I am furious with my Father....... long rant

[Elite Silkies]

Quote:
Yeah, based on looks. I don't love my husband for what's on the outside. But, I also do not think he is an ugly man (to others he might be of course, but not everyone has the same likes). I love him because I know he is coming home to me every night and not some one else. I love him because even after 10 years, he still makes me laugh everyday. He even took over my chook chores so that I didn't have to get rid of them all. He didn't have to do that, but he did because he likes to see me happy. Yeah, he has his little quirks every now and then, but don't we all.

When the economy went down, so did our business, and we had to get jobs elsewhere. Of course, the money was a drastic change. But, we are managing fine. My dad said....... You must really love him. I said why do you say that? He said most women would leave. He is so ridiculous sometimes. He just can't understand how someone could still love someone when they go from very well off to living week to week. Hmmmmmmmm.................... maybe he ought to try to have this thing called love in his life, until then, he will never understand anything. I would live in a cardboard box with my husband, because I would never leave him over money. Love out weighs all the material things in life.

But.......................
WOW! I can't believe the similarities or better yet almost the exact wording in what you just said and what my mom told me. Honestly, I think ya'll hit the nail on the head.

I haven't said anything cross to my uncle, because just like you and mom said, he will figure it out and he will see. No sense in me losing my BF over my dad. I feel sorry for my uncle, because he just doesn't really know what is in store for him.

I truly am blessed to have you guys to talk to and I appreciate all of the good advice.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

I think you should talk to your uncle. I assume he knows his brother, so he should understand. You can express concern for your father and his mental condition because of the things he did at your home--whether it is new dementia or longterm mean streak or ...

 

[Elite Silkies]

Quote:
I tried talking to him shortly after it happened and I saw that he was tending to side with my father, so I just left it at that. I think he'll need time to see that my father isn't really the person that he thinks he is. I don't want to get into a fight with my uncle because I love him dearly, and I think he will see in time. All that he can see right now is that my dad is really helping him out, because his business is slow, and my dad of course is keeping groceries in the house.

He was saying things like, well I can see your point and I see his point too. My dad has no legitimate point in my opinion. It's just that he is filling my uncles head full of his lies.

My mom says that his behavior is nothing new, that she went through some very bad times while with my father. She said that she never said anything bad about my father, because she knew that I would see for myself.

One thing stands out in my mind when I was little. My mom finally managed to get us a Christmas tree one year. She was so proud when she got it finished. She only made $450.00 a dollars a month at that time. My father made twice that in one week (he never helped her pay any bills, he was a severe alcoholic, and stayed on the road most of the time). Well, he came home that weekend and as soon as he walked in, he knocked the Christmas Tree over and tore it all up. She hit him so hard between the eyes that he slid down the wall! Of course, I was only about 8 at the time, and didn't truly see what my went through. Thank goodness she smartened up!

He is a very sick man, and I can see that now. I do hope that he finds peace in heart.

 

[Cindiloohoo]

Cammy, sorry your dad would do something like that and you have every reason to be furious. You really need to sit down with your son and have a good long talk about his dad. It's easy to focus on the person who angered you so much. But, that boy needs your attention and he needs to be secure in knowing that if he has ANY questions about his dad he can come to YOU. I worry about the kid because they lack the reasoning skills to sort these things through in their mind. Adults can fend for themselves, but kids really can't. THEN there needs to be some serious boundaries set for your dad. He obviously hasn't seen any established or he would not have tromped all over the other side of the line like that to begin with. It is hurtful, but you really should forgive him. No sense letting him have that kind of control over your emotions or actions. He is who he is and nothing you can do will ever change that. Make sure you don't hold a grudge, but you know now to keep him at a certain distance for the sake of your family.

for you and your DH and son!

 

[Dar]

sorry to hear that yr dad is acting like a jerk... you cant pick your family but there is no law that says you have to associate with him..

I have found some of my friends are more like family they my actual family.... hang in there