I have a bad family.. Not sure how to feel about this.

[conny63malies]

sounds a lot like my lovely family

 

[zzGypsy]

just because people are related doesn't mean they have to love you, or you love them.

be polite to the ones that are snooty or rude or better-than... just because it's the best way for *you* to be. but you don't have to put any extra effort in beyond that. they don't act in loving ways, so it's not surprising you don't feel loved by them or love for them. polite is enough... its more than you might get from them, but that's ok, it's the right way to be anyway. cuts down on the drama.

put your time and energy into your relationship with your folks and your mom's family. maybe take a class in whatever language they speak so you can get to know them better.

if your parents don't have a will (and what ever other docs are necessary where you live) providing for custody and care of you should something happen, work on them to get that done... otherwise the court would decide and you may not like the results. maybe this is something your mother's family should be considered for... they might be a better place as an option. even if nothing ever happens, your parents will feel more secure knowing there's an emergency plan in place.

we don't all get a perfect family... make the best of the good ones.

 

[sourland]

Hang in, Moochie, things get better.

"Friends are the family you make for yourself." - trust me, I know how you feel.

 

[Moochie]

Thanks for the feedback..
It's really weird when I can't relate to my friends' conversations about their families. Whether it be their grandparents (both of mine are dead), aunts/uncles, cousins.. etc. I just have my mom, dad, and animals.

 

[zzGypsy]

Quote:
yeah, it can feel kinda weird.

sort of like being from another planet...
I used to think of it as "Hi, nice to meet you, I'm from planet dysfunctional, just dropped in for a visit on your planet."
but hey, since this is the planed I live on, I just have to find a way to make connections and fit in.

there are lots of folks out there with the same issues - bad parents, bad families, people who've lost family members, orphaned folk without families, people who grew up in foster care... I don't think there are as many "normal" folk with "normal" lives as one might imagine.

It's better to spend your energy on appreciating what you have than on missing what you don't. I spent too much time when I was growing up being angry about what I didn't have... it didn't restore what was missing, or make me happy. just love and be grateful for the good people you do have... it makes your life a better place to be.

 

[twentynine]

Sorry no sympathy from me-----

Remarks such as "don't like common sandwiches" makes me wonder if you are a spoiled brat or not.

So tell me what kind of uncommon sandwiches would meet your requirements?

No mayo breaks your day. Lots of people including my folks believed mayo on an unrefigerated lunch sandwich will make you sick. But if you would rather make an issue out of no mayo. Did everyone but you get mayo? What's it to you, what's in their fridge? It's not nice to talk "behind their back".

Some one is paying for you to go to Disney! Kinda wonder myself about some one not wanting to participate in the fun, and rather stand aside "watching the ducks". Sounds sort of passive aggressive to me.

I don't impose on friends or relatives when visiting, even if invited. Everyone needs their space that is what makes a visit enjoyable.
So I usually make arrangements for my own accommodations when visiting. Didn't know it made me better than anyone.

 

[ChicknThief]

I can see both sides of this coin as well.

Moochie dear, I'm so sorry you aren't getting along with your family. I know how hard that is. Luckily, family is determined by the people who love you unconditionally, not by the blood that flows through your veins. I am more than happy to share my story with you if you think it will help. There are members of my family who by all accounts should have no place in my life, but I keep them around because Christ has given me the strength to forgive. Holding grudges and anger in your heart will only hurt you, and it will have no effect on them.

I will say that perhaps you should take a moment and examine your own heart as well. Some of your statements indicate that you are very young, and perhaps do not have as firm a grasp on what is truly important as you may think. Someone did indeed pay a pretty penny for you to go to Disneyland. They probably were not expecting you to only show interest in the ducks, and it was probably very disappointing for them to see you doing something you could very easily have done at home for free. As for the sandwich, someone made it for you so that you wouldn't go hungry. It would likely hurt them very much if they heard the way you really felt about it. By complaining about the common sandwich, you are behaving no better than your relatives who complained about your simple house.

That said, disquiet amongst family members can be very painful. We are all here for you if you ever need to talk something out or vent a little. Good luck to you.

 

[Avalon1984]

And that is why I spend the holidays with my husband and animals only. Don’t need family ruining our holidays. Let them be miserable somewhere else.