I swear, this will be the final time I vent!

[Ec_Prokta]

All right, so I finally figured out what I need to change about myself. You see, I somehow got it through my head that a person's worth is measured by their intelligence, and if someone/I gets a question wrong, fails a test, and/or a plethora of other things, it means the person is worthless and idiotic, and would be better off dead.

No wonder half of my day is spent by crying.

So, all I have to do is tell Mom, and we can work it out. Sounds good, huh? Well, I can't. She's a religious Catholic, and, because of a rather long and depressing story I won't tell, I'm agnostic atheist. I haven't told her, and don't plan to for a while. So, when I tell her that I used to think a person's intelligence is all that matters, she'll catch on to the fact I'm not religious. And then... I don't even want to think of what would happen.

So, what do I do to overcome the issue of thinking that a person's worth is dependent on their intelligence without telling my mother?

 

[pdsavage]

Your her daughter she should love you as you are not as she wants you to be.

Being a teen is the hardest time in your life your learning who you are and what you stand for.

Some times parents expect more from thier kids then they do them self.I have seen parents act like orgs to their kids/others and then expect the kids to act more mature and respectfull.

Be strong and remain true to yourself and remember she will fight who you are becoming because it scares her.The unknown scares alot of people.


Famous People with Learning Disabilities

http://childcare.ygoy.com/2009/06/17/famous-people-with-learning-disabilities/

 

[eenie114]

First order of business:

Remember that all us BYCers love you, and so does your mom.
Second: A learning disability does not mean you're worthless. I myself am repeating a year in math right now. Everybody struggles in some way.
Keep going, PK. There's a light at the end of your tunnel. I promise.

 

[ruby]

Parents don't know what to do! I have two grown children and I can't always understand what they do... but they are individuals very different people. I love them both. But I really had to come to a realization they should be themselves. And my teen years were bad, but I always thought there is another day, another chance, another time that would be different than the last, better or worse,., but there is always another day. please keep on ranting tho..... ruby

 

[gritsar]

Quote:
This ^^^^ and

 

[Ec_Prokta]

Quote:

Thanks, Eenie and everyone.

Actually, I don't have a learning disability... I don't think, anyway. I mean, although it hasn't been confirmed yet, I may have a little bit of bi-polar disorder and Aspergers.

 

[AhBee01]

So, when I tell her that I used to think a person's intelligence is all that matters, she'll catch on to the fact I'm not religious. And then... I don't even want to think of what would happen.

So how will saying that you don't think a person's intelligence is all that matters, will make her think you are not religious anymore? I'm confused.i was baptized catholic but don't practice my faith, my Mom got over it and she still loves me, I do believe in God just not what I learned growing up catholic!​

 

[michickenwrangler]

You are young and you will get older and become your own person.

Doing well on pencil & papers tests is not a good measure of intelligence. I'm a teacher and I see plenty of bright students do poorly on tests. This does not mean they are idiots and worthless. They just don't take tests well or maybe it just isn't their subject. Like a previous poster, I struggled with math even into college. My students chuckled at me the other day when I was talking about the Maya calendar and multiplies 20 x 13 (20 symbols, 13 days) to come up with 280. A student pointed out that it was 260. Oops!
My religion is very different than the "Football Catholic" I was raised so I understand completely.



You have other talents.

Is there another adult you can talk to? An aunt/uncle, older sibling, school counselor?

YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS. Be strong.

 

[Ec_Prokta]

Michickenwrangler, no I do not have any one else to talk to. I am the eldest, my aunts and uncles are Catholic, and I am homeschooled, so no counselor here. I'm looking for an online one, though.

 

[michickenwrangler]

Quote:
When DH and I were first dating, both of his parents died, he was hurt badly at work and had to go on disability and also had to sell his horse to pay medical bills. He suffered severe depression after that, he was able to go to the county and gets free counseling once a month and it does help him. Control freak that I am, I was at first peeved that he could talk to her and not to me, but this hopefully shouldn't be an issue for you.

But I would bust out the yellow pages and look in the blue pages for Community Mental Health and call and explain your situation.

Another thought, is there a Unitarian Universalist church in your area? Even though they are nominally Christian, their faith encourages skepticism, questioning and tolerance of other religions. I as an 18 yr old pagan, attended one of their services, felt completely welcome and was impressed with their tolerance and understanding.

PLEASE, no one argue with me about the UU church. This is just a suggestion I am making to the OP so that she may find others who may help her. If anyone wishes to argue or rebutt, please do it in a PM.