I almost made an @ thread.

[horsejody]

Disagreement is fine as long as people are civilized about it. I think that some people purposely look for opportunities to demean others. For example, if a person posts an online rant to blow off steam and comiserate with friends rather than take it out on family, co-workers or clients, others sometimes feel the need to demean the poster. I get frustated with people, but I try not to take it out on them. I occasionally blow off steam talking to my friends about it. I'm glad that I don't get slammed for it.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
LOL Sally! I do that all the time. Too funny.

 

[Dar]

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So you're saying that no matter what the hurt, the cost, the whatever, say what is in your head if it is the truth? It does not matter if it is relevant? It does not matter if you could get your point across in a way that led to discussion instead of argument?

If I see an ugly person, it's okay for me to go up to them and say, "You're really freaking ugly," because it's the truth?

If I'm with a group of friends and one of them has bad breath, should I say so everyone can hear, "Your breath is terrible, why don't you go brush them?" Or instead should I pull them aside and offer them a mint?

Well, I don't see how anything could be gained by telling a stranger they are ugly. So, no, I am not saying no matter what the cost or relevance the truth must out. What I mean is, sometimes it is kinder to be honest than to keep letting people lie to themselves. My friends and I support each other in everything but we also tell the hard and ugly truths to each other. If we didn't, I don't see how we could say we were more than acquaintances.

When someone starts a thread crying because his house keeps burning down, it's not unkind to suggest he stop playing with matches.

that is not unkind... what is unkind is to say things to purposefully hurt someone

and yes when my close friend has bad breath i will tell her that her breath honks... but not in front of a bunch of people... i will send her a text message in front of people tho..lol

 

[ranchhand]

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Define true communication. Parameters, etc.

Shall I bare my soul to all, no matter how repulsive, hurtful or unattractive it may be? No matter what pain or unhappiness it may cause them?

I was taught that being "mealy-mouthed" is wrong, too. I was also taught that tact was very important, and that manners are the grease that allows the machinery of society to function without friction.

Another thing I was taught was that just because I felt my opinion was right and just, it didn't make it true. It merely meant that that was my opinion based upon what I had learned, experienced and been taught. Nothing in there meant it was the one and only right.

 

[debilorrah]

I don't think Hikerchick meant that she walks up to people and tells them they are ugly.

 

[redhen]

Some people just get their jollies by making rude, careless comments to others. I feel bad for them. They are bitter, sick people with miserable souls and lives... So sad..really. We should be feeling sorry for those folks that are so twisted inside like that.. i know i feel bad for them. Sometimes..

usually they just pizz me off and i tell them so.. cause i'm not pollyanna..

 

[Dar]

 

[hikerchick]

Quote:
thanks.

Only when absolutely necessary.

 

[hikerchick]

Quote:
Define true communication. Parameters, etc.

Shall I bare my soul to all, no matter how repulsive, hurtful or unattractive it may be? No matter what pain or unhappiness it may cause them?

I was taught that being "mealy-mouthed" is wrong, too. I was also taught that tact was very important, and that manners are the grease that allows the machinery of society to function without friction.

Another thing I was taught was that just because I felt my opinion was right and just, it didn't make it true. It merely meant that that was my opinion based upon what I had learned, experienced and been taught. Nothing in there meant it was the one and only right.

Very well said.

I know my opinion is just that. MY opinion. It might even be wrong. Does that mean I should not express it? Or based on what you wrote, I would guess it should be expressed within the parameters of tact and manners. Than makes sense.

 

[redhen]

Also..just because something is true..dosent mean you have to hurt peoples feelings and be careless with your words to them. Its called human compassion..some people need to give a little to people..maybe they wont be so bitter inside..just saying..because i know that when i'm a rude jerk to someone i feel pretty crummy about myself aftewrwards... maybe thats something to think about..? Whats wrong in your soul to be so crude to a person? what drives you to say hurtful things to people? Your own hopeless, lonely life and bitterness.. and that really is a sad thing.