I cannot believe what my neighbor did today.....

[Ellie_NY_chick]

I don't think a strongly worded letter from an attorney would be out of line, telling her if she harrasses you or your children again than you'll sue her until she bleeds. She won't have a yard to worry about anyone digging in.

She sounds like a real whacko. Have you thought about a restraining order? That way you would have some legal recourse if she even so much as sneezes in your family's direction.

Her medical problems are no excuse for putting her hands on anyone, period.

 

[Cetawin]

Quote:
By whom? If she were loved by her family she would not be alone and she would not be behaving this way unchecked.

Personally, I would not allow my mother to live alone if she were in that condition (having had several small strokes).

Secondly, I would be receptive to someone calling me telling my mother basically steals pets, assaults children and is a general butthead to children.

Thirdly, I would be packing mom up and moving her in with me and caring for her or making sure she was being taken care of in a facility to treat her mind and body.

Do not confuse mental deficiences with excuses and childbirth for love. This woman needs professional help and the support of her family which does not seem to be forthcoming.

She could have a stroke and lay there in her house for days before her family noticed most likely. It is for her benefit that she gets some evaluations and help. Crankiness is one thing but her behavior is a sign of something more serious going on.

I had a stroke in labor with my daughter almost 12 years ago....I have residuals from it. Granted the paralysis in my hand and arm are gone, my eyesight has gotten worse but sometimes my short term memory is really off. I know it can affect you and I am sure at her age having had several there is something that a doctor needs to check out thoroughly.

Just my 2 cents worth. Good luck with this one I wish I could feel like this would be last situation for you with her but....it will most likely happen again.

 

[PearlD]

Joan is married, but her husband just does what he's told. And he is usually at work when she does her carrying-on. And.......get this.......he's a pastor at their church.......

I found out today that her daughter and son in law are moving in with her until they can buy another house. I kindof hope she flips out with her daughter there............there is nothing funner to me than a good "I TOLD YOU SO!!!!"

 

[DTchickens]

hmmmm. Brings back a lot of memories... My aunt was like this (she was into drugs actually.. probably her problem). she had harassed my cousin and i for so long. everytime we would see her. We would run honestly.. over the years her pits. and whatever other type of mutt/bulldog she got would come over and kill our dogs/chickens.. about 10 dogs total. and only God knows how many of my dads chickens they killed. my Parents finally invested in a Great pyrenees. Because my dads chicken buddy had some pups.. getting rid of them, my great pyrenees turned a year old. No one. Family or not will come in our yard. if they do. they sit in the car until someone comes out. when my pyrenees turnt a year.. She took 5 of the bulldogs on. almost killed one. the other ran. we couldn't stop her either. eventually she just stopped herself. since then though. no one goes to her house. and she doesn't come on our side of the road. Neither do her dogs. and dont get me wrong and think my dog is violent. shes not really. its just the bulldogs came out barking at us kids. and my dog has never Biten anyway in her life. she will just bark at them and keep them in their truck until someone comes out.. Well ol Xena. was bout at her death bed now. 10 years old. and we haven't seen her in the past couple of days. soo.. she may have died. told my parents "Next dog we get.. is going to be a Great dane" Lol..


-Daniel

 

[Verboten]

You have my sympathy.

As the OP knows - there are no easy solutions to this problem. Just saying “if this happened to my kid, I’d….” or “if someone laid a hand on my kid, I’d….” is just childish bluster. - What good would it do at all for this lady (or her husband) to go and beat the heck out of a feeble old woman? Answer: NONE - Their children would be growing up with one less parent.

The law works so slowly and in an after the fact matter that is useless in preventing abuse or harm neighborhood children at some time in the future. But after it has happened… What did the police say about ‘Joan’ assaulting your son? - Is this in the report? Did you file a complaint? Is it too late to file a complaint? (I doubt it). This could be your chance to both get her help (she will not go to jail) and protect the kids. It may take some time for the incident to be handled, but at least the wheels are in motion and it will get her attention about what is considered to be legally appropriate behavior. The police are not mind readers - were they notified about the other incidents at the time they happened?

I would not place much (or any) faith in her relatives - you gave them their chance and they did not respond appropriately. Next time is not a good time to respond to a problem that has already happened.

