I am so frustrated with DH right now!

[Big dreams]

Do they make a wheat free chicken food? Just wondering I use whatever is available...

 

[Cindiloohoo]

Quote:
It is tough for her. She hates not being able to have chips and dip and cookies most of all. I do make some for her, but she never seems satisfied, and it makes my older girl feel bad. It's so frustrating because it's really selfish to show out like that, and I do not want her having pity parties constantly. She is spoiled rotten. I love her to death but that child is SO very manipulative with peoples feelings. I guess that is what really grates on my nerves. I am hoping she will outgrow it. I know she is just 12, but...hehe well I guess I am a little impatient. It seems like it has been forever that she didn't complain about or mope about something with her diet for the last 2 years she has been on it. I am trying to teach her to be thankful that I know how to make her stuff, but it seems like the more I try the worse she gets. I thought about just quitting making anything and she will just have to eat whatever she can find that she can have for a while and remind her of just how good she has got it but her daddy has a fit. did I mention these are step-kids...so my hands are kind of tied to a degree. OY...just want it to be OVER!!! Is it bad to want the kids to grow up and move out... ASAP?

 

[AmyBella]

Quote:
I was able to find one commercially available feed that was wheat free, but it was mostly soy and I do not want soy to be the main component of my girls diet. So many issues!

Gosh, Cindiloo... it might be time for some tough love! Maybe coddling her and giving in to her manipulation is just feeding the bad attitude. Tricky since it is a step-daughter. If it were me, I would continue to make sure that she always has something safe to eat when she goes out, but put my foot down when it comes to the complaining. You don't need to hear it every time her friends have Doritos and she can't! She will be dealing with the allergy for life and she needs to quit the pity party and start accepting it. Perhaps there is a support group she can join? Maybe she needs guidance with how to effectively communicate her allergy to other people? (This can be hard because sometimes saying "no thank you" isn't enough) Sure, give her a hug from time to time if she's feeling blue, but I would completely ignore any whining! So many people have it worse than her. Only five years 'til college...

 

[LizFM]

Quote:
Solved for the next three weeks!

You know, if I didn't have to get up in the dark and come home in the dark I would just mix the darn stuff myself and not make such an issue about it! I really do love my birdies and I honestly enjoy caring for them. Thanks for the ideas and support! Glad to know that I am not alone in my frustration. I won't take you up on those baby wipes just yet, PineappleMama!

I highly suggest that you do exactly what the others here have suggested...get feed to use and calmly tell him that if he lets it run out you're feeding what's easy for you (do this about 2 1/2 weeks from now

).

If you are 'fairly' early in the relationship (I've been married 27 years, for comparison), let me tell you it don't get nothin' but worse, as long as you are kind and understanding and cater to him and let yourself get drawn into battles over and over about what you need help with.

Once I Finally got way past the end of my rope and started saying things like "I don't give a crap what you want" and "if you want it done your way then you are doing it yourself. if you don't do it then I'm doing it my way and I don't want to hear jack ___ about it"....and actually acting on what I said, no matter how upset he got, in very short order my life got a whole lot more pleasant and he actually started shaping up.

Some men will go to 100 times more effort to avoid doing something, than it takes to just do it. And a whole lot of them are spoiled rotten, because so many women want to be "nice and kind and understanding" in the early stages of a relationship. Some guys won't do anything they don't want to do, and assume their spouse is the same way. This is how mine is. He actually thinks women enjoy waiting on him

Well I don't if he doesn't reciprocate. So now I do what I want, and I don't do what I don't want to do. If that makes me a bad wife and awful person. I'm good with that.

Don't take 20+ years to come to this conclusin

 

[AmyBella]

Quote:
Solved for the next three weeks!

You know, if I didn't have to get up in the dark and come home in the dark I would just mix the darn stuff myself and not make such an issue about it! I really do love my birdies and I honestly enjoy caring for them. Thanks for the ideas and support! Glad to know that I am not alone in my frustration. I won't take you up on those baby wipes just yet, PineappleMama!

I highly suggest that you do exactly what the others here have suggested...get feed to use and calmly tell him that if he lets it run out you're feeding what's easy for you (do this about 2 1/2 weeks from now

).

If you are 'fairly' early in the relationship (I've been married 27 years, for comparison), let me tell you it don't get nothin' but worse, as long as you are kind and understanding and cater to him and let yourself get drawn into battles over and over about what you need help with.

Once I Finally got way past the end of my rope and started saying things like "I don't give a crap what you want" and "if you want it done your way then you are doing it yourself. if you don't do it then I'm doing it my way and I don't want to hear jack ___ about it"....and actually acting on what I said, no matter how upset he got, in very short order my life got a whole lot more pleasant and he actually started shaping up.

Some men will go to 100 times more effort to avoid doing something, than it takes to just do it. And a whole lot of them are spoiled rotten, because so many women want to be "nice and kind and understanding" in the early stages of a relationship. Some guys won't do anything they don't want to do, and assume their spouse is the same way. This is how mine is. He actually thinks women enjoy waiting on him

Well I don't if he doesn't reciprocate. So now I do what I want, and I don't do what I don't want to do. If that makes me a bad wife and awful person. I'm good with that.

Don't take 20+ years to come to this conclusin

We've been together for almost 19 years! I know just what you mean about putting out all that effort to avoid doing something! It is infuriating... the feed could have been mixed for all the time we spent arguing about it. We're both pretty stubborn I guess.

