Well I dont have kids yet so I can't chime in regarding the award. But I did have fun reading the stories.
The butter incident, well my brother beat that hands down.
He was 2.. Mom was preggers with me, still with morning sickness and such. Brother got put down in his crib for a nap... after some time Mom opened up the door to a nightmare. He had pooed in his diaper, taken it off.. and used the poo as finger paint. He got the crib plastered with 'paint', his face, and the walls streaked with it. Mom took one look, shut the door, and went to go retch in the toilet. She made my father go look at what he had done... he came back and refused to help clean it up. So mom suffered the horror of dragging that crib outside, hosing it down, and the kid, and wanting to be sick the whole time. Poor momma. This was the same kid who had all the child-proof devices figured out as a toddler. Mom had to call him over and ask him to help her plug the vaccum in, and open the cupboard for the cleaning supplies, LOL. He used the ears of his Mickey mouse alarm clock to pry up the floor air vents, and then crawled down it head first and got stuck. Mom came into the room to see her toddler with only his legs sticking out of the floor.
When I was a few months old... We had to go in to the doctor for one of us kids.. and the doctor left the room. Mom had to change my diaper, so she was turned around messing with the diaper and fussing over me. The doctor finally came back in the room and said something that got her attention.. and she whirled around to see that while she was distracted... brother had climbed up on the counter, found some handy little items, and set about dismantling the doctors sink. It was in peices, the faucet off and the handles seperate... and Mom hadn't heard a thing. LOL! That boy was a terror. Before he was 5 he had almost drowned himself in the pond in the dead of winter.. got hit by lightning (while sitting on his bicycle and holding a rain gutter)... ran between a horses legs while she was spooked at a snake (fortunately, she was a marvelous girl and froze when he did that)... fell off the top of the highest bale of hay on a fully loaded trailer.. onto the ground.... Oh it goes on. Nevermind the things he did after 5.....
Me? I was perfect! Hehehehe!
Mom never did stand for those supermarket meltdowns either... though I never threw one... but brother would be told he had 5 seconds to cut it out or he would have his pants pulled down and his butt spanked in front of everyone in the store... geee the looks people will give you for saying that.
I, on the other hand... had a giggling problem in stores. Something about having a fun girls outing and maybe a cookie.. Mom and I shared our sense of humor back then... so once, when I was 10, she said something, I dont even know what... and I giggled sporadically for the entire shopping trip, and it was a big shop too.... all the way around the store, with people giving me strange looks, but I just couldn't stop myself. So, finally, we get to the checkout.. and the fellow doing the bagging brings up a small paper bag, snaps it open, and hands it to me... he says he heard me coming all the way around the store and I better try to breathe before I hyperventilate.
