Quote:
Sounds like your plate is pretty full, to the point of spilling over.

After so many years it is difficult to change the roles that have been established in a marriage - but not impossible. Sounds like you hate controvery and confrontation like I do. I avoid it because I grew up with it. But I won't be walked all over either. I will calmly, quietly and firmly put my foot down when needed.

If you have access to finances, tell him you are going to have it done, and be quietly firm. A trick I've learned? If the other person starts raising their voice, lower yours. They have to quiet down to here you and it works to defuse the situation. No yelling.

If he says he'll take care of it, say no, I want it done professionally because the whole floor needs to be done. The kitchen is MY domain and it will be done MY way. I spend far more time there.

If you don't have access to finances it's time to change that. What happens if he dies, you need to have access to the accounts.

I could go on for a long while, having learned the hard way. But you are the one in control of YOUR life. If he's a truly good guy, you will be able to make him see the light.

I do control the finances, but when he got sick we lost 40% of our income, so that took care of getting things done on that extra money. He is such a good guy, that is drives me over the edge when I talk about hiring someone when I get a good comm. he can't believe that I would spend money, when he can "do it so much cheaper!!" BUT WHEN?????? I married my mother about making decisions (sign of the twins) and my dad when it comes to procrastinating. I already told him we are starting to clean junk up and its GOING to the salvage yard regardless of what he thinks. He is typical male, he MIGHT need it. I use to be that way, but started getting rid of stuff last year and I am still at it. the only thing that makes me sick is if I had known he was going to have to go on disability at 54, I would have just stuck to my first instinct and had the work done. He always was bad about doing things according to his mood, but I found out that when he was in the mood to finish something, it was absolutely gorgeous and I was always so happy with the end results. Now, he just drags his feet on anything that needs to be done for ME, and our marriage is still pretty good . . .so I don't think that is why, its just easier not to do for the one you love the most I guess . . .but its so dang frustrating!!!!! I am painting the family room ceiling next week come hades or high water, and then starting on the walls. The carpet is shot, but I will deal with that. . .one room at a time I guess!!! Thanks everyone for listening!!! It feels good just to vent to someone who is impartial. Our kids all know that its a constant thorn in my side, but they are crazy about their dad, which is good, and won't say a word to him about maybe finishing one of mom's projects. Our house is lovely on the outside, but after 5 kids moving in and out and grandkids coming to stay and then his getting sick, things just was let go. Dang it.
 
Quote:
Sounds like your plate is pretty full, to the point of spilling over.

After so many years it is difficult to change the roles that have been established in a marriage - but not impossible. Sounds like you hate controvery and confrontation like I do. I avoid it because I grew up with it. But I won't be walked all over either. I will calmly, quietly and firmly put my foot down when needed.

If you have access to finances, tell him you are going to have it done, and be quietly firm. A trick I've learned? If the other person starts raising their voice, lower yours. They have to quiet down to here you and it works to defuse the situation. No yelling.

If he says he'll take care of it, say no, I want it done professionally because the whole floor needs to be done. The kitchen is MY domain and it will be done MY way. I spend far more time there.

If you don't have access to finances it's time to change that. What happens if he dies, you need to have access to the accounts.

I could go on for a long while, having learned the hard way. But you are the one in control of YOUR life. If he's a truly good guy, you will be able to make him see the light.

I do control the finances, but when he got sick we lost 40% of our income, so that took care of getting things done on that extra money. He is such a good guy, that is drives me over the edge when I talk about hiring someone when I get a good comm. he can't believe that I would spend money, when he can "do it so much cheaper!!" BUT WHEN?????? I married my mother about making decisions (sign of the twins) and my dad when it comes to procrastinating. I already told him we are starting to clean junk up and its GOING to the salvage yard regardless of what he thinks. He is typical male, he MIGHT need it. I use to be that way, but started getting rid of stuff last year and I am still at it. the only thing that makes me sick is if I had known he was going to have to go on disability at 54, I would have just stuck to my first instinct and had the work done. He always was bad about doing things according to his mood, but I found out that when he was in the mood to finish something, it was absolutely gorgeous and I was always so happy with the end results. Now, he just drags his feet on anything that needs to be done for ME, and our marriage is still pretty good . . .so I don't think that is why, its just easier not to do for the one you love the most I guess . . .but its so dang frustrating!!!!! I am painting the family room ceiling next week come hades or high water, and then starting on the walls. The carpet is shot, but I will deal with that. . .one room at a time I guess!!! Thanks everyone for listening!!! It feels good just to vent to someone who is impartial. Our kids all know that its a constant thorn in my side, but they are crazy about their dad, which is good, and won't say a word to him about maybe finishing one of mom's projects. Our house is lovely on the outside, but after 5 kids moving in and out and grandkids coming to stay and then his getting sick, things just was let go. Dang it.

What would happen if you just one day ripped up the floor?
 
Quote:
When my DH was stalling on building me a coop I waited as long as I could stand and then on a pretty Saturday morning said, "Honey, I'm going to borrow your tools, okay?"
He, in a panicked voice said, "What?? Why??"
I said, calmly, "I need a coop built and I'm going to get it built today," and I headed for the garage.
You've never seen a man move so fast in your life. I helped, he built the coop. It wasn't done in a day, but it was done soon after.


So if I had your kitchen floor, and a quiet weekend, I'd be ripping up tiles and asking hubby where the tools are... Because sometimes you just have to light a fire under even the best of men!
And if I had grown kids I'd probably ask them to help, too, since their daddy hasn't been feeling well and it just needs to get done.

And I'd sell off some relics from the back 40 to pay for it, too.
First I'd ask him to rate his Top Ten keepers, and the rest would be history. When he asked what I was doing I'd say, "This is lumber. And this is tile, and this is..."
If he seriously didn't want it sold then at least he'd know that the floor was a big deal and needed to happen come heck or high water!
 
Quote:
When my DH was stalling on building me a coop I waited as long as I could stand and then on a pretty Saturday morning said, "Honey, I'm going to borrow your tools, okay?"
He, in a panicked voice said, "What?? Why??"
I said, calmly, "I need a coop built and I'm going to get it built today," and I headed for the garage.
You've never seen a man move so fast in your life. I helped, he built the coop. It wasn't done in a day, but it was done soon after.


So if I had your kitchen floor, and a quiet weekend, I'd be ripping up tiles and asking hubby where the tools are... Because sometimes you just have to light a fire under even the best of men!
And if I had grown kids I'd probably ask them to help, too, since their daddy hasn't been feeling well and it just needs to get done.

And I'd sell off some relics from the back 40 to pay for it, too.
First I'd ask him to rate his Top Ten keepers, and the rest would be history. When he asked what I was doing I'd say, "This is lumber. And this is tile, and this is..."
If he seriously didn't want it sold then at least he'd know that the floor was a big deal and needed to happen come heck or high water!

Wegot, that is a perfect idea! Great advice!
 

Similar threads

C
Ivermectin Pour on Dosage (Math Question)
Replies
1
Views
250
Wyorp Rock
Wyorp Rock
Esc_Quaily
    • Love
    • Like
One week update
Replies
9
Views
506
Esc_Quaily
Esc_Quaily
Winderdear
Request for Bumblefoot Advice
2
Replies
12
Views
359
Winderdear
Winderdear
B
Is she barren?
Replies
4
Views
264
Bishopalready
B
R
    • Love
Bird flu restrictions in Lincolnshire UK
Replies
3
Views
413
richardeblack
R

New posts New threads Active threads

Back
Top Bottom