husbands sister needs to go rant

[cafarmgirl]

There are lots of ways these freeloader's could be dealt with however, until the husband is on board with some kind of action none of it will work. As long as he is going to wimp out and side with them against his own wife nothing is going to change.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Rhett&SarahsMom :

sorry,, but I would LEAVE.
His sister and her family is disrespecting you in your home. AND so is YOUR HUSBAND.

Why are you still there? There is NO WAY you should be taking this. And that he isnt standing beside you is wrong.
Yes it is his sister, but ya know what. YOU ARE HIS WIFE.
If he wants to be brother. fine.. let him. but respect yourself and get out. If you have kids, take them with you. Go to your family. But dont keep taking this abuse from all of them. It's not healthy

Better to kick all the bums out and change the locks than to give it all to them.​

 

[FireTigeris]

Actually as hubby is 'with them' I'd only cook for yourself and the children.

"Oh I don't have time to cook for you with these 'guest' here, you are not listening to me and my needs"

 

[onthespot]

really. Cook meatloaf for you and the kids. He gets a jar of peanut butter with big finger swipe gouges in it.

 

[mhwc56]

honestly, i don't think she needs any "get revenge " sort of assistance here. It seems like she really feels like she's in a tough position and could use some wisdom ......

 

[FireTigeris]

Quote:
I've posted wisdom, now posting what to get attention by doing.

honestly when hubbie is taking their side over mine (his mother) I get pretty upset- we fixed it, but not until he listened to me - nothing can be fixed otherwise.

IF you change the locks w/o removing items and -not- giving DH a key, he'll just make a new key for them... locking DH out is a bad idea...

 

[onthespot]

There's a difference between revenge and consequences. Hubby should face consequences for very poor choices. Sooner rather than later.

 

[dewey]

I dunno.

Not saying it's the case in any particular instance, but many folks are in situations where they are completely financially (or physically) dependent on a wife or husband and/or the family, which can allow an abusive spouse (or their family) to control the environment as they gain (and weld) an unhealthy level of power. Minimizing, dismissing, or ignoring a partner's thoughts, feelings, and needs, and treating a partner like a servant to them or others is a form of battering. Sometimes gaining freedom from it is a process. Often starting with lots of venting and gaining a means of income.

Venting is good, and can initially be a way for us to receive validation that our thoughts and judgments are actually sound...especially if those things have been invalidated for a while...and it's often a precursor to making healthy changes.

 

[HeatherLynn]

I think the op is doing what she needs to right now. She is getting a job and becoming independent. She already stated that she was going to look for a place once she was securely on her own feet. Thats a great plan. Obviously she knows her husband and knows whether she will ever get his support or not. As far as cleaning and cooking she can do as little or as much as makes her personal living environment comfortable. She never mentioned kids that I saw so maybe just laying low and moving out is her best option. If so then she needs our support and the ability to rant to us when things are tense. It will take her a bit of time to get enough on her feet to move out so she needs things to stay as comfortable as she can manage it till then.

The only advice under her current plan I would give is any work you do that benefits your husband and his guests you should consider as paid work and set aside a bit of the family income for yourself. It will take a bit to get health insurance and such. Get everything you can taken care of now, eyes, teeth ect. Make sure you start buying yourself some work clothes. Consider it as payment for services rendered.

 

[greeneggsandham]

Quote:
I believe she has four kids. At least that is what her sig says.