I know I am being selfish and it drives me crazy but I can't help it..

[justhatchin]

It's a pretty inconsiderate MIL who ignors her son's wife and his children. She looses out on so much. A very selfish woman!!

Maybe it's time to stand up and be heard. Be nice but voice to hubby your feelings.

There has to be give and take in a marriage. Not just interaction twice a year. Just MO.

Hope everything starts looking up for you and your family.

 

[baldie]

Quote:
Obviously because she is GREEDY and one of those people that will NEVER grow up!!!!! She is RUDE!!!!!!!!

LOL..we were typing at the same time , i think...

..

I Noticed that too!!! LOL!!! But its true, not to mention that the kids not only dont get to see their dad, but their grandparents either, thats just NOT right!!!!

 

[luvmychicknkids]

Yeah, I have unlimited everything and actually, HE has been texting me almost constantly since he got to her house.

Well, we really don't have a lot of choice about the "just interaction twice a year" part right now....trust me, we would NOT make this choice willingly. It was this or have our son live in the hospital or possibly die. It really wasn't a choice at all.

I think the main problem now is that since I only see him twice a year I have trouble bringing up the big issues when he is here. However, we talk for at least an hour every night usually longer. We talk about a lot then, but I have just never got up the nerve to bring this up. I know he will say it is eitehr go there or be alone....and that is why I feel selfish. I would rather he choose to be alone for us.

I would for him, but he isn't me.

 

[cjeanean]

I understand that he may want some time off regardless of where he goes, but I would tell her that I have to decline her tickets and will not accept them unless they were to your home so you can spend time with your kids. That's what a good, well-trained hubby would do....LOL!!! So sorry u have to deal with this....Monster in laws can be deadly...I was blessed with an awesome one, but that's probably just cause we're never around each other...Anyways, speaking of the devil, she's here....Good luck and hope it works out!!!

 

[debilorrah]

I am sure a woman like that lays big, huge, horrid, black and dark guilt trips on him for months before the decision has to be made. I kinda feel for him, but I feel for you more. You didn't get to choose his family, just him.

 

[Backyard Buddies]

In all honesty, I don't think your problem is with your MIL, although I fully understand why you'd have problems with this. The problem here is that there is a power struggle between your MIL and you for the attention for her son/your husband - and she's winning this one.

This isn't your MIL's fault entirely. She can only get away with things that he allows to happen. Until your husband learns to fight for his family, it's going to continue this way.

Trust me. I've been there, done that. And, you know what? Once my husband learned to set limits with his mom, she and I get along fabulously.

But the process to get started on this is all in his hands and as long as you let him also blame it on her, he won't take the responsibility he needs to take. It took marital counseling for us to get to that place where he could do that and both our marriage AND our relationship with his mother are better for it! But, to do so, you're going to have to also step up to the plate and find away to make peace with her as well. You and he need to be a team on this one, but it must start with him.

 

[Laskaland]

Quote:
I'm curious. what condition does your son have? How come he can live where you are and not closer to hubby? Does he need to be near a Children's hospital or something?
Christina

 

[luvmychicknkids]

LOL....believe me, cjeanean, I will work on training him better once we live in the same house again.

I always envy people with good mother's in law....I swear to be a goood one some day when my boys get married!!! I know how much the alternative can hurt.

Trust me, there is nothing that could make this woman treat me decent for any reason. Nothing her son could do. After his couple of years of not speaking to her he told her she has to apologize to me for trying to destroy our family and admit to me that she knew she was in the wrong. She called me and spent almost an hour telling me how evil I am and how I was only still with him because she allows it and that she was in the right trying to eliminate me from his life. She even told me she has proof that she is a better person than me because she has nicer clothes.

I didn't let him know. He just knows things were not worked out between us. She has weight and heart issues. I will jsut wait them out.

 

[luvmychicknkids]

Quote:
I'm curious. what condition does your son have? How come he can live where you are and not closer to hubby? Does he need to be near a Children's hospital or something?
Christina

He has severe, uncontrollable asthma. Cold and high elevations are two of his biggest triggers. My husband is stationed in Colorado. So far he has been hospitalized 8 times because of his asthma (about a week each time with one lasting a month) and he is 7.

 

[chels23]

Where does his mom live? Not the address the state