I want a hen harness - is there such a thing?

If you're looking for bug control, guineas would be the best, from what I've seen mosquitoes will eat off the chicken's faces/combs before the chickens will try to eat them. The chickens will dig up your garden for you though and eat anything you plant. (In process of chicken proofing this year's garden spots.)

You can go ahead and try it, and report back if it worked or not for you.
 
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We have two guineas but someone complained to animal control so we have to keep them in a tractor. The more familiar the environment, the less noise they make.
 
Buckeye is being harness trained:
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