i dont know what to feel

I'm sure I was being selfish, I want them here for my baby and myself. I know why they are leaving and its best for their individual families, its just not ideal for mine. I will never do this to my mom and I wont be having kids far spaced like I was from my sisters. That way my kids will have better odds at having their families at the same time. I am searching for an affordable phone plan within my provider since I just extended my contract. I already have skype but its the timing that makes things so difficult especially when so many kids are involved...my sister who just moved is having a really bad time with her preteen daughter because of the move and the puberty...and she has to deal with it solo now, no sisters or grandma to intervene or back her up in front of her daughter. My sister's husband is supportive but having a bunch of close aunts set you straight has really helped before with this niece. Thanks for the support and reality. I haven't ever had to negotiate these feelings before. Its a lot of loss, feeling abandoned, missing them already, fear of losing tough and the closeness and knowing they wont be around for me or my son when we need them.
 
cousins are nice but how many kids who's parents where single children or had siblings with no children out in the world? Plus I have 20 first cousins on both sides of the family, yes I literally have 40 first cousins, guess how often I usually saw any of them? I usually see 10-15 twice a year if I am really lucky (mom's side), and most wouldn't come to my funeral if you paid them and they already had the day off work with pay. so your kids can survive without cousins, probably be better off without them. My dad's side I have met 5 of my 20 cousins, yes a whopping 25% of them and one of my cousins is get this 38 years older than me, and she has GRAND KIDS MY AGE! So much if I ever do meet her, our lives are on complete opposite ends of the stages of our life. plus my dad's family is spread from coast to coast and from north to south, I doubt we could ever get everyone in one place for a reunion.
 
As your family spreads their wings. see not as a
separation but as a growth. New experiences that
you will all share.

With today being what it is you can talk to anyone
anywhere almost instantly. My own family is spread
all over the United States. Cousins and such. And we
keep the phones on fire.

We stay in touch because thats what we do. We would
be lost without each other. They've been so much a part
of my life.

But we've spread out now. And at the time, we've grown
closer than ever. And somewhere along the way, we've
even managed to make a few new friends who are as
close as family.

My own best friend, closer than a brother. He even calls
he his "brother with different parents." The truely amazing
thing?...we aren't even the same color. But brothers, we are.

I love to bragg about my family. How very much of my life
they have been.

But in that being said, I never had a real grandfather. They
both passed away while I too young to remember them. And
one grandmother passed away just a few months after I was
born.

So we had us some 'adopted grandparents. They were really
cool. Their names were "grandpa" and "grandma". Even now,
I have to stop to think what their real names were.

For they were indeed, my family. I couldn't tell you about my life
and not mention them.

Spook....and family
 
We have family in 2 other countries and in 3 other states here in the U.S.. The digital age makes contact easy. Sure it would be great if we were closer,but the visits sure are sweet.You will find a way to make things good.
 

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