I think my stepdaughter is stealing from us

[gritsar]

Quote:
Walk out? Sorry but you have no way of knowing the level of commitment DH and I have with each other. We have an extraordinary relationship, except for this recent problem with his youngest. It would take alot more than this "speedbump" on the road of our life together before either of us would walk out.
He knows the problem exists, just not the full extent of it. In the truest sense of the word, hers is not a "money" problem, it's a lying, cheating, immaturity problem.
We'll figure out how best to deal with it. I just wanted the valuable input from my BYC friends and I thank them for it.

 

[Chickie'sMoma]

i'd say it is time to get some intervention with a shrink for her. it could be she has some serious mental issues that only they would be able to help decipher and make her aware of. if her mother was so bad it might be something to mention that she is heading down the same path, and it might scare her into thinking of a change.

it sounds as if you and the dh may need to speak to someone professional like a family psych or a pastor of a church. they could give you some better advise or ideas that they know have worked.

 

[cassie]

You might want to read the book The Sociopath Next Door. See if it fits. You can get it on amazon.com.

 

[debilorrah]

My step kids steal stuff too. So now we take cigarettes to the room at night, keep change in there and all my makeup and hair products - the door gets locked if we even so much as go out to feed the birds. The worst part is they don't see it as stealing!!!

Sara takes my makeup with the intention of "putting it back" but it never gets put back. She see nothing wrong with not asking either. Now she has no choice because it is all locked up.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
Wait a sec. This is a full grown woman that is stealing and lying. I told my hubby and he looked shocked and then it hit him - his stuff was missing too!

When you marry someone, they come first. Period. Especially when the children are grown for Pete's sake!!!!!

 

[usschicago1]

This is all i can say. She is probably more computer-literate than you & could very well find this thread. I would have never posted this online.

 

[gritsar]

Quote:
Exactly! As much as he loves his daughters he's fully aware that DSD #2 doesn't bother to call or come over unless she wants something. He knows his daughters would not put their lives on hold to take care of him. He knows that I will always be here, because he is #1 in my life; ahead of my own grown children.

 

[gritsar]

Quote:
That's not something I have to worry about, trust me.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
I am willing to bet that at least 70% of this community has posted family issues on this board looking for some advise and a hug. I doubt that someone who has no interest in chickens whatsoever would bother to sign up here just to spy on someone who she probably has no idea what her screen name even is!!

Now, my name is my name - and if my stepkids take the time to sign up to read what I say then more power to them.

 

[rainplace]

gristar, I think you're doing the right thing. My husband came into the picture when two of my boys were older. He saw things sometimes that I couldn't or wouldn't see and when he informed me, I got defensive and angry. Him pointing it out to me did not make me see it. Instead it made me more protective over my boys. If my husband wasn't so darn awesome, it could have been a mess we couldn't have worked ourselves out of. My oldest son was stealing it turns out, but I had to see it for myself. In the meantime, my husband discreetly locked the stuff he cared about up. I think part of my denial is that I've always felt that our children are reflections on us as parents. To see my son as a thief felt like I hadn't raised him right...i.e. when my husband was telling me that my son was stealing, I heard, "you failed at raising him correctly." Does that make sense?