I'm SO sick of bullies! Are you?!

[jasonm11]

Quote:
DD is now 13? What is DD mean?

DD=Dear Daughter

okay i use LS a lot.

 

[KCchickens]

Quote:
HEY! I was middle child and got the mess beat out of me by BOTH my siblings! Anytime I had disagreement with one, the other got involved. Middle child is a crappy position. My brother tried to throw me in a bonfire when I was 12, my sister made my life hell just by being the favorite and telling lies to get me in trouble. If SHE did something, she told my parents I did it!!!

I'm sorry i couldn't help it! I'm not condoning it! That's horrible! I'm the eldest and I always got blamed for everything! It sucked

. The middle child in our family was pretty much.... I can't say forgotten but left out of arguments and stuff. The youngest.... Got out of everything!

I'm what you call the "practice child"

 

[Cindiloohoo]

Quote:
When dd was in pre school, I've asked the teachers again from time to time and teacher's and parents conferences this: Have my daughter getting along with her peers? Has she any indictations of bullying others?

ALL of them said she is fine, she is learning, blah blah blah. Now this teacher has the "balls" to inform me that she did these things to the kids. Glad she told me and she could sense the tension between hubby and dd......I glared at hubby big time and "reap what you sow" like of thing. AND I am taking control of the issue at hand even hubby does not think she needs intervene.

UGH, my hubs wasn't exactly "on board" with it either...but moms intuition...I knew that would be creating a little monster if let to go on. Sometimes men do not understand the complexities of little girls minds. Daughters are ALWAYS the apple of daddies eyes, and love is truly blind. It's up to us moms to make sure our daughters grow healthy emotionally, because dads often don't "get it." Nothing against daddies in ANY way, but girls are just SOOOOO complicated! On the other hand, daddies are very much needed in a little girls life too, often to soften the blow between mother/daughter relations when things aren't great between us. DD and I have had MANY MANY times where daddy had to step in and say. Okay..ENOUGH already, BOTH of you let it go!

Nobody is perfect

The family dynamic is always difficult even in the best of circumstances

 

[Cindiloohoo]

Quote:
HEY! I was middle child and got the mess beat out of me by BOTH my siblings! Anytime I had disagreement with one, the other got involved. Middle child is a crappy position. My brother tried to throw me in a bonfire when I was 12, my sister made my life hell just by being the favorite and telling lies to get me in trouble. If SHE did something, she told my parents I did it!!!

I'm sorry i couldn't help it! I'm not condoning it! That's horrible! I'm the eldest and I always got blamed for everything! It sucked

. The middle child in our family was pretty much.... I can't say forgotten but left out of arguments and stuff. The youngest.... Got out of everything!

I'm what you call the "practice child"

"Practice child" indeed! Brother got the most discipline of all of us for sure. He was into SOOO much more though, so may have been a tiny bit deserved

Every position has it's perks. I did get ignored a lot, so a good bit of my stupidity got overlooked due to simply the parents weren't really paying enough attention. I waited for the right timing...always a diversion with an older brother and younger sister

 

[EweSheep]

I was the eldest and was a "good child" that my parents didn't have a difficult time raising me, too easy, they said.

However my sister, got away with everything, and blames me for alot of the stuff she did, like cutting Mrs Beasley's doll hair in the closet, peeing in the wagon when she could not make it back in the house, killing my guinea pig to see throwing rocks at him would make him run away from home (she was mad at me for something), and got hurt when she would not let me out of the screen door by putting her back against it, while she was licking on a spoon of peanut butter, and the glass broke after the second push, a few glass pieces in her back and blames me for hitting her! She ended up in the hospital for a few stitches, and my parents were upset with me for pushing the door open. After that, she was in more trouble than I was LOL! Gave my parents a few heart attacks on top of things she was not supposed to do, like smoking, sneaking out in the middle of the night, driving after curfews, having sex while in high school, etc.

We talked about it now and laughed but she still blames me! My mom told her she deserved every bit of the trouble she did!

 

[FarmerJamie]

Quote:

Been there, down that.....Even with the brother/sister dynamic, same result for me and sis.

