If I throw the baby shower ....

[MandyH]

If you and your daughter are in agreement and are happy, then everybody else should suck it up or hit the road. Thank GOD I have a great MIL, who happened to riase her son right and is a wonderful husband/dad. Has MIL always been psychotic or is it just started because she is having a grandchild?

 

[Mandalina]

i am a meany pants and would tell her MIl where the closest bridge is.....

besides, it is perfectly ok to have more than one shower for the first baby. she can have one at your house with your side of the family and friends, then her MIL can throw her one with her family. it is pretty common.


and you live close to me and i love it. there isnt nearly enough MO peeps on here lol.

 

[The Chicken People]

Yes I suggested two showers ..DD wants one! I told her you may not get what you want then cuz I dont think I will bend on this one!
I would even offer to push her off that bridge like she pushed our kids to get married! JK!

 

[PineappleMama]

You stood by and let another woman plan YOUR daughter's wedding and now you're the unreasonable one... that's a load of hooey.

BTW I LOVE that hunny pot idea. That is TOO cute, and something that can be used again later to continue the fun... awesome.

Maybe the MIL is afraid that she'll end up being outshined? Just the couple bits you've mentioned it sounds like you're an awesome party planner... first she's outshined by your daughter... her son 'abandoned' her to marry the girl... now his new 'mom' is planning this awesome party for 'his' baby... could be some serious insecurity issues.

What about a Father In Law? You haven't mentioned that... does your DD have one? Or is MIL a widow? or Divorced? That could also add to the makeup. If it's only been Mom and Son for many years... oh man, then you add codependency too...

Sounds to me like you are being loving and supportive of your daughter and I think that's the absolute best thing you can do, especially since it sounds like she's really going to need that support system.

 

[MomtoSyd&Emma]

hmmmm this sounds like my sister and her inlaws, they plan it ALL for everyone. If MIL wants to throw the fricking shower let her, let her spend the money on everything, you walk in looking like a band box and with a gift, that way YOU can sit back and enjoy YOUR daughter that you gave birth to and dont have to BUY unlike the MIL (omg I have the MIL from hell)

MY MIL sent Dh a Christmas card that read to Chris and his TWO girls meaning our daughters NOWHERE was my name or anything mentioned. Then on our daughters 4th bday a few weeks ago she sent her a card and in it wrote "Sorry this is all there is your birthday is to close to Christmas and we are broke"

HAH they make twice what we make, and like I told DH I wouldnt of thought a thing about it IF SHE HADNT WROTE IT IN A FOUR YEAR OLDS CARD!! AhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhK

 

[The Chicken People]

Her step FIL is a nice guy as far as I know. DD said if MIL comes to shower it will be because step FIL made her. Well, If she dont want to come then dont! I am inviting my SIL's biologic father as well! I like him. He wore his biker boots with tux to the wedding! I really don't care what her insecurities are...she can get over them! I had to go to Oklahoma the weekend of the wedding for a funeral and didn't even get to attend the rehersal (SP?) I will not take a back seat any longer! My friends and family will attend and some of hers will as well! MIL's own mother went to my MIL funeral in November. I know she will be at the baby shower! This party will be hosted by my Dh and I at our home in the country! Bring your fishing pole if ya want the ponds open! Just stay outta the chicken coops or its on!!

 

[AmCanyonStables]

Quote:
Oh, I just have to tell you this family story we have been telling for years - when I was preg. w/ my daughter Hannah (now 23), we told my Mom what we were going to name her. She then said "I don't like the name Hannah, I'm not going to call her that".
Without missing a beat, my husband turned to her and said
"OK, then you can call her long distance!"

 

[The Chicken People]

LOL!!

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Mixed showers are becoming more and more common, especially when they are family showers. I think, though that you need to tackfully say that you are planning the shower for your home, and are not willing to use the park (if DD knows why it brings up sad memories, remind her--if not, just say that you do not like it. If there is an alternate location that you are comfortable with you can give her that option, but that is your choice.

Remind her that MIL did all the wedding coordination, and that now it is your turn. Refer her to an ettiquette book or three. You might look at the library for etiquette books that are specific to showers and parties. (But don;t be surprised to discover that close family is NOT supposed to host showers

)

 

[Camelot Farms]

DD does know that this is only going to be worse AFTER the baby comes right?

If the MIL is controlling now, wait til she starts usurping DD's parenting.

Bless her heart...she's in for a long road....