husbands sister needs to go rant

[MeatKing]

I'm so sorry your going though this. Couldn't even begin to imagine..

You are doing great!!! Keep your chin up. this too will pass" Ok sorry for the quote it will.. What do they need to move out? More money? The perfect place, lets start helping them with that goal.. What can we do to enable them for a new place?
Your a great SIL, I hope in a few years they will see that

 

[zzGypsy]

Quote:
and if your hubby takes their side against you, he's got his priorities wrong. you and your children, that's first, everyone else is second. if he doesn't have that right, there's more wrong here than his relatives.
if you've had that conversation and it didnt wake him up, well, if it were me, I'd be done. the kids and I would be out. life is hard enough without having your partner abandon you for his disfunctional relatives. that's no partnership at all.

besides, anyone I'm housing and feeding who then feels free to YELL at me and tell me how they AND their kids HATE me... well, that'd be the line right there. I'll help, but a little quiet appreciation, even just in the form of cooperation, is called for. anything less is ungrateful, and the yelling / hating thing is far outside what should be tollerated. that's a "choose them or me" moment right there. but be prepared, because if it's gone this far wrong, it very well may be "them".

your choices may be between hard and harder, for me, the right answer is the one which includes my self respect.

 

[FireTigeris]

Quote:
Print this and show it to him, its not registering... (???)

And my Hubbie is diabetic, I am hypoglycemic there is NO reason for that kind of behavior.

And I'd print that stuff from facebook and and that over too- possibly get a lock for the phones/computers?

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Yep...
You seem to have a VERY disrespectful husband. I think thats your biggest issue right now...

 

[mikensara]

I do have the support of my mom and two of my sisters who knows whats going on. I know I can talk to them and not have them start their own backlash against my inlaws. I havent asked to stay with any of them because i dont want to be a burden on their homes and they know I respect them and their homes and wouldnt want to upset their family balances. Going to apply for a job tomorrow and was told the boss is very nice so hopefully I get the job it seems like something i would like doing

then i can start saving money and putting it away.

everytime i ask hub if they are moving out why arent they actually looking for a place

he gets mad and says whats the big deal she has no money she cant move anyway

 

[mhwc56]

your husband needs a WAKE UP call...or a big boot to the rear end ..imho

 

[greeneggsandham]

Quote:
I think you need to tell your husband either they move or you are with the children and will be contacting a lawyer for divorce. He needs to smarten up or does he like living in a dirty house.

I love my family, but my husband and daughter come first and my parents and siblings know this.

 

[Time-Out]

I'm going to defend the husband here, just because we don't know him and I feel like he's already been judged and condemned!

I went through a similar, but different, situation last year. My OH's eldest son (from previous marriage) wanted to move south, find a job and flat in London (aka be closer to his girlfriend). I leapt at the opportunity and said he should stay with us until he finds a job. It'll be easier to get a flat once he has a job. Thing is... he got comfortable. In fact, he got so comfortable, that if we disappeared for a weekend to visit my OH's dad (up north), we'd get back late on a Sunday to find we had a huge piling of washing up to do. Same every evening. Before we could cook dinner, we'd be cleaning his dishes from the day. My OH couldn't bring himself to say anything, not because he didn't care, but because he's not that sort of person. He's very anti-conflict and would rather put up with things that confront them. Even his own dad was saying to kick him out, he's old enough to look after himself!
Anyway, back to the point, maybe the OP's husband is similar? Perhaps he can't stand up to his sister, who sounds lie she wouldn't back down from a fight. I'd be afraid to leave my husband in that sort of company (who knows what viles things she could fill his mind with) and with my precious few possessions.

I wouldn't know what to do, but sat here, comfortably, I can come up with some plots. Change the locks while they're out, leave their stuff - under cover - on the drive and have the police on speed dial for when they come back? She obviously has other family members. As someone else said, maybe it's their turn to take on the burden. You've done your fair share.

 

[onthespot]

You can start eviction proceedings against them. you don't need hubby'd permission if your name is on the house or the rental agreement. If your name is not on the agreement, I would just start packing. Get that job, and get some money scratched up. Meanwhile, everything you own is packed, just waiting for a few paychecks so you can get out. That will give hubby time to make a move. If he FAILS to make a move, you are ready to go the moment you can. That will be more "therapy" for him than anything a counselor can say. If bags packed therapy does not work, get ready for a new life, cuz you are going to have one.

 

[ladyride]

Looks like you are getting ready to remedy the situation. You & DH created your home & family invaders have come & took over. Decide what is best for you & your children move forward. The subjecting your children to this will remain with them for a long time to come. They are ultimately the one's who need protecting from SIL & her family. It is sometimes hard to draw a line in the sand so to speak with our relatives, but bad behavior is bad behavior.
Don't do the cooking , cleaning, laundry, for anyone but for you & your kids. After all they don't like how you do things don't do it for them let them figure it out it really isn't your place to clean up after them, do their, laundry,they are not guests they are complaining invaders. Their stuff is really not your responsiability.The decimation of your home may not matter to them it does to you, maybe to DH, maybe it is time to let him see what they are doing.
This will continue to escalate until DH develops a backbone or you leave.
The medical claims is hogwash being a diabetic who chooses to not to control their sugars is no excuse for bad behavior. If you are compliant with your diet & meds you generally don't have those crashes ( those problems SIL is perceiving as a problem ). You make a choice everyday about how you are going to handle your health needs & are you going work within your requirements or not.
Disrespect is direspect don't bite the hand that feeds you it just might slap you back !!

make your choices for you & your children it will not be easy. Many good thoughts for a hard situation.