 

[Cindiloohoo]

EweSheep~My sis went nuts too, and the parents soon found out who was really being so bad. She got into many of the same things as your sis and worse. My avie, is her child, whom I and my mother have raised since just over a year old.

Unfortunately, she did not get the parenting she needed, when she needed it, and this is the result. My youngest, I may be a little harder on, due to this fact. My oldest was somewhat easy, but parenting is never truly easy, else we aren't doing it right IMO

 

[EweSheep]

Quote:
When dd was in pre school, I've asked the teachers again from time to time and teacher's and parents conferences this: Have my daughter getting along with her peers? Has she any indictations of bullying others?

ALL of them said she is fine, she is learning, blah blah blah. Now this teacher has the "balls" to inform me that she did these things to the kids. Glad she told me and she could sense the tension between hubby and dd......I glared at hubby big time and "reap what you sow" like of thing. AND I am taking control of the issue at hand even hubby does not think she needs intervene.

UGH, my hubs wasn't exactly "on board" with it either...but moms intuition...I knew that would be creating a little monster if let to go on. Sometimes men do not understand the complexities of little girls minds. Daughters are ALWAYS the apple of daddies eyes, and love is truly blind. It's up to us moms to make sure our daughters grow healthy emotionally, because dads often don't "get it." Nothing against daddies in ANY way, but girls are just SOOOOO complicated! On the other hand, daddies are very much needed in a little girls life too, often to soften the blow between mother/daughter relations when things aren't great between us. DD and I have had MANY MANY times where daddy had to step in and say. Okay..ENOUGH already, BOTH of you let it go!

Nobody is perfect

The family dynamic is always difficult even in the best of circumstances

Exactly!!!!!!! He loves her to death. I've even give him the below the belt lecture one night when dd was sound asleep, letting him know that what he acted out would influence her. Would you want her boyfriend or husband to act that way to her? He gave a NO.

I rest my case. As soft hearted he is, he is upset about it and he would go back to his old habits of not being consisent and it is more work for me to keep on my toes, referee them when they get their arguements (stupid, really!) why she should not HAVE to brush her teeth. Even with explanations, and we both go brush our teeths WITH her would make it "fun". Well it is not FUN for her, more like a power play against him. I don't have too much problems with her....putting on a lower stern voice (not high pitched yells because she would ignore you) and made it clear to her that it is NOT acceptable. She respect me more than she does with daddy.

Hubby and I have waaaaaay too different displinary styles.....his is more of a "drill sargeant, in your face kind of thing" while I am giving her the punishment or warning right then and there. If she acted up in the store, I would take her right out of the store and go home. With him, it is like this "Now, K, we do not do this...." "K, we don't do that", "One more time, we will leave".....same quote over and over, and he does not take leave when he says it. Our counselor has told him that again and again, and change tactics if it does not work but be swift and consisent on your punishments toward her and make sure the punishment FITS the wrongdoing she did. That is why it is so much harder. Hubby was from an abusive household of uncaring and unloving parents, being bullied in school, got into ALOT of fights (as his classmates told me more about his background which it is alarming at times or downright shocking).

 

[KCchickens]

Quote:

I'm sorry i couldn't help it! I'm not condoning it! That's horrible! I'm the eldest and I always got blamed for everything! It sucked

. The middle child in our family was pretty much.... I can't say forgotten but left out of arguments and stuff. The youngest.... Got out of everything!

I'm what you call the "practice child"

"Practice child" indeed! Brother got the most discipline of all of us for sure. He was into SOOO much more though, so may have been a tiny bit deserved

Every position has it's perks. I did get ignored a lot, so a good bit of my stupidity got overlooked due to simply the parents weren't really paying enough attention. I waited for the right timing...always a diversion with an older brother and younger sister

that's the way to do it! Sadly I was unfortunate enough where timing didn't matter... Now my sister on the other hand ..... Impecable timing

 

[EweSheep]

Did you ever as a middle child would RELISH the time your older sibling fought with the youngest sibling?