I'm SO sick of bullies! Are you?!

[Cindiloohoo]

EweSheep~ Momma raised me and brother pretty much single handedly. Pop was an alcoholic for most of my "child" hood. He quit drinking heavily when I was about 14 or so. Sis was much younger and always got the "daddy protection" while me and bro got the belt from BOTH parents!

Mom was the only one constructively parenting, pop was an abuser at that time, both physically and emotionally. I think that is a good bit of sis' problems, no discipline, or not consistent discipline I should say, from a younger age. She was to my male parent what our kids are to their dads the "sweet innocent baby girl," and mom had no say once pop sobered up. An alcoholic just having quit, has about as much reasoning capabilities as a gnat. Too many brain cells fried I suppose. From that day forward though, she could do no wrong. It's really sad to see adults without proper coping skills. Glad our DD's have a balance of power so to speak. They'll be healthier individuals for it.

 

[Cindiloohoo]

Quote:
Are you kiddin me? I popped popcorn and grabbed a glass of iced tea!!!

 

[MaggieRae]

So glad I was an only child right now...

 

[KCchickens]

Quote:
Are you kiddin me? I popped popcorn and grabbed a glass of iced tea!!!

Oh you guys are askin for it!

I believe my brother did the same... Oh man sisters are at it again!

 

[can you hear me now?]

Finally read through. First off I raise my boys the way I was raised in the respects that they stand up for themselves. I taught them that if they get into trouble for fighting, there are always consequences for their actions. My oldest sine turned 14 in October. He is truly a gentle giant as well. He is 6 foot 2 and about 205 pounds. Plays sports, and has no idea his own strength. He doesn't fight because he wants to not be kicked from these sports. I think as parents it is our responsibility to teach our kids to stand up for themselves. If they do this they will be more independent as adults. Have to add I was a middle child. I actually had it worse than my two sisters. Can't say I had the greatest childhood, we were streetsmart children who by the age of ten were able to make our own food etc. I didn't get bullied as a kid. Wasn't exceptionally big or small. And also didn't take any crappy.from anyone. Anyway I feel I am rambling now so I guess my post is finished.

 

[Pelican49]

You know what's really sad? Adults that bully. I had the displeasure of working with a major bully for years. She was best friends with our Director's wife, and Godmother to one of his children, so complaining would only be hard on you, not her. I can imagine her as the schoolground bully, pushing people around, then running to the principal crying that she was the one being picked on.

Lots of little bullies turn into big bullies.

 

[KCchickens]

Quote:
Oh my yes! There horrible! I worked with a bunch of girls for 2 years..... They hated me because the boss saw I did a good job and gave me good shifts. They would ignore me and call me names, so I ignored them and continued doing my job. After I quit and moved, they now act like my best friends.

 

[EweSheep]

Me

bullies!

Questions for you: Do you think people that got picked on by bullies, ended up being a bully?

I think so, depending how much and how long the victim has been subjected by a bully.

 

[Cindiloohoo]

Quote:
I don't think so in every case. Sure in some cases the behavior is learned by the victim, and expected to be acceptable behavior then when they do it, as it was when the table was turned. With correct guidance and the understanding that getting bullied is NOT okay, and bullying is therefore NOT okay, I do not think those who get bullied turn into bullies. It's foundational issues that cause people to bully. Charachter flaws, lack of empathy, lack of maturity, over abundance of ego, inability to cope with things out of ones own control, etc. etc. is the root of bullying. So yes, sometimes the bullied become bullies if the root of the issue is not addressed. Other times, the bullied are guided into the correct way of coping, via counselling, or other means and it does not turn into a vicious cycle of abusive behavior.

 

[FarmerJamie]

Quote:
I think there is some truth to this. I know some individuals that fought back by becoming the "process" formulators in the HR arena for a company. Stupid rules that trump common sense, but tries to help everyone "get along". One process guideline actually had, "anyone involved in the situation has the right to call a 'time out' for all discussion, this suspends the discussion for 1 hour so everyone has a chance to reflect on their behavior". The reaction in the trenches was "what, are you going to take my juice box away, too?"