I really needed to read this

[saddina]

What we do is have a list (flylady.com) of what needs to done each day, it's next to the fridge, then as we go we do it together. Example laundry and dishes get done daily, so I'll swap the loads of washing, while he loads the dishwasher, takes 15mins if we each do job, then we can snuggle on the sofa with some tea and Tivo for the 45mins the cycle takes, pause the show when the timer buzzes, empty washer and dryer, meet on the sofa to fold together while watching tv.

http://flylady.com/

Add: if one of us is tight on time (writing a paper or needs to read a chapter for college) we can pass our chores for that day onto the other person, but that's an occasional thing, not to be abused.

 

[ScoobyRoo]

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Nip it in the bud before it is too late. I got up made breakfast and packed a lunch, kept house and schedules for DH for 8 yrs (I worked full time too). Was pregnant with first child, quit making breakfast but continued to work and pack lunches and all of the above. Became a SAHM and I too, felt that I should do all the work since we were self employed. (I did all the bookwork and worked the phone) while he did the physical part (machine operator) 3 kids and 13 yrs later, I went back to work part time. I was expected to still do it all even though he was not busy with work (we did new housing and that is not going anywhere at the moment

) He now helps with the laundry, takes our son to football practice does a few meals and dishes sometimes. I am so ever grateful that he helps. However, it took a lot of screamimg, crying and beer/margaritas

to get where we are now! He will fall in a rut sometimes and I have to 'ask' AGAIN! BTW some men are NOT always good listeners. It takes the right moment to really get him to listen. Good luck!

 

[AK Michelle]

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Looks like a great site Saddi. Thanks!

 

[saddina]

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Looks like a great site Saddi. Thanks!

What I like is that it tells you to break it into managable chunks of 15 mins. My mom is one of those women who does all housework on Sat. mornings, for 3-5 hours and complains the whole time, but if someone tries to help it's not good enough. I didn't want my sons to expect thier wives to do it all. Today's lesson: how to make coffee, and yes I drank thier attempts.

 

[Chickenmaven]

I got a cold chill when I read about wives and their honey-do lists. The article perfectly explains the demise of my BFF's marriage! It was very sad. She is a perfectionist and she sorta nagged him right out of her bed.

Texasgal- my DH is critical like yours. I threw down the gauntlet years ago. Told him: "If you delegate it, you no longer control it." Now it is his joking little mantra. Both men & women are guilty of being demanding perfectionists. It has to be done "right". At what cost????? My friend lives w/o a companion in her spotless home. Whatever floats your boat, I suppose. I do feel that perfectionism is the prison of the insecure.

Gals - if you are tired, do the laundry tomorrow.

 

[Southernbelle]

I like www.flylady.net and her system does work really well! It's a wonderful tool to help a person get organized.

 

[AK Michelle]

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Does that mean you've used it?

 

[Southernbelle]

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Does that mean you've used it?

Yes and still do, to an extent. It really is amazing how it changes your attitude about housework. I have her book Sink Reflections, too. I bought a lot of items from her shop, too, they really go above and beyond to make sure they have the best products.
I have:
calender (with stickers) - I buy one every year, nothing else will do
timers
both dusters - LOVE them
towels
wallet - love that it fits in my pocket
lanyard for my keys - now I don't lose them
rubba scrubba - works really good on sinks
Toms car duster

The Saving Dinner site is awesome, too. www.savingdinner.com I've subcribed to the Menu Mailers before. The Body Clutter one is awesome.

I don't have a problem getting my housework done. The kids areas (rooms and playrooms) are often messy, but the main living areas are usually tidy. My issues are mostly my husbands attitude towards me.

 

[riftnreef]

I would like to spend some time with the lady that wrote the article and remind her it's not always the lady of the house that ends up doing it all. Mommas got it made, and I don't typically complain. I do the bulk of the cooking, all the landry...we've been married 13 years and I don't think she has ever mopped a floor or cleaned the toilet, in fact she had to ask me how to turn on the sweaper a couple years ago. In her defense, she did try when we were newlyweds, but having just come out of the military I was a bit on the picky side and just went behind her and re-did it any way. I have tried over the years to give her "chores", but her and the kids have learned that dad has NO patience, so if they wait long enough, he will do it himself. Pathetic I know!

 

[saddina]

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I can't get the carpet vaccummed enough for mr saddi, (I don't move furnature when I vaccumm) so he picks that and mopping, he hates doing laundry so I take that one.