take your time. you've got time, he says you've got time... trusting that he means what he says is a great place to start. you can ask him to let you know if he starts to feel impatient, or like the time is running out. if he says he will, trust him... communication is a big deal in relationships, here's a good place to start.
find fun things to do together, and try to plan things that are not just the two of you... go with a group of his friends, your friends, his family, your family. things to keep it light and fun and help keep the brakes on until you're ready for a relationship again. you're right to go a little slow, it won't be fair to either of you if you jump in and find out 6 months from now it was a rebound thing... and that may be something you really can't tell just yet.
he's willing to be patient because he *KNOWS* what he wants. and he's wise enough to understand it won't work unless you *know* too. those are good qualities to start off with... trust that bit of wisdom and use the time to heal. you might want to keep the physical part of your relationship in the cooler for a while - the accompanying chemistry can keep your brain (and heart) from finishing the healing work you need to do.
my guess is, if you ask him, he'll tell you he'd rather wait and have you be sure you want to be with him, than get tangled up too soon, and then have you uncertain and torn between him and someone else (your ex or someone else.)
if he's the good guy he sounds like, and not a hormone-driven opportunist, he'll be patient.l If you go slow, then when you are sure, say yes to the next step, he will know its really about how you feel about *HIM* not just that you're hurt and lonely. and knowing it's coming from how you feel about him will make his heart sing.
how long to heal? no way to know that from here. but there are things you can do to help speed it along. cry all you need to, but don't just cry, think about what didn't work, and why. think about what did work, and why. think about what you should have seen as problems but ignored, or somehow didn't see. think about why you chose a guy who ultimatley turned out to be not a good match for you. think about what you put up with that you shouldn't have. think about what you could have given that you held back. think about how *you* were in the relationship that made it better. and made it worse. get to know yourself a bit more - how you are in relationships, what you're good at, what you're not, what you really need to do better.
because all the learning you can dredge out of the last relationship will benefit the next one.
when you get an 'ah-HA' about your past relationship(s), maybe talk them through with this friend, get his take, learn how he is in those kinds of situations. talk about how *you* could do that differently, how you can develop the areas where you're not so skilled, or not so strong. a good friend, something you want from a husband, can help you grow, help you become your better self. it's good when partners have similar ideas and strengths, but it's also good when they have complementary strengths too.
anyway, go slower than you think you need to, take your time, use your recent loss as a source of enlightenment. in my experience, pain is a teacher. when we get it, really embrace the lesson the pain is there to teach us, the pain evaporates. dig in, get your lessons, it will free your heart to choose where to be, and bring with it the gift of being just a little wiser.
