I don't know who to talk to or where to put this,It's just a bad week.

[redhen]

Quote:
Make him realize what you do, do around there!!! Quit doing it!!!

Just a thought anyway!!

Missi

I agree!
First off, he needs to help you with stuff around the house! And It dosent sound good that you cant even give your opinion or he says you are arguing with him. Not good...you NEED to be able to talk to him! AND he NEEDS to listen! Communication...communication...communication! I have no fear in my house..i say what i darn please..and my hubby better respect me and listen to how i feel. Period.
If you cant get to couples counseling...try to google communication techniques for marriage or couples, on line.
When you speak to him about a problem its very important to NOT blame the other person. as in "well, you ALWAYS do this and do that, and its your fault that this happend..etc....."
Instead, try saying.."i feel hurt when this happens...etc.."
Sit him down, and without blaming him,...tell him what is bothering you..tell him that you dont want your new marriage to fall apart...ask him if he would please try these things with you...etc...
See what he says..if hes still a jerk..its time to bring out the big guns! For real..i dont play around and my poor hubby knows it..

Good luck!

 

[Iowa Roo Mom]

Hang in there... you'll get through this!

 

[dlhunicorn]

It takes two to argue... when you respond to his jabs then you have lost your edge.
Give him the silent treatment if he does not respond to a gentle change of subject (or a simple "we are both to upset now to discuss this).
If he cant sleep because you need to calm down or vent on the computer after a stressful day of dealing with him then tough cookie...

 

[RedHead]

mostly when he argues with me like what happened last night the argument was pretty much over as fast as it started...he said that lately all I've been doing is arguing with him and I simply stated that I didn't think I was arguing, I was communicating and he said "what the hell do you think you're doing right now?!" and I just said nevermind then and left it at that. And that was after him getting mad at me for not having a cig, like it's my fault anyway... I stay at home and do the house/farm work all day and it's not like my car is back from his dad's shop yet because he hasn't gotten around to picking it up yet

The mechanic's wife's car doesn't run, just like I'm sure the carpenter's wife's chicken coop isn't finished yet..ect. if you get my point lol I'm just not going talk to him any today aside from the normal simple mandatory conversations... I just have to think about how to bring this up to him, but bear in mind that his mother is a darn good psychologist/therapist and he's a good one for using what he's learned from growing up with her, I might just have to call her today to see what she thinks..
Thank you all for your support and help.. Again I have to say
I LOVE BYC!

 

[lauralou]

I'm so sorry hon! I hope things get better soon.

 

[seedcorn]

Quote:
If you have the guts, record when you talk to him. If it's like home, what you think is discussing, is actually yelling or at the very least louder than normal w/nasty over tones. To hear your own inflections and volume is sobering. I had a room mate to do that to me, cured me.

 

[kagedgoddess]

i didnt read all the posts.
lots of spouses are like that. my dh is. he thinks his job is just so much more important than mine no matter what. we managed to find a balance somehow. Good luck sorting that out
on the stop smoking thing. me and my DH quit seperate. every time we tried to go at it togeather we'd nearly kill each other. he quit first cuz he had an easier time not being tempted. its been over a year for me and i STILL feen when i smell the smoke. but i quit it just took me a couple monthes. good luck on that too.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
OOh NO! his moms a shrink! RUN! LOL

Just kidding! Good luck!

 

[RedHead]

Quote:
OOh NO! his moms a shrink! RUN! LOL

Just kidding! Good luck!

I think it's a little late to run

 

[sfw2]

RedHead, I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I agree with previous posters who've recommended that you quit one at a time. If you want to be supportive while your husband quits, then smoke outside. At least one of you will be in a normal frame of mind, which should help defuse potential arguments.

Hope you manage to "dissuade" whoever is taking your chickens - hopefully without getting arrested!

Take a few deep breaths (or as deep as your tar-stained lungs can manage!

), and go play with the chickens!