I Just Lied to My Mother-N-Law!!!

[thepromise]

Okay, i just told my Mother-n-Law I knew how to roast a turkey!!! so now she wants me to do the turkey for thanksgiving!!!

I was looking up Recipes, but figured this should be the best place to ask! then this morning she calls me and says she also wants roast duck on the table.

Im screwed!!! So I want to know what is the best recipe to follow and what kind of duck should i use? I raise Muscovys, but i dont think im going to use them, unless you guys think its a good idea? Oh yeah one last thing my mother-n-law is from the south. I prefer recipes from there, but any other good ones are great too... Thank You in Advance.

 

[DuckLady]

I have a MIL like that. She is messing with you.

Just do a turkey and tell her if she wants duck to bring it herself. Your turkey will take up too much room in your oven.

Turkey is easy.

Get a butterball with the pop up timer. The package will tell you how to prepare it and how long it should take. Then you can plan your other dishes.

Have the dishes ready to go in the oven when you take out the turkey. While the turkey is cooling enough to slice, your other dishes will be cooking/warming in the oven. You can give your MIL the honor to make the gravy (everyone likes to be asked to make the gravy. It makes them feel special).

Or just make a prime rib or whatever. Thanksgiving doesn't have to be turkey.

 

[texasgal]

.... and announced it on the World Wide Web ...

 

[Olive Hill]

Quote:

You'll be fine. Unless you have two ovens, tell her you can only do the turkey. That way you don't have to worry about the duck.

 

[bigmike&nan]

Pardon me MIL but YOU are not doing the cooking so you'll get what I (meaning YOU) serve. A Butterball is a great bird, also consider using a Baking Bag, they sell turkey sized bags. You toss a little flour in the bag, put the turkey in and tie her up. Check Reynolds website for all kinds of baking bag recipes.

Mother in laws like to show their sons they are better cooks than their brides. Unfortunately for your MIL her son married you and he's moved out... MILs... boy.
Don't be afraid to show her your canines... MILs like to test boundaries, show her she's outmatched.

http://www.reynoldsovenbags.com/

 

[HeatherLynn]

Turkey is wicked easy though. Definitly get the roasting bags. I also stuff mine with a bit of rosemary, and an apple or orange. I just toss those afterwards but they flavor the turkey from the inside out. Just look for Paula dean recipes. I did a butter rub last year. Oh my. It was very yummy and it browned so pretty too. The food network and allrecipes.com are your best friends.

 

[Olive Hill]

It's hard to say what your MIL's motives are. I don't think all MILs are pure evil; though the get a reputation saying they are whether they deserve it or not. I think sometimes, even the good ones, do have a hard time when their DILs first start taking over some of the things that once fell to them and only them. My MIL seemed to have a really hard time when I first started cooking and hosting parties for the whole family. It didn't seem a problem when it was just DH I was cooking for but parties with everyone, that was different. If she really is having a hard time with it, expect backhanded comments regardless of the quality of your cooking. You could cook the best turkey on the planet and she will probably find something to criticize. For my MIL it was often either the spicy-ness or the fat content. Or both. Her cooking is very bland and I like FLAVOR so lots of times she'd "Ooo, so spicy!" not hot, spicy, mind you, just... flavorful. Even if everyone else was woofing their portions down happily -- which was usually the case. Or the fat content. She makes a lot of shortcuts in recipes to cut fat content. Which is fine. But then that became a topic of criticism for her if I didn't. So, my advice would be to steel yourself against that. If you taste the turkey and it's good and everyone else is raving, ignore whatever she says about it. Those comments will be much more about her own internal feelings about herself, her place in the family, etc. than about the actual turkey.

Navigating the relationship can be tough. Stay strong, be true to yourself and your DH and you guys will get there though.

I eventually just quit hosting things. My house is bigger, it's designed better for accommodating a bunch of people, it's not any harder for everyone to get to... but it's just not worth it. She is obviously VERY uncomfortable with it so we just let her do her thing. You'll find your balance. Good Luck!

 

[KatyTheChickenLady]

LOL I remember that lie!!!!!
really do what everyone has said:
for your first one get a Butter Ball and a Turkey cooking bag you can't go wrong also a disposable turkey pan if you don't have a real one.
words of advice . . . if you buy frozen THEY TAKE DAYS TO DEFROST and REMOVE THE BAG OF GIBLETS AND NECK FROM THE BODY CAVITY.

DON'T try to stuff your first bird with stuffing. to be very "professional" throw 2 celery stalks, one onion, a few garlic cloves, and some herbs into the body cavity before putting it in the bag

Skip the duck, but don't even mention it until she asks when she gets there, then just say "Oh I decided I need to keep them all for breeding stock . . . maybe next year."
I agree about assigning her the gravy, again just wait until she arrives and don't toss the drippings from the bag, she will need them to make the gravy.

 

[PoultryPedia]

bigmike&nan :

MILs like to test boundaries, show her she's outmatched.

If you do this now (& you can do it firmly while still having a smiling attitude), it will save you LOTS of grief over the years because you can be quite sure she'll keep trying to dictate demands and expectations if you just

when she tells you to do something even if that isn't something good for you.

Don't just

and hope this will be a one-time problem (it won't)--Pull your courage together, smile

, and tell her that you are looking forward to everyone getting together, and you are happy to do X [whatever it is you feel right about doing]. Tell her that you won't be doing X [whatever you don't want to do], and you know she was thinking she'd like it but it's not going to work for you to do that. Tell her you know she'd like X so you need her to work out another way to make it happen.

She might say, oh, but you can do it, why won't you, don't you care about it being a special occasion, you are selfish, etc., etc.

You can say, I'm sorry you feel like that, it's not going to work for me because I want to do the tasks well that I'm already responsible for plus be there to visit with family, & I want to be sure I don't have so much on my plate (pun intended) that I'm not sure I can do those.

This might not bring instant

, but you can just say I'm sorry you feel that way, and then repeat what you said earlier. Don't feel you need to get into deep discussions of logistics & reasons. It just doesn't work for you, though she'd like it, so you need her to figure out a way to have it since she's wanting it.

These may or may not be the best actions for this situation--you will figure out what's best for you--but there are ideas from me if any are helpful.

Best wishes

 

[Buugette]

I have so been there...

You still have a couple weeks till Thanksgiving... why don't you get a small turkey and cook it? See how it comes out. Do a small one, use the bag, just remember that the real one for Thanksgiving will take longer as it will be bigger.

If you don't want to actually eat the test turkey as a turkey dinner, you can always turn it into soup, a pot pie, or whatever.

AND.... this way when you tell her at Thanksgiving that this was not the first turkey you have ever cooked... you will be telling the truth.

D