I'm SO sick of bullies! Are you?!

[phaethona]

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Oh but I do! I have three daughters, and their father used to be an MMA trainer, they will hold their own(and protect each other) and are encouraged to do so when neccessary.

 

[chicmom]

I graduated from high school way back in 1982. There will always be bullies.

My son is 17, and he has been bullied alot during his school years. I think he's the most wonderful, best kid in the whole world. I try to teach my kids to be kind to others and mind their manners. Keep your hands to yourself.....all those things. I started when they were young.

Alot of parents do not teach their kids to be kind to others anymore. If you're not one of the beautiful people or one of the popular kids in school, you will be bullied. And it is soooo sad. Kids get verbally and physically abusive in school, and it gets worse in high school.

Parents need to make sure that they connect with their kids on a daily basis in order to make sure their kids are feeling well and happy. One thing I try to drive home with my kids is that reacting to a bully is only giving them what they want. It's like rewarding the bully. I tell them, in reality, the bully is very insecure, and a bully only gets a feeling of power when they make someone else feel bad. So the key is to not react to the bully. This is very difficult, and it's especially hard it the bully begins to get physical. Then teachers need to step in. Teachers really have alot on their plates, but more than anything, they have to keep their eyes open and punish these bullies.

You're very insightful to talk to your mom about your little sis being a bully.

Good for you!

 

[EweSheep]

Right now I got a daughter that has some "aggression issues" that is borderline bullying toward other kids. What gets me that the teachers in her school has NOT informed me when she slapped a kid in the face for "talking back" and and she punched a kid in the stomach on another day!

I told her teacher she needs to let me know because of her cousin who is seven years older than her, bullying her around and dd thought it was ok to bully other kids. We have told her again and again that it is not the right thing to do. The teachers did not inform me because they "caught the end piece" of the action, seeing dd doing something bad, not what it provokes her to act against another kid. I told the teacher that we were all in family counseling for three years because of hubby's family issues and he was bullied in school as well that trickled into our dd's behavior thinking it was ok to do that.

Tomorrow we are going to take her to the family doctor so we can nip this bullying behavior in the bud...needed to get a pyschologist referrel. I hated parents saying to us that it is normal for kids to pick on each other but I do not encourage violence or do some physical harm to a kid. She can be all mouth and has the "last word" in....hubby and her are like siblings so it does not help matters. DD is 6 years old and in 1st grade. Her teacher did commented that she was using her size and weight to her advantage. I wished a kid in her class would knock her down a peg or two. Hubby tried to tell her bullying is BAD and it hurts everyone.

As a mom, I would like to hide until she graduates from high school. Such HARD work parenting!

 

[Cindiloohoo]

EweSheep~ My youngest went through that phase. That is when parents need to step in. When I was told DD6(at the time) had said something to another little girl her age, about being prettier than her after a pageant they were in at the school...I CRAWLED DD, took her to that kids house, and made her apologize to both the child, and parents, and told her next time I would take her trophy away because beauty is not only outside but inside too. If she was being ugly from the inside, she did not deserve the trophy. She understood, and never did that again. That same little girl, became a friend of hers that year and slept over a few times. My DD is now 13, and remembers that like it was yesterday

Your DD will be fine, now that she is learning it's not okay to act like that.

Good job stepping in and nipping the problem before it gets any bigger!

 

[EweSheep]

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I was bullied in school as well but I've got enough sense not to bully anyone...even my counselor said that I'm very laid back and taking things in stride, walking away from them to defuse the bullying behaviors in school. It really ticked the bullies off. I was not popular but handicapped. With one person having a handicap, it is an easy target.

DD goes to a Christian school and gets Bible study three times a week, she is still an aggressive girl (borderline bully as the teacher quoted her). It would make my day if someone in her class would knock her high horse from the pedestal. Even the teachers were saying OBEY YOUR PARENTS even they are wrong. Well that didn't stick her head at all, it bounced off.

 

[FarmerJamie]

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Cindi, I agree completely. As one of the youngest boys in my class, I got a lot of crap. One day the gym locker room, I gave one of my tormentors a bloody lip. No one told and the bully was asked next period what happened to his lip (I was in class with him). He looked right at the teacher and said he slipped in the shower. end of story, but I found out later the gym teacher had actually witnessed it, but didn't say a word.

My son is a gentle giant - my advice to him has been to give three verbal warnings, each with a little more intensity. If that doesn't stop the issue, take care of it. He had gotten into trouble twice in grade school because he stepped in twice to protect kids that where being bullied extensively. No punching, just a gentle push to get their attention. Zero tolerance policies resulted in punishment, but he took it with a smile, because he felt in his heart he did the right thing. Oh yeah, there is one little girl who thinks he's a dreamy white knight for saving her from getting bullied by two older boys.

Local tragedies that I think highlight your point of nowhere to turn.
http://www.newser.com/story/102484/at-ohio-school-4-bullied-teens-lost-to-suicide.html

 

[jasonm11]

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DD is now 13? What is DD mean?

 

[Cindiloohoo]

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DD is now 13? What is DD mean?

DD=Dear Daughter

 

[KCchickens]

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Awww! I'm so happy there are parents like you out there! What are those parents teaching those children? That it's ok to treat people like that? Well the. Those kids will grow up teaching that that's ok and bullying is something that's alright.... I think it's scary.
It makes me almost not want to have kids just to skip out on all the hassle of possibly having to deal with this stuff in the future.
But I couldn't pass on those little cute babies! And to teach them respect and kindness..... And about chickens!

 

[EweSheep]

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When dd was in pre school, I've asked the teachers again from time to time and teacher's and parents conferences this: Have my daughter getting along with her peers? Has she any indictations of bullying others?

ALL of them said she is fine, she is learning, blah blah blah. Now this teacher has the "balls" to inform me that she did these things to the kids. Glad she told me and she could sense the tension between hubby and dd......I glared at hubby big time and "reap what you sow" like of thing. AND I am taking control of the issue at hand even hubby does not think she needs intervene.