I have fallen and can't get up!!!!

[maple]

ooo ok i get it

 

[peepdaddy]

My wife was taking a load of laundry to the basement. She decided to take a large, long box down as she went. She was kicking the box ahead of her. She stepped on the edge of the box an slid down inside it. The laundry basket landed on her head and she was struck! The stairs are steep and the inside of the box was slick. After several muffled yells I heard her and had to rescue her. Wish I'd thought to record the event! Was a good laugh but boy did she get p*ssed at me!

 

[caspernc]

yeah, that was pretty funny

. at least you heard her!

 

[sourland]

Hope you are OK today. When the "Princess" fell, she was carrying some boxes, thought she had reached the bottom-and stepped off into space 3 steps from the bottom. I had hernia repair surgery the day before so was of little help. By the time the police and rescue squad arrived, her ankle was swollen twice it's normal size. I was there on the couch as they carried her away on a stretcher for X Rays. Our daughter came to our rescue, and 48 hours after surgery I resumed normal activities (her's and mine) around the house. My wife's hobby is acting so I said "Anything to get top billing. You have just reduced the importance of my surgery." She applied the ice packs to the point of frost bite and blistering.

Can't tell that woman nothin'.

 

[A.T. Hagan]

I have fallen and can't get up!!!!

Well, while you're down there could you dust under the bookcase?

Hope you feel better soon.

 

[theoldchick]

For the first time in many, many years I decided to put up a Christmas tree. Since I deplore the idea of murdering a perfectly healthy tree to celebrate the birth of Christ, I bought a cheapie artificial one from Family Dollar, and had a blast buying ornaments and lights to dress it up. I was very happy to adorn it with all kinds of strange things I collected over the years. However, I swear this fake tree is possessed.

Three days ago I walked past my home-made splendor to have a branch snatch my sweater. The tree twisted about and targeted my face with incredible accuracy the most breakable ornament on the tree. After a quick trip to the emergency room, I was left partially blind for a few hours due to having my pupil dilated for diagnostic purposes. Cranky to say the least, I returned home to continue my domestic duties.

While working on wrapping gifts, I walked past the tree, felt a tug, took a step back only to be ensnared by the extension cord. I didn't move. Incredibly, the tree pounced on me! I flung my arms over my head and fell back. My skull thudded against the fireplace mantle. Blood was every where. Another trip to the emergency room where the staff was having a difficult time believing my story. As they whispered behind my back, I heard the words domestic abuse. Great! If they decided to go through my purse they'd find my husband's handcuffs and really get to gossiping.

Once my skull was sutured and bandaged, I returned home and finished my gift wrapping in another part of the house. When my hubby returned from his police work, he was horrified to see the condition I was in. He sat me in a chair and interrogated me. After a few minutes he was convinced I was hallucinating due to possible lead inhalation from the cheap china ornament dust. He said to stop blaming the tree when I probably busted my head while practicing my yoga. I gave him the look all husbands know. The GLARE. This glare included the arched left brow which meant instant incineration if he continued to mock me.

Intimidated, my husband barricaded the tree with bright yellow CAUTION! DO NOT CROSS! tape. Intent on making me feel safe in my home, he handcuffed the the tree to the super heavy coffee table. As he worked, an ornament fell on his head. He jerked back and went for the duct tape.

So, my once beautiful Christmas tree is now adorned with silver duct tape, yellow caution tape, and numerous handcuffs. As soon as the Catholic priest does an exorcism, the tree will be packed in the original box, and burned like a witch.

Next year, if I decide to decorate, I'm putting lights on a tree far, far away from my house. For now, I must go change my skull bandage and put drops in my eye. If you don't hear from me again, the tree probably finished me off.

Merry Christmas!

 

[celticfarmer]

Quote:
I think I've seen it once.

It's a rare act that is hard to catch on film, occasionally you can find them doing it in the wild but I've never seen this behavior in captivity. But once they have found a mate it never happens again.

 

[FarmerJamie]

Quote:
I think I've seen it once.

It's a rare act that is hard to catch on film, occasionally you can find them doing it in the wild but I've never seen this behavior in captivity. But once they have found a mate it never happens again.

The technique in our house is to pile things on those flat surfaces - viola nothing to dust.

for the OP - does it help to know that some of us are klutzes, too? Years ago, I was bathing one of the kids while I sat on the side of the tub. I had some back issues at the time so I had limited ability to move. One of the other kids thought it would be fun to pretend to "push" me in. Well, I ended up sitting in the tub cross-wise and it took the wife and the two older kids to pull me out, wet bottom and all.

 

[caspernc]

A.G......DARN it Iwish I had thought of that!

theoldchick..... That was THE funniest thing I have EVER read. I'm still drying my eyes.

update..... just got back from the e.r. and it is fractured. now i'm learning to type with one hand so there will be few capital letters

.

thanks to all with th funny stories . if anyone else has any please share, i'm enjoying this.

 

[maple]

what? you fractured your arm?

well, that'll teach ya!

But seriously....it will.

Sorry to hear your a clutz and hopefully this time...it'll teach ya.

I don't know what we're gonna do with a one armed BYCer...suppose we could stick an apron over your head with big pockets so you can still fetch the eggs.

But take it easy and let me know if those pain pills are kickin in yet...then you'll be lots of fun to talk to.

So does this mean you get out of cleaning duty for what? a couple of months?