I don't know who to talk to or where to put this,It's just a bad week.


11 Years
Jan 22, 2009
East Lake, NC
I'm not even sure if I should post this or not, but here it goes...
I've just been having a very BAD week... it's been what? 12 days married and 5 years together and living together... Nothing has changed on my end as far as I know.. But 'D'H has been trying to quit smoking since the day after the wedding and IN TURN I've been trying myself FOR HIM, even though I honestly don't want to, and yes I know it'll be better for me if I do and I'm at about 7 days with only having smoked about 5 cigs. ANY DARN WAYS lol... He's been VERY irritable as have I this past week, bad enough to the point where the other day a friend of mine gave me the rest of his smokes (about 8) when I just asked for 1 because my stress level has gone WAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY up because every time I try to talk to him about 5 mins into the conversation he trys to turn it into an argument.. I don't know if it's intentional or what. But here's the scenario from last night to tonight....
The night before last, someone came onto our property tried to steal some of my RIR, I know because the latch that I only open to clean out the coop was open and no other creature aside from another human being could have opened it and we are missing 9 of our cornish X, whose coop is on the back side of our house..And is the only coop with out the fort knox padlocks everywhere. ANYWAYS... we both ended up smoking a couple more than we intended because of stress and sitting out watching our coops, which is why I'm still awake now. ANYWAY, I only had 3 left after last night and Yeah I smoked them today...I got the winter greens in the ground and dug up several small trees in the process, I care daily for 40 chickens, 2 dogs, 2 cats, a green anole lizard, and a rose hair terantula, I do the dishes, laundry and cook EVERY night on top of making breakfast and sending him to work with some sort of lunch premade for him...AND HE get's mad at ME! for
NOT having any cigs left and then drinking a little more than usual and appearantly I have been arguing with him the past week and in my opinion ALL I have been doing is defending myself, and OF COURSE I can't talk to him about any of this because I'm " Arguing" with him again.

I'm sorry this is so darn long you guys, I honestly didn't know where else I could let this out without being judged too harshly and/or because of bias people I know that have known my DH his whole life. You don't have to comment if you don't want, I really just had to get it out. I mean.....
What KIND of husband lets their wife silently cry while doing finishing laundry and doing the dishes from dinner at 10:30pm? And then just goes to bed with his precious freaking laptop... I swear sometimes he spends more time with his darn computers than with me...
OK I think I'm done now....sorry for disturbing yall...
Like I said...I just HAD to get it out somehow..

I wish I had some words to make it better, or at least some words of wisdom, but right now I'm out. I'm so sorry you are feeling this way, what an awful time you're having.

Being a smoker, and having tried quitting on my own and with my husband in the past. If what you're experiencing right now is new, then it is the quitting. If this is something you have experienced in the past... well you know what is said next.

I can give long distance hugs though.
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I know it's hard, but it will be better for both of you in the end if you can get through this and stop smoking. My DH went through the same pissy stage when he quit...it wasn't fun but I'm really glad he did it.
Awww, tis good to let it out, we all go through that kind of crap one time or another.......hope it works out for you.
Hopefully Mr Grouchy will feel better soon, so you will too. (I know, cause I have one of those Mr. Grouchy's)
Better out and sometimes strangers will come up with a solution you both can live with.

Quitting smoking is one of the hardest things in the world to acomplish. not everyone will get it done on the first second or possibly the 10th try.
This comes straight from a doctor.
My suggestion would be stop trying to go cold turkey as you both sound like you have been trying to do.
Go to your Dr both of you and ask about the Ciantrix(sp) to help you accomplish your goal.
I am happy you both are trying to quit smoking, Stress is not a good companion to make this happen.
See your doctor get on the medication and both of you jump into a nice hot tub and relax for a little while.
Good Luck to you both on your venture.
Sorry to hear that. You guys really should keep trying to quit smoking though, that's what killed my father (lung cancer). At age 60. I was 17. It tore me up inside. I drank instead of grieving. Things got bad for me. I am OK now. It's tough, I know, but you guys can get through it. It will be SO worth it. You will breathe easier, things will taste & smell so much better, you will enjoy life more! I highly recommend the patch, prescribed by a doctor so he/she can regulate the patch sizes. Try relaxing with meditation, long hot bubble baths, massage (each other), more lovemaking, romantic dinners out, long walks on a beach (or with a dog), perhaps a new puppy or kitten, and try to expect a bit less of yourselves and each other. Relaxing is the key.
Let me tell you that you are not alone. We may not smoke but our issues are similar in ways how my job (i'm the wife and mother and work too.)is 24/7 while the hubby thinks his is 8 hours a day and gets to come home to a meal and sit in front of the TV while Mom is still doing things. He does help occasionally but not 24/7 like us Mom's.
Kudos for at least trying to help with him on quitting the smoking. At least you are trying. You may get to the point where you will say here is a pack of cigs just so things will get back to normal. I'm sure it is VERY stressful for anyone to quit a nicotine habit. Hang in there, it will be a rough ride for both of you.

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