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Sounds like your plate is pretty full, to the point of spilling over.
After so many years it is difficult to change the roles that have been established in a marriage - but not impossible. Sounds like you hate controvery and confrontation like I do. I avoid it because I grew up with it. But I won't be walked all over either. I will calmly, quietly and firmly put my foot down when needed.
If you have access to finances, tell him you are going to have it done, and be quietly firm. A trick I've learned? If the other person starts raising their voice, lower yours. They have to quiet down to here you and it works to defuse the situation. No yelling.
If he says he'll take care of it, say no, I want it done professionally because the whole floor needs to be done. The kitchen is MY domain and it will be done MY way. I spend far more time there.
If you don't have access to finances it's time to change that. What happens if he dies, you need to have access to the accounts.
I could go on for a long while, having learned the hard way. But you are the one in control of YOUR life. If he's a truly good guy, you will be able to make him see the light.
I do control the finances, but when he got sick we lost 40% of our income, so that took care of getting things done on that extra money. He is such a good guy, that is drives me over the edge when I talk about hiring someone when I get a good comm. he can't believe that I would spend money, when he can "do it so much cheaper!!" BUT WHEN?????? I married my mother about making decisions (sign of the twins) and my dad when it comes to procrastinating. I already told him we are starting to clean junk up and its GOING to the salvage yard regardless of what he thinks. He is typical male, he MIGHT need it. I use to be that way, but started getting rid of stuff last year and I am still at it. the only thing that makes me sick is if I had known he was going to have to go on disability at 54, I would have just stuck to my first instinct and had the work done. He always was bad about doing things according to his mood, but I found out that when he was in the mood to finish something, it was absolutely gorgeous and I was always so happy with the end results. Now, he just drags his feet on anything that needs to be done for ME, and our marriage is still pretty good . . .so I don't think that is why, its just easier not to do for the one you love the most I guess . . .but its so dang frustrating!!!!! I am painting the family room ceiling next week come hades or high water, and then starting on the walls. The carpet is shot, but I will deal with that. . .one room at a time I guess!!! Thanks everyone for listening!!! It feels good just to vent to someone who is impartial. Our kids all know that its a constant thorn in my side, but they are crazy about their dad, which is good, and won't say a word to him about maybe finishing one of mom's projects. Our house is lovely on the outside, but after 5 kids moving in and out and grandkids coming to stay and then his getting sick, things just was let go. Dang it.
