i want to cry, not sure why

[key west chick]

So, yesterday my 20 year old DD decides she wants to meet her biological father. They last saw each other when she was about 4. We were never married and he was never a part of her life. I e-mailed him this morning, only way I had. He called me back. We talked for almost 2 hours. He would love to see her and shes thrilled. I'm just not sure how I feel. I've always known she would some day want to see him. But talking with him has brought up a whole bunch of memories he and I shared together. He's been divorced for a few years and I'm well on my way to one. We talked like it had been only yesterday and not 16 years. I'm glad she can finally see her other side but I am having feelings surface that have been hidden for 20 years. Oh well,I just needed a kind word and some encouragement. This is harder than I thought it would be.

 

[Whispering Winds]

I am not trying to get something started here, but I am a realtor, and I have had two sets of clients get hooked back up with someone they had lost contact with for years . . .stranger things could happen.

 

[redhen]

Ya never know!...everything happens for a reason...

 

[key west chick]

We were so young when she was born, he was only 19. I lived with my parents in a different state and he really couldnt do anything. When I married my DH 15 years ago, DH adopted her. We have lived in the same town all these years but she never wanted to meet him, until now. Its just more emotional than I thought it would be.

 

[Schultz]

Sometime is takes a strong person to let this happen. I met my daughter for the first time last year after giving her up for adoption when I was 19. Her parents made such a difficult choice to allow us to meet but we have been like mom and daughter since! It did bring back alot of, in my case, bad feelings but I charged right in and didn't look back! I guess what I am saying is that I can understand both sides and I hope it's a happy reunion!

 

[chilling in muscadine]

Your daughter does need to see her real dad whatever the cirumstances may be. Its a shame they have missed out on so much time but I know things happen sometimes.

Anytime you see an old friend it brings up old memories weather being just a friend or a lover. You "mom" will have to be the strong one in the whole ordeal. Should I say sucking it up. No offence meant here.

I know talking with a old lover always stirs up incrediable feelings. You say he is divorced and you are on you way to that point. Just sounds like to me reading your short post you guys might want to get back together.

A word of advice is if you are getting out of your marriage, take things slow. We tend to jump into relationships that may or may not be healthy for us after a breakup. {rebound}

As you are having these feeling they are quite normal to have. How you ack on them is the key. I'm truely happy for your daughter and I hope you work this out for yourself. If I have been wrong about my perception of the situation than ''EXCUSE ME."
Keep us informed and we are here if you need to talk!

Sara

 

[key west chick]

Well, we all 3 went to lunch today. It was rather weird for me, more so than for them. After lunch, they went to the mall together. I haven't heard from them, I guess they have lots to talk about. I can tell he is sorry he has missed out on all these years but, I did what I thought was best for her. I couldnt have him pop in and out of her life as he pleased. My DH has been a good dad all these years and to her, thats her dad. I'm just not sure where this one will fit in.

 

[CityClucks]

I understand that this is an emotional time for you. It's disrupting to your life and the way things have been, so of course you're going to have strong feelings - plus bringing up stuff from the past. Your daughter is starting a relationship with her father - it may be new and exciting for her, and I can understand if you feel a little left out and lost. Hugs to you. Prayers that this all turns out for the best for all involved.

 

[Chicks R Friends NOT Food]

Quote:
I'm glad that you had courage enough to do this. From presonal experience, a step dad won't ever replace a biological father. There is a differentbond for each the same way bonds between mother and father are different. He fits in a special place probably for the "dad I didn't know", just like your husband will fit into the place of the "dad that was always there" and you the mom that could be supportive even though it's uncomfortable. Hope this helped. I'm glad that at least he wanted to see her again and you let it happen. Hang in there!

 

[BellLisamo]

i will probably be in this same situation when my daughter gets older. my daughter is 3 1/2 and her bio dad signed his rights away.... i dont think shell ever really know about him unless she digs through my important papers.... i dont know if i should tell her when she gets older or not. My husband has been "daddy" from day one.


im sorry to hear about your situation, i cant imagine how hard it is. not only for her but for you