I Lost My Best Friend My Husband Bill

[chics in the sun]

I'm just checking in to see how you are doing. The first year is so very difficult. You keep crying when you need to and grieving - if you don't do it now it will come back in some other destructive way. One website I found helpful the first year after loosing my husband was Young Widows Bulleting Board. It was nice to message and post with people going through similar situations, with kids, family stuff, ect. Take a look at it and see if you might find it helpful. And hang in there - it gets better, I promise.

 

[vickibiro]

Quote:
That place has been a godsend for me, thanks for recommending it!

 

[AHappychick]

When AJ died a big piece of me died as well. Its been 5 years on Aug. 25th and although I have grown used to it I still miss him just as much. I know he is waiting for me as is your husband. The "what ifs" can destroy you as they did me so try as best you can to not blame yourself. There are no words that will take the pain away but time will make it more bearable.

 

[wolftracks]

Vicki sent me to the young widows sight. I read for a while before I joined. I've posted a couple of times. I'm trying to figure out if it helps or if it's depressing me more.I guess time will tell.

Only comedies have made it on my television for months now. Have only been able to watch those since my mom died in april. We watched "No Batteries Required" last night.Dakotah and Kayla loved it. I'm trying to get in more movies right now, since I probably won;t be able to pay for cable after this month. Figures, I can't get anything in my area that isn't a spanish talk show. I've looked for converters, but no one seems to have them right now. They keep telling me that people just buy new TVs. Yeah well our major want was a big screan and I can't even buy a cheap one now, so I'll be lost again. The Today Show is my morning fix and won't be able to watch that much longer.

I'm going to the feed store today. Feed is really low and I was going to go yesterday and the day before, but just couldn't get myself ready to do it. Today it's a must.

Monday I have to enroll Dakotah in the school he's affraid of. I hate to do it. He'll have to take a bus and he's not good at buses like me. Bill never wanted him to take the bus. Mornings was there time on the ride to school to talk. They did it again when he picked him up. When he was in kindergarten the bus driver dropped him in a park between where we lived and where his grandmother lived. We were out of town and he was supposed to get dropped off with his grandmother. A lady that met her kids at the bus stop waited around until 6:30 at night to see who have left him there. Finally she called the police and they got hold of a friend that was at our house and then his grandmother, so he was out there for all those hours alone. We didn't have a cell for anyone to call us and I don't know why his grandmother just figured he was with us. We were mad about both situations. Bill fumed till that monday when he went to every office he could to complain. The bus driver said he let him off because he was tall and didn't know he was only 5. That district now has to have a boarding pass at all times and Bill never let him on but one other bus, but when the driver screached around the corner and had kids bouncing he chased it down and drove him every day after that/ He made me promise if anything every separated us that I'd never put him on a bus again. I don't want to and Dakotah has been promised by Bill, but I can't afford the gas to this school. I'm still bugged the other just to try to get him in there instead.

OK.........much needed shower and the feed store and then I have to give a swab test for life insurance. Just enough for a burial, but it's a start. I need 4 years to get Dakotah through high school and hopefully college and then I'm hoping it will be time to be with Bill again. Just wish he'd visit me now. Somehow!

 

[Boyd]

Quote:
It was, but a very expensive reminder to myself to keep my anger in check.

 

[Mahonri]

I feel so badly that I just noticed this thread. BYC has gotten SO BIG, I can't get to all of the threads.

So sorry for your loss. It leaves a hole in your heart. Bill's spirit is alive and well and he is well aware of your thoughts and feelings and motions. Know that.

God bless you as you continue to move forward.

Dar

 

[vickibiro]

the site depressed me more in the beginning but now it is more valuable to me that just about anything I do. I love it there and draw a lot of inspiration from the people there.

 

[TheBarnSwallow]

Just saw this post and hope that you are at least fairing ok.. keep us posted as to how you are doing when you can and we hope that you will find much comfort in the days ahead since his passing. Your pain is empathy in all of our BYC hearts... just remember we are here for you.. if for anything some encouraging words and virtual hugs

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

Hey Wolf? Can Dakota carpool with some one?? Can you ask around the neighborhood or maybe at school??

Is Dakota special needs? MY FIL drives a van that picks up only three kids for school because they don't do well on the bus....... The school has to transport them if they cannot manage the bus.

One kid was driven this way because of bullying. His mother went to the school district and forced the issue. (She was not able to drive and her spouse was out of town most of the time....)

I am sorry about all of the details. I wish things did not have to change so much in so many other ways after you lose a spouse.......

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

Yoohoo Wolfie are you out there?? Maybe you are spending more time on the widow's site, but I just wanted you to know we were still here if you need us.