Best of luck.

 

[Rhett&SarahsMom]

"NONE - Their children would be growing up with one less parent."


their children are GROWN adults.
If this happened in my neighborhood the police would be involved, as would Protective services. As it is "we"(the neighborhood) have called in an attorney on how to deal with the nut job on our street. Our next move is getting protective services involved to check on her. And she isnt elderly. she is just nuts and is a danger to herself and the entire street

 

[CATRAY44]

You might try Adult Protective Services. She is becoming a danger to others( the way she is driving at the children would be one example.) She may need a neuro-psych evaluation. My father began exhibiting bizarre anger problems with his nieghbor when he was in early-middle stages of Alzheimer's.

 

[Scrambled Egg]

So sorry for those kids.. at least they have a great example of what NOT to be like!

 

[LilRalphieRoosmama]

OH MY. Glad to hear things are settling down. Poor kids - why is it that this kind of stuff always happens to the GOOD kids???

I didn't notice if you said how old this woman is, but it's very possible that the strokes have caused some dimentia. My Grandfather had mild dimentia for years and my Mom and my Aunt refused to see it. I shouldn't say "refused", but made excuses for it I guess. Everyone knew he shouldn't be driving but nobody would stand up to him and take steps to get him stopped, even when he drove to my Aunt's house 150 miles away on New Year's Eve and knocked on her door at 3am. He was supposed to be there at 3 in the AFTERNOON the next day. Mom and aunt met with his dr to try to get him to do something, but legally there was nothing the dr could do. He was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia and we took that opportunity to get him into assisted living. Told him it was "temporary" until he recovered. Well, once he was in there, the drs found out how bad he REALLY was and actually had to move him to a locked down unit and restrain him. He lasted 3 months there, deteriorated so quickly, and fortunately passed away quietly.

The point to this is that YOU see how bad she is but families tend to not want to SEE it. Her family may know to some extent, but once they move in, they'll have a much clearer view. They may even know the full extent which is why they are moving in and just made up an excuse so she would let them.

My thoughts and prayers are with all of you and I hope for the best.

 

[michaelvcrowder]

if she was video taping from her own property of a public street then she is well within her rights. kids or not. if they were on her property then once again she has full rights to video tape and to scold. she crosses the line when she lays hands upon the kids. her threats of sicking a dog on people is also crossing the line.

if you don't want her video taping the kids tell them to stay out of her line of sight. problem solved. explain to the kids about property rights and show them where the property lines are and to stay off her property. another problem solved. sounds like this issue has culpability and mistakes from both sides.

the deal with her swerving the car at the kids is a sticky one. while that can be interpreted as hostile it would take some good witnesses to prove it. you want to stop that? keep the kids out of the street, at least without direct adult supervision. once again problem solved.

the world is full of crazy people. at some time your kids have to realize this and learn to deal with it. also you need to remember is that the cops are not charged with protecting us from harm. if you read the preponderance of case law all the way to the supreme court the cops cannot be held responsible if something bad happens to you or your family. their only real obligation is post crime, which is to investigate, gather evidence and pass this on to the court system for prosecution.

as to the DHR and DeFaCs, just telling them that the crazy ol lady is disturbing the neighborhood is not going to get anything done. if your kids are riding their bikes in the street and not following the rules of the road then you are likely to get in more trouble than she. remember the law specifically says kids in helmets, riding with the flow of traffic never against it and only crossing the street at intersections. i doubt kids are riding their bikes according to the letter of the law.

by your own admission, the kids did trespass on her property. in the eyes of the law, ignorance is no excuse. i am not saying that the old lady is not crazy or not acting unreasonable but just letting you know that once the authorities get involved the process will be followed exactly to the letter of the law and you and your kids are just as likely to get in trouble as her.

i can hear the defacs case worker now... "just who was watching the kids while they trespassed?" "did YOU see her swerve at them?" "NO?" "was there no adult supervision while they were outside?" "i think we may just have to take these kids into protective custody until we can figure out if you are providing a safe environment for them!" don't believe it can happen like this? i saw it happen to my friends brother. be very careful when you start calling anyone involved in child protection. that deal can go south if you get a "just as crazy as the ol bat next door" case worker.
michael