I'm not one to normally do this, but I really need to talk to someone. I am pretty much a hermit and anymore BYC, my mom and my chickens are my life. Here we go... Firstly, I have nearly 100 chickens again with about 20 that needs to be processed in the next month. I am working on building that darn coop on my BYC page yet and it's so slow going because I just keep running into problem after problem after problem. I need to fix this current housing issue I have with my babies. I sold our pony, but 5 weeks later and he's still here and I am not being paid board or anything. I am still looking for a home for Buddy, my horse. I am getting desperate at this point and I may just sell him to the Amish and hope he doesn't kill anyone and they don't kill him. I have never shared his story, but the short version is this: My mom bought him as a 1 1/2yr old. He was beaten by two or more men in a stall. They rode him as a yearling and he has spur scars on his side and saddle rub marks on his withers. It took us a month to get him to the point of touching him. Another year to be able to be in a stall with him without him trying to defend himself. It took nearly 6yrs to be able to pick up his back legs safely. We have rode him, but 8 of the 10 rides ended horribly. My mom's boyfriend shattered his leg and ankle coming off of him. My mom had him for 5yrs and she sold him and his two pasture mates to an even worse home than she bought him from. I bought him back in four days. I have had him for almost 6yrs and he's still just a pasture ornament. He's solid on all his ground work and he's a real gentleman on the ground (my son literally hangs off his butt trying to brush him). Once a saddle comes out, he's a totally different horse. My landlady died last week. She was diagnosed with cancer about two months ago, so she went fast. I don't know what's going on with her estate and none of her kids/grandkids have been around to let me know anything. I don't even know who to get a hold of to pay my rent. We are looking for a place to move and I have some issues. One, the horse. Two, 100-ish chickens and I can't bring myself to part with any of them (I am actually planning on getting more in the next couple of months). Three, can't afford a lot and the natural gas companies around here have made finding a nice, cheap place to live impossible to find. Four, we have NO money to move right now at all. So, I have all of this weighing on my mind. I was hoping she was going to make it until closer to October/November. I hope it takes awhile to settle her estate because we are in one heck of a tough place. Of course, it's back to school time. I just spent over $500 on back to school shopping that I would have rather of spent on moving or fixing one of the two vehicles. I'm not even done... I have at least another $300 worth of clothes to buy. I am just glad Old Navy has their $10 jean sale every year. I am also glad that our school supplies all the supplies they need. Some little snot nosed idiots decided to smash our mailbox last night. No one else got it. I am assuming it's personal or they thought the house was empty (and I think this is the answer since Mary died). A month or so ago someone parked at the end of our drive and threw out beer cans and then bored out through my yard leaving marks and ruts in my yard. I'm truly sick of living here anyways. I am considering putting up no trespassing signs and sitting out there with a baseball bat. We have inquired about a nice 1.5 acre property with two large sheds, two car garage and a 3 bed, 1 bath 14x75 trailer on a foundation. He wants to much, but if they'd allow us to buy on an article of agreement for 2yrs and he comes down $5-10k, we may be able to do it. I still have to worry about how I am going to house all of my chickens until something can be built (and where would that money come from, anyways?). I don't like the fact that it's right on the road, either. With this once again unsteady economy, I am worried about buying, too. And a trailer. I was so hoping I'd never go back to that again. We have been in this farm house almost 4yrs and we have accumulated so much! The idea of moving and trying to figure out how we'd move it all and then store it in a trailer...! My husband's work slows this time of year, so from September until February we struggle. I have issues, I won't deny it, and at least twice in these hard 5 months I have a serious emotional breakdown over finances and divorce is threatened. And now I have to worry about being removed from the house before we can afford it! I should have figured something was going to happen. We haven't had any serious drama to cause me panic attacks in about a year. Yay! I'm so excited!