I dont want to go away now

[GiddyMoon]

I am not saying anything here to condemn you, but I am hoping for conviction..your statement here:

Normally he's really predictable..he's very low key and much of an introvert 95% of the time..He doesn't take things personally usually and I am very sensitive
and do..even if someones not meaning me..I still hurt from it..just the assumption of it...

We shouldn't take things personally..we shouldn't get hurt from assumptions. I am going to go out on a limb and tell you, as a sister in Christ..your emotions are your choice..God tells us to control our emotions and not let them rule us..many are led astray by emotions. Emotions cause 99% of the problems in this world when they are not controlled with sound wisdom.

I have no doubt this is hard on your husband..and satan's minions saw an opportunity here and it is affecting you and your family.

I don't know if you are open to it..but I hope so. Today's show on the Joyce Meyer website, she talks about how to make decisions with God..and how when we look for people to lead us in suggestions..we can easily get sucked right back into the mess we are trying to crawl out of. "Make Your Own Decisions --Be careful where you seek advice. Joyce shares how you can make decisions that will be true to God and to who God has destined you to be. "

I have watched people get healed for 20 years by Joyce and her ability to tell people to grow up. I just listened to 2 shows this morning...she is who God used to heal me, and many people I know..but it is our choice.

God Bless.​

 

[redhen]

Sometimes you just have to let go of things...and just unwind.
Dont hold his being a grump at you aganist him at the conference... that WILL just cause MORE problems.
Look..he LOVES you..hes with you..he works his butt off to provide a home for you guys....(i assume?) because i have heard you mention how much he works.
Just let it GO... be friendly and sweet to him...be his FRIEND and have a good time. Good luck!

Now i'm NOT sticking up for his bad behavior... but again.. SOME things you just have to let go of.

This is how i am... when my hubby gets on my last nerve, i blow my stack... I have a hot, short , sometimes violent temper.

( i.e. he has pretty much learned to not get on my last nerve anymore..lol)
If my husband would have hung up on me... i would have called him back and blew a nutty on him...
Then when he gets home..i would be calm and its all forgotten....
You cant hold on to things...it WILL destroy a marriage.
Now if he does something REAL bad..like cheating..or being abusive..etc... then NO, you dont forgive that...(well i wouldnt anyways..) i would just have to move on with my life... those things theres just no getting over. (for ME anyways..)

But petty bickering??? Nah.... let it go! Lifes to short to be stressed and unhappy....
Go to the conference and have fun!

OOh and i dont know about the Satan stuff..we create most of own problems without any help...

 

[ben is a terror]

Quote:
Great idea never thought of that !!
Time for chocolate but not to much

 

[Spookwriter]

Can I share a short story from Chicken Soup for the
Soul here? Written by Jo Ann Larsen, it came to mind
when reading the original post. Something about it
seemed to fit the day.

Spook







Larry and Jo Ann were an ordinary couple. They
lived in an ordinary house on an ordinary street.
Like any other ordinary couple, they struggled to
make ends meet and to do the right things for their
children.

They were ordinary in yet another way -- they
had their squabbles. Much of their conversation con-
cerned what was wrong in their marriage and who
was to blame.

Until one day when a most extraordinary event took
place.

"You know, Jo Ann, I've got a magic chest of drawers.
Every time I open them, they're full of socks and under-
ware," Larry said. "I want to thank you for filling them
all these years."

Jo Ann stared at her husband over the top of her
glasses, "What do you want, Larry?"

"Nothing. I just want you to know I appreciate those
magic drawers."

This wasn't the first time Larry had done some-
thing odd, so Jo Ann pushed the incident out of her
mind until a few days later.

"Jo Ann, thank you for recording so many correct
check numbers in the ledger this month. You put down
the right number 15 out of 16 times. That's a record."

Disbeliving what she had heard, Jo Ann looked up
from her mending. "Larry, you're always complaining
about my recording the wrong numbers. Why stop
now?"

"No reason. I just wanted you to know I appreciate
the effort you're making.

Jo Ann shook her head and went back to her mending.
"What's got into Jim?" she mumbled to herself.

Nevertheless, the next day when Jo Ann wrote a
check at the grocery store, she glanced at her check-
book to confirm that she had put down the right
check number. "Why do I suddenly care about those
dumb check numbers?" she asked herself.

She tried to disregard the incident, but Larry's strange
behavior intensified.

"Jo Ann, that was a great dinner." he said one evening.
"I appreciate all your effort. Why, in the past 15 years
I'll bet you've fixed over 14,000 meals for me and the
kids."

Then "Gee, Jo Ann, the house looks spiffy. You've really
worked hard to get it looking so good." And even "Thanks
Jo Ann, for just being you. I really enjoy your company."

Jo Ann was growing worried. "Where's the sarcasm, the
criticism?" she wondered.

Her fears that something peculiar was happenning to her
husband were confirmed by 16-year-old Shelly, who com-
plained, "Dad's gone bonkers, Mom. He just told me I looked
nice. With all this makeup and these sloppy clothes, he still
said it. That's not Dad, Mom. What's wrong with him?"

Whatever was wrong, Larry didn't get over it. Day in and
day out he continued focusing on the positive.

Over the weeks, Jo Ann grew more accustomed to her
mates unusual behavior and occasionally even gave him a
grudging "Thank you." She prided herself on taking it all in
stride, until one day something so peculiar happened, she
became completely discombobulated.

"I want you to take a break," Larry said. "I am going to do
the dishes. So please take your hands off that frying pan
and leave the kitchen."

(Long, long pause) "Thank you, Larry. Thank you very much."

Jo Ann's step was now a little lighter, her self-confidence higher
and once in a while she hummed. She didn't seem to have
as many blue moods anymore. "I rather like Larry's new behavior,"
she thought.

That would be the end of the story except one day another
most extraordinary event took place. This time it was Jo Ann
who spoke.

"Larry," she said, "I want to thank you for going to work and
providing for us all these years. I don't think I've ever told you
how much I appreciate it."

Larry has never revealed the reason for his dramatic change of
behavior no matter how hard Jo Ann has pushed for an answer,
and so it will likely remain one of life's mysteries. But it's one I'm
thankful for.

You see, I am Jo Ann.

 

[ranchhand]

Hmmm.... I thinking a letter to yourself and maybe then one for him. Most of the times in my life, 55 years of it, I have found that looking in the mirror was more of a solution than anything else. Introspection is a good thing. It seems that when problems arise I am sometimes the one who has been out of line. I apologize, he apologizes and life goes on.

My husband has enough on his mind. I do, too. I don't need to burden him any further with my worries, concerns, rants, vents or whines, and he doesn't need to dump on me. We are both adults, committed for life to each other. But we do not feel a need to share every little thought or activity. Important things and issues are discussed quietly and we usually end with a compromise. It's a partnership, not a "but I'm needy" thing.

I can honestly say that if my husband were to find me posting our personal lives online almost every day, details upon details, he would become irritable and distant, and then some. BYC is available to the world. How much do you want the world to know?

I truly hope you can get to enjoy your time away. Rather than dump on each other, find a way to boost each other. Like Spook's story, (even though the guy's name changed to Jim and then back to Larry?)

 

[Katy]

Quote:
X1000!!!!!

Posting all this info on the web for the world to see and share with 1000s of strangers will do nothing to help your situation at home.
If my husband saw me sharing personal info on a website rather than talking to him about what was bothering me I'm sure it would do immense damage to our 38 year marriage....I can't imagine how hurtful that would be to him.

 

[Judy]

Thank you for your participation.