I dont want to go away now

[Momagain1]

I dont know why; but the last couple weeks..I have been so irritated at things hubby does...

we are supposed to leave on thursday morning and will be gone until Saturday late afternoon...we are
going to ICHE (IL Christian Home Educators Conference)..we will be in conferences on Friday and saturday day; but thursday day/eve, friday eve will be for us to be
alone together...no kiddos...

I feel he is snapping at me for NO reasons at all..and he hung the phone up on me the other day ..after we argued while he was at work about
how he talked to me on the phone...I'm like if I cant vent my frustrations about something/someone to YOU, who can I?? Then he said I
could but I'm critical of ppl..I said I was just VENTING..thats all..please dont yell at me..so then he said stuff like you think I'm yelling? THIS IS YELLING!!
and then I said ok and didnt say anything whille he continued to crab at me for being "critical"...so then he was mad at me for not talking
to him; so then he said ok and griped a few things and then hung up on me...

I'm not sure whats going on; but he hasnt touched me, he hasnt kissed me, he hasnt made ANY advances to me such as hand holding, kiss, hug etc..
I know he's not cheating; thats not even an option..I'm just not sure whats going on...

I dont know if he's stressed or what? I'm a very sensitive person and if I talk to him about how I feel and what I feel is going on, he gets critical
again or says I'm reading too much into it..well..you know I cant help how I feel right? So we end up arguing about it ...
We had been doing sooo good and were soo much better lately..now i feellike we are going backwards...

anyway; I had plans to go to town to get some stuff for our trip..butnow i dont even want to go ANYWHERE with him...
just this a/m I woke up and said ok this will be ag reat day today...I have faith; 20 minutes later we were in the car taking
it to the shop; apparently he was listening to something on the radio and I said "Can you deal witht he carpet guy today? I'm not..."
then he said "Thanks for talking, I was trying to hear when the storms were going to be here"..

WTH?? I DONT WANT TO GO ANYWHERE WITH HIM..and I know he'll wanna be intimate due to being away from the kids...well
FORGET IT BABY..NOT HAPPENING!!!

I'm soooo upset and irritated w/him I have no clue why he doesnt understand me in the last couple weeks..Its not like I have
changed into a different person!!!

 

[debilorrah]

It sounds like you two need to find a neutral zone and sit down and tell each other what is going on. Place no blame, just have a conversation. If it starts getting heated, time out for 10 minutes, to your own corners.

 

[GiddyMoon]

Have you given any thought to the fact that satan is attacking you through the people you love becuase you are going on this conference? This is a Biblical fact. I would pray about it. I would also spend a lot of time praying and doing Biblical research on our job with our emotions. You have my prayers.

 

[Momagain1]

Thanks; I'm sure satan does have his grimey li'l hands in this...

this volunteer project we were doing has takena lot of time up the last several weeks and
last yr during the ICHE convention, my daughter went missing and suicidal and we had to leave earlier
than what we had intended...

so this yr...she's stable and yet he/I are having issues..the first in a long while...

I dont feel good today physically, I am wiped out and just feel ill...he's been ok
w/me laying around; but I feel guilty cause we have work to do..but he's checked
on me a couple times..asking how i feel...but thats about it...

he did say he'd do the business orders when he gets in when it storms..but its not
gonna storm now..so i doubt he comes in..

buti gotta suck it up and get to it; I have a next day order ugh!

I should pray about it all..should..but for some reason I'm being stubborn and dont want to..but I NEED to..

 

[ben is a terror]

I have sometimes written him a letter. No picking I started it with I'm concerned about........ and end with I Love You! I read it over several times fixing it here and there.. Of course there is the old stand by target practice with rotten goose eggs.

I live with an unpredictable man never know who is coming home Brad Pitt or Hannibal Lector Just attitude! I think they believe we are physic and should know whats bothering them. Do you have any good friends that you could talk to at the conference? What about the leader of your church. I go to a christian counselor and one day hope to get him there. He helps me vent ALOT!! I am also very sensitive person and things get under my skin too I vent with hmmmm enthusiasm shall we say.

I know with the things going one today lots of people are scared of tomorrow. Will I have a job ,my friend is losing his home So many of our friends are facing lay offs etc. Could something be going on that he doesn't want to share with you because he doesn't want you to worry?
Please stay in touch
PM me if you want
I'll pray for you and your hubby remember you can always vent here we promise no goose egg throwing

HE's self employed mine to now I really understand we also dealt with an ill daughter still are
so more love

 

[GiddyMoon]

I should pray about it all..should..but for some reason I'm being stubborn and dont want to..but I NEED to..

It's called humanism. I would really pray about this too.

 

[Momagain1]

No, his job is secure (Walgreens)..the only thing that could really ever happen is that his schedule gets changed..but thats not a reality right now..

The conference; we dont know anyone there..it'll just be us..and "them' lol...we havent even made our game plan on what seminars we will attend;
he usually attends diff. ones than I do..then we meet up at lunch and discuss them so we can get our $$'s worth!

Normally he's really predictable..he's very low key and much of an introvert 95% of the time..He doesnt take things personally usuallly and I am very sensitive
and do..even if someones not meaning me..I still hurt from it..just the assumption of it...

I'll have to thin kabout that letter...maybe that'll help...

I have to take a pkg to town later..maybe I can write a letter and leave it for him to read while I'm gone?? who knows..maybe that'll make it worse??

<sigh>

 

[ben is a terror]

Don't write it in a hurry! Sometimes it takes me a whole day to get it to sound right. I found if I write it to fast I sound more like a complaining B**** then someone who really wants to work things out Writing to fast will make it worse. I know it's hard to pray but HE does hear and listen even when it seems no one else does. Go to YOUR favorite place and just talk to HIM! Mine is the chicken run

You And I have more in common than you know
Go to town and it you can take a long walk

 

[Momagain1]

I just want us to NOT FIGHT this wk when we have our alone time...
we dont get it often..and RARELY RARELY several days...thats all..

 

[Spookwriter]

Before you set down to write that letter to hour husband...

Ever consider setting down and writing a letter to yourself?

I'm serious... we can't change the world.

But we can change ourself.