I think my stepdaughter is stealing from us

[gritsar]

I don't have any proof, but I have a strong suspicion. I really can't talk to DH about it, because like alot of fathers he refuses to see anything but an angel when he looks at her.
DSD #2 has been spending alot of time up here. She usually shows up at mealtime and then leaves as soon as the meal is over or (if she's fighting with her mom, whom she lives with) crashes on our couch and leaves in the morning.
Little things are disappearing. Change from our change jars, an entire large pack of photo paper, her dad's cigarettes. All she has to do is ask and these things would be giving to her, but she won't ask for whatever reason.
DH's ex is a thief, plain and simple. When DH's mom was staying with them (the ex and DH) while mom was in the last stages of her terminal cancer, the ex stole thousands of dollars from mom. She stole from DH too. He was naive enough to allow her to handle their finances for awhile and didn't know she wasn't paying the bills until their house was foreclosed on and utilities started getting shut off. She (the ex) did all of this because she has a need for things and didn't want to get a job to buy them. She has a sense of entitlement that the world owes her everything, that from what I'm told goes back to her childhood as the youngest when everyone doted on her.
Anyhow, back to the SD. She had earned her way up to keyholder at her job until money started disappearing from the registers. Her key was taken away. She's told her sister and her dad that the key was taken away just cuz the manager doesn't like her. She's blaming all her problems on an ex boyfriend that she broke up with over a year ago. He didn't take care of HER things, he didn't take care of HER animals, etc. It's HIS fault that her finances are in a mess.
She's really ticked off at me for insisting that she do the dishes last night, which she ended up conning her older sister into doing for her. As bad as it sounds, I'm hoping this means that she'll stay away for awhile. DH will still see her while he's working and I know he'll be giving poor poor her money, because she hasn't found a way to finance her party lifestyle and living expenses at the same time. Not much I can do about that, it's his money.
I for one refuse to enable her anymore, but I don't know what to do about her stealing other than to watch her closely when she's here.

 

[jerseygirl1]

Yikes, that is too bad - I had an ex who's nephew got caught with his hand in my purse at a family function one time - I mentioned it to him and he just chuckled - Notice, I said EX.......
It's such a tender subject, I'm sure, since she's daddy's little girl. Maybe she has deep-rooted emotional issues..............I feel for you, since if I were in your shoes, I would do the same as you suggested, watch everything closely that isn't nailed down, and put away anything of value.

 

[Marlinchaser]

I guess calling a cop, wouldnt work in this situation.

 

[froggie71]

Hmmm.... do they make change jars that would turn your hand red if someone tries to steal? Could be a new invention if not. Sorry for your situation. It's a tough one.

 

[Elite Silkies]

I feel for you, because I went through some of the same things. It almost ended in a Divorce before my DH saw the true side of his DD.

 

[PurpleChicken]

Set a trap and catch her red handed

or

Lock up your stuff and stay out of it.

Don't think your hubby doesn't know. He does. He probably just doesn't know what to do about it.

 

[gritsar]

Quote:
Nope, but her cop daddy and I will be having a talk.
This girl really blows my mind. I watched her pour a glass of tea last night and spill about half of it on the counter. She picked up her glass and walked away, not bothering to wipe up what she spilled, even though the paper towels were inches away. She sits down in a chair, gets up and walks away, expecting somebody to come behind her and push the chair in. Same thing with the pillows and blankets she uses to crash on our couch; she gets up and leaves them laying there.
I really am starting to believe that she has some kind of emotional or mental problem.

 

[PurpleChicken]

Quote:
You think?

 

[lilshadow]

Could you set up a camera of some type? This is what I did and even had a movie night once. It works like a charm.

 

[Camelot Farms]

I would lock up anything I didnt want stolen...jewelry etc...while you are trying to figure it out.

My BFF was in your shoes a while ago. Her DSS stole jewelry from her 1st marriage that was supposed to go to her daughter at her wedding as well as some other family pieces. Her DH was in denial too til he got caught red handed somewhere else and was arrested. Her DH never did confront the boy about the theft at their home and she says that even after 4 years, its still a sore spot between them. And she didnt get her jewelry back.

Sad situation for all.

So sorry that this is happening...