 

[WilczenskiFarm]

Quote:
It is tough for her. She hates not being able to have chips and dip and cookies most of all. I do make some for her, but she never seems satisfied, and it makes my older girl feel bad. It's so frustrating because it's really selfish to show out like that, and I do not want her having pity parties constantly. She is spoiled rotten. I love her to death but that child is SO very manipulative with peoples feelings. I guess that is what really grates on my nerves. I am hoping she will outgrow it. I know she is just 12, but...hehe well I guess I am a little impatient. It seems like it has been forever that she didn't complain about or mope about something with her diet for the last 2 years she has been on it. I am trying to teach her to be thankful that I know how to make her stuff, but it seems like the more I try the worse she gets. I thought about just quitting making anything and she will just have to eat whatever she can find that she can have for a while and remind her of just how good she has got it but her daddy has a fit. did I mention these are step-kids...so my hands are kind of tied to a degree. OY...just want it to be OVER!!! Is it bad to want the kids to grow up and move out... ASAP?

Step-kids or not... should that matter at this point? Blood-relative or not. For example - I speak up when ever my friends' kids are acting out in any way. I do not put up with that - if it was towards me or anyone else for that matter. Point is, she needs to learn that her allergies are NOTHING compared to what others have to contend with. I suggest community service at a food pantry, childrens hospital etc. Another good character-building activity is karate. Don't laugh - they stress self-discipline in all aspects of their lives, respect and community service. Speaking from experience - these both help.

As for my DH - I have tricked him once or twice about things he thinks he can't have or tolerate. After months of the deception - I told him - he got mad - then realized how much of a BABY he was and now keeps his mind open to new things.

 

[Kim_NC]

Quote:
Solved for the next three weeks!

You know, if I didn't have to get up in the dark and come home in the dark I would just mix the darn stuff myself and not make such an issue about it! I really do love my birdies and I honestly enjoy caring for them. Thanks for the ideas and support! Glad to know that I am not alone in my frustration. I won't take you up on those baby wipes just yet, PineappleMama!

I highly suggest that you do exactly what the others here have suggested...get feed to use and calmly tell him that if he lets it run out you're feeding what's easy for you (do this about 2 1/2 weeks from now

).

If you are 'fairly' early in the relationship (I've been married 27 years, for comparison), let me tell you it don't get nothin' but worse, as long as you are kind and understanding and cater to him and let yourself get drawn into battles over and over about what you need help with.

Once I Finally got way past the end of my rope and started saying things like "I don't give a crap what you want" and "if you want it done your way then you are doing it yourself. if you don't do it then I'm doing it my way and I don't want to hear jack ___ about it"....and actually acting on what I said, no matter how upset he got, in very short order my life got a whole lot more pleasant and he actually started shaping up.

Some men will go to 100 times more effort to avoid doing something, than it takes to just do it. And a whole lot of them are spoiled rotten, because so many women want to be "nice and kind and understanding" in the early stages of a relationship. Some guys won't do anything they don't want to do, and assume their spouse is the same way. This is how mine is. He actually thinks women enjoy waiting on him

Well I don't if he doesn't reciprocate. So now I do what I want, and I don't do what I don't want to do. If that makes me a bad wife and awful person. I'm good with that.

Don't take 20+ years to come to this conclusin

Hey, I'm with her! She's my kind of thinker/actiontaker! I guess it did make me "a bad wife and awful person"....cause when the EX still didn't get the message, I divorced him

I've been married to DH - only real husband I've ever had - with a much better life and marriage since 1991.

Quote:
I agree....and I'd tell her Dad you're not going to put up with it. He's doing her and the rest of you a disservice by letting her behave as spoiled, manipulative..... brat. (Sorry, can't find another word, and that one fits.)

 

[Tala]

Quote:
Which is what I tell DH when he asked why the freezer was full of 2 Litre Dr Pepper bottles of water!!!! Um, we're out of food and ice will hold the temp a lot cheaper than a freezer full of nothing. Plus it doesn't hurt a thing to set them out if you need the space. Seemed simple enough to me.


LizFM I think I love you! I've only been married for 3 years and hubbs has gotten spoiled recently, so tutor me in your techniques! mwhahaha!

 

[Cindiloohoo]

Kim_NC Are you calling my kid a brat?!?!?! Cause I know that already....

Sorry I vented while someone else was venting about their kid...er...husband. Looks like everybody votes tough love as the weapon of choice for both of our dear little whiney babies OP!!

 

[Ariel301]

Hahaha he sounds a little like my husband. When we knew we were moving to our current home, with seven acres, he suggested one night that maybe we should get a few sheep, and asked if I would research what kind would be best and how much they cost. Well, we ended up with goats instead, since they were cheaper to buy. His idea to get them, but guess who feeds, cleans up, milks, grooms, delivers kids, breeds, buys feed, and everything else? Yeah, it's me. I don't mind, I love doing it all, but I think it's funny that he was the one who wanted them originally but he doesn't do much work, just enjoys all the benefits. To him they're like having a bunch of dogs, he walks with them and feeds them snacks and pets them and that's it lol. And then it was my idea to get chickens, and he has more or less taken over caring for my chickens for me! Whenever it is time to feed the chickens, he makes sure to beat me to it.

It's frustrating though when you need to depend on them to get something done and they take their sweet time about it. Mine does that a lot. Or he forgets I asked for something, and I have to keep reminding him for days. But when they want you to do something, they want you to drop everything and do it